Whatever it Takes
by Cactus101
Summary: What does it take to get someone back?
1. Down a deep, dark hole

Whatever it Takes

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: Max's POV. Alec gets hurt. I'm not sure if there will be future chapters. That will depend on my muse.

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel

**DA~DA~DA**

I was in a meeting with Mole and some of the others, knee deep in work, trying to figure out how we were going to make it through the next few days when we heard the uproar coming from the floor in TC. My natural instinct was to wonder what that dumbass Alec had done and my thoughts were mirrored by Mole's reaction when he rolled his eyes and hissed, "Princess."

Lately, we had been getting on each other's nerves with the siege looking like it could go on for a long while and tempers and patience running as low as the supplies. Alec was constantly trying to keep everyone loose but his immature antics and the volatile results had started to wear thin on some of us. I tried to ignore the commotion below and continued working but I could only wonder which one of Alec's stupid scams had gone sideways and how I was going to be left cleaning up his mess. I let my anger get the better of me and without a word, I stood up and I stormed out of the meeting determined to kick some butt.

Mole and the others followed suit, scrambling gleefully over each other to get a better view. Their lively banter was punctuated with predictions and wagers on Alec's fate. I pushed the door open and with a nasty scowl looked down on the floor, scanning the room, trying to make sense of the panicked movements which seemed out of place with what I thought was the cause. I heard someone yell for the medics and then I saw him being dragged in, Joshua holding something that used to be a shirt now soaked in blood against Alec's head and three or four others holding his limbs as they carried his lifeless body into TC.

I remember the look of wild panic in Joshua's eyes and the plaintiff wail of his voice as he called my name over and over again. I remember the horrible ashen pallor of Alec's face in stark contrast to the deep crimson blotches dripping onto the dirty floor. I remember Mole pushing me aside as he rushed down to help his comrades while I stood frozen to the spot.

I remember standing in the corner of the infirmary, not knowing how I had gotten there, watching the medical team working furiously and hearing my voice telling them, "Do whatever it takes," and then the looks on their faces as they understood there was no other possible option but to keep Alec alive. This was not just anybody, this was Alec and despite what I thought of him minutes earlier, I didn't know what it would do to us if we lost him.

He was rushed into surgery and we were left standing in the corridor unmoving and not knowing what to do with the anger and the fear pulsating through us. Logan had the presence of mind to take over and organized us into groups; some donated blood, others kept TC going and some worked on getting medical supplies we thought Alec would need. As the surgery dragged on and our adrenaline wore out, we sat and waited and tried to console each other. That's when I was told what had happened, how the supply run had gone bad and how Alec got between a crazed ordinary and Joshua as the gun went off. How Alec saved Joshua's life possibly in exchange for his own.

I remember swallowing down the bitter fear as I stood and watched the exhausted medics make their way towards Joshua and I. Their faces were unreadable, their shoulders slumped and their scrubs splattered with blood and god knew what else. They explained that the bullet had carved a tunnel deep into Alec's brain, that it would never heal, that the surgery was extremely difficult and despite being transgenic, they couldn't tell us if he would ever regain consciousness let alone speak or walk again. Each word felt like an exploding grenade, tearing our world apart, ripping through our hearts and then I heard the sound of my world collapsing as I held onto an inconsolable Joshua.

Next thing I remember, I was staring down at the sad and expectant faces of TC. I was there to deliver an update on Alec's condition but it was more than that and I remember thinking that there are promises one should never make. But I needed this as much as everyone else and although I didn't spare them the grim details, I told them we were going to get him back.

I remember the crushing pressure in my chest when I saw him next. Alec was unrecognizable; heavily sedated, kept alive by machines, his chest rising and falling to the air being forced into his lungs through a tube jammed down his throat. His face was puffy and swollen, his eyes a mass of bruises, his head swathed in bandages, tubes and wires snaking in and out of his body. I remember the overwhelming sense of quiet and stillness in the room and thinking this wasn't Alec. Our Alec was a ball of energy; adventure, danger and fun. Our Alec wasn't here and as silly as it sounds, I was angry at him for leaving this imposter in his place.

**DA~DA~DA**

We took turns waiting for Alec to come back to us. Joshua was a constant, refusing to leave Alec's side, waiting impatiently for his friend to wake, humming softly to him and rubbing circles over his chest. Sketchy sat with him and talked nonstop about the goings on in TC and the outside world even if he didn't have any clue whether Alec could hear him or not. Mole appointed himself Alec's bodyguard and stood outside the infirmary certifying that no one came in without being scrubbed clean and dressed in regulation hospital garb. When the lizard man sat with Alec, he studied his friend with military precision and you could see the heartache in his eyes each time he left that room with nothing to show for his effort. The rest of us took over the washing, changing and turning duties making sure Alec was clean, warm and comfortable.

After a week, the medics began to wean Alec off the respirator and the sedatives. We waited to see whether he would regain consciousness. He didn't but Alec started to show signs of life, flexing his fingers and moving his eyes beneath his eyelids. Nevertheless, he was still lost to us and I missed hearing his annoying comments. Stupidly, I wished he was putting us on and told him as much one night when the solitude became too much for me.

"You better be dreaming of getting that lazy ass of yours out of that bed," I choked out miserably as I clutched his hand. Even my threats weren't enough to wake him up.

**DA~DA~DA**

One morning the medics came in and removed his bandages. It was the first time I witnessed the extent of the damage and how his skull had been cracked open. The scars were more grotesque than what I had imagined; ragged and angry with stitches crisscrossing the left side of his head. I was mortified to look because I could only imagine the kind of destruction that lay underneath. Until then, I didn't really understand the depth of the hole that Alec had fallen into. Until then, I really thought we could somehow get him back. Now, I wasn't so sure. I wasn't so sure I had done the right thing and the doubt was eating me up and for the first time since this all went down I cried.

The next day Sketchy came in carrying some of his knit caps and a shitload of bravado. I watched him struggling to sound normal and keep himself together before the unsightly scar.

"Hey Alec, what's up?" Sketchy asked and pulled up a chair next to the bed. "How are you feeling today?" He gently fingered Alec's arm before continuing, "Dude, you really need to wake up and see this. The girls are just killing themselves to get at you. They're lining up outside your door and practically fighting each other to get in. Just the type of action you'd enjoy, huh?" Sketchy laughed but it was hollow and there was no joy behind it. He shifted uncomfortably and then pulled out a few of his hats.

"I know it's not your style, but take it from me, you need to upgrade your wardrobe." Sketchy tugged at the Alec's gown in a mock tease, "I know just the thing." The young man laid the hats on Alec's chest then he held up his hand as if to stop Alec from speaking.

"Now, I know what you're going to say, but Mole already made sure these caps have been washed and sterilized so don't give me any grief about them." Sketchy watched Alec for a reaction and when none was forthcoming he continued, "Alright, I'll pick one for you." He fingered them pensively then chose a brown and tan one.

"This one's my favourite," he said before guiding it over Alec's head careful not to catch on the stitches or the draining tubes. Sketchy's hand lingered as he tucked in some errand strands of hair from Alec's mismatched haircut. He stared for a moment or two and then his eyes welled up with emotion.

"It hasn't been the same without you, buddy," he added in a strangled voice as he straightened out the cap until it looked just perfect. "Hurry up and wake up, okay," he pleaded softly and with that, turned away quickly, swiping at his eyes before leaving the room.

**DA~DA~DA**

Alec opened his eyes today but unlike those TV shows he loved to watch, there was no miraculous, 'snap your fingers and Alec is back' moment. Alec stayed 'awake' for lack of a better word, a few minutes at a time but his eyes were empty, without recognition or awareness. Joshua was heartbroken but steadfast, never leaving his friend's side, masking his disappointment and gently willing Alec back.

I couldn't mask my feelings so easily. My guilt was ripping at me and once again I seriously began to doubt my order to the medics on that fateful day. Did I really do the right thing by Alec? What if he was somewhere in there, aware of his surroundings and not able to communicate? Worse still, what if he wasn't and he never got better? My responsibility in all of this was like a rock weighing me down in an ocean of doubt and I was mad at the world and myself. My natural instinct was to take my anger out on Alec just like I had done a thousand times before and before I knew it I was yelling at him.

"Get back here you dumbass," I ground out from 10,000 miles away and then I stared at him, hoping and praying and Alec just stared back mindlessly and my heart clenched violently and I just couldn't breathe anymore.

"I'm sorry, Alec," I whispered guiltily. "I'll do my best…to make it better…I'll do whatever it takes." I searched his eyes and all I kept hearing was his voice taunting me with his typical comeback, 'didn't know you cared, Maxie.' I prayed that one day he would.

**DA~DA~DA**

One morning I watched Joshua come in and out of Alec's room and realized that Alec was visually tracking his friend. I had Joshua move from one side of the bed to the other, always across Alec's line of vision. Each time we waited patiently until Alec's eyes followed. Eventually Alec started to subtly turn his head in the direction of his friend's voice and I could tell Alec was always more relaxed when Big Fella was in the room. In my mind, I kept hoping it was because he was still protective of Joshua, that he was keeping an eye out for his friend and felt at ease when Joshua was close and under his watchful eye. I tried to stop this kind of thinking, I told myself I was reading too much into this because I knew it was dangerous to hope, it was painful, so painful to want, but my heart couldn't bear the alternative. I would rather die a thousand deaths hoping than to never imagine Alec coming back to us.

**DA~DA~DA**

Alec could hardly move his right side. The doctors concluded this was the result of the location of the wound, some medical jargon about his left hemisphere sustaining the bulk of the damage. We didn't have to understand it, we just had to try and fix it. The medics didn't give us much hope for improvement but when pressed, they agreed to show us exercises we could do to help Alec get stronger. We put together a schedule, taking turns with his rehab, strengthening and loosening his muscles getting him ready to get out of that bed.

Alec started tapping his left hand on his chest. It was jerky and uncoordinated and the medics thought the movement was some sort of nervous tick, spasm or electrical impulse. We believed them. They were wrong. We were all wrong.

**DA~DA~DA**

Alec hadn't made a sound since his awakening. We tried to get him to respond to simple yes no questions by tapping his hand or blinking his eyes or squeezing our hands. We couldn't get anything meaningful out of him and we couldn't tell whether he didn't understand or couldn't coordinate his movements to answer.

Everyday Joshua asked Alec if he wanted ice chips. One tap for no, two taps yes. Sometimes Alec didn't respond and other times he tapped continuously. But today, we could tell Alec was more alert, his eyes were brighter, more focused. He watched Joshua intently and seemed to listen to the question. Joshua made Alec repeat his answer several times and this time it was consistent, always the same; yes to ice chips. Big Fella yelped happily and I almost kissed the jerk.

"What took you so long?" I teased gently.

Alec stared back at me and I swear I saw something akin to a plea in his eyes and I almost came undone. I knew in my heart that Alec was in there somewhere and I kept wondering how I was going to get the old Alec back from inside this body that couldn't smirk, drooled constantly and couldn't respond to most of what we were asking of him.

**DA~DA~DA**

The medics thought it best to try to get Alec to eat real food and eventually get him off the feeding tube. Joshua was the only one who had enough persistence for all of us and in any case he wouldn't allow anyone else feed Alec.

It was a slow process. First, we had to get Alec to sit up and if done too quickly, caused intense dizzy spells . Once Alec was in a sitting position, it could take up to an hour for him to get through a small bowl of soup. He had trouble holding his head up and swallowing and usually ended up with more soup dribbling down his chin than down his throat. Only Joshua's devotion was equal to the task and he would uncomplainingly wipe up the mess and start the whole process over and over again. Joshua never lost patience or got frustrated even when Alec was unable to hold down the little he had eaten and Joshua's only option was to draw his friend into his shoulder and allow his shirt to be soaked in regurgitated liquid just so Alec wouldn't choke on his own vomit. None of that mattered to Joshua as long as Alec got better.

Normally, I would visit Alec as often as I could especially at lunch or supper time but lately I just didn't have it in me to watch. It had been three days and I told myself to suck it up and show Joshua some support. I plastered my best smile and sauntered into Alec's room. Joshua was palming Alec's forehead with one hand to keep it steady while trying to position a small spoon into his mouth with the other.

"Hey Big Fella, hey Alec, how's it going today?" I asked and rubbed Alec's arm. Alec didn't even look at me and Joshua shrugged half-heartedly.

"Slow," he offered before focusing on the task at hand. "Come on Alec, you can do it. Just a little more." Joshua worked the spoon past Alec's lips as he pushed Alec`s head back slightly before tipping the contents past his teeth and into his mouth. Joshua turned and placed the spoon on the small tray table and quickly used his free hand to support Alec's jaw. Alec's mouth worked convulsively, lips smacking and his jaw making chewing motions and after what seemed like hours, Alec attempted to swallow while Joshua held his jaw and forehead and murmured encouragements. Alec's left hand fidgeted, tensing, clenching and trying to reach up towards Joshua.

It was like being punched in the stomach watching him struggle with such a simple task.

"Good job, Alec," I lied and Alec just looked away.

Joshua slowly let go of Alec's head and watched as his friend continued to work the tiny spoonful of food around in his mouth.

"That's it… Alec can do it…"Joshua whispered his eyes bright with hope and then Alec's head flopped to the side and Joshua didn't intervene and I watched as liquid dribbled out of the side of Alec's mouth.

"It's ok, Alec," I consoled him and grabbed a towel to wipe it up. Joshua stopped me and huffed dejectedly.

"Alec need to get stronger," he said then turned back to Alec. "Come on, Alec… almost had it…head up…come on, up…Alec head up…" And although Alec's eyes were still unfocused, I could see the jerky attempts he was making to follow Joshua`s instructions. Over and over again, Alec dipped his chin towards his chest and tried to use the momentum to lift his head but to no avail. When Alec finally stilled, his breaths coming in short pants, Joshua gently placed his hand across Alec's forehead and pushed it back and kept it in place while he wiped Alec's mouth and chin. Joshua held him like this for a few moments allowing Alec some time to recuperate before asking if he was ready for more. The whole scene was ripping at my heart. I told them I'd be back later and then left before my eyes betrayed me.

**DA~DA~DA**

It was mid morning as I walked towards the infirmary. I knew something was up when Mole made me scrub again and all he offered was a grunt in response to my greeting. I walked into the Alec's room expecting to take over some rehab exercises from OC or Sketchy but instead it was empty, the lights dimmed and Joshua was sitting quietly watching his friend and rubbing his arm.

"What's wrong?" I asked worriedly. Alec's eyes were closed and he wore a pained expression on his face.

"Alec not feeling well," Joshua said softly and touched Alec's forehead lightly checking for fever although there was a device clipped to his finger. I glanced at the monitor, it flashed 106.8.

"What happened?" I asked and looked for the medic on duty.

"Alec woke up too warm... couldn't hold down food," Joshua related without taking his eyes off his friend.

"Where's the medic? Why aren't they giving him anything?" I questioned.

"Doctor injected medicine a few minutes ago," Joshua confirmed.

Alec grunted as he turned his glassy eyes towards Joshua then he tapped his hand twice on his chest before he raised his hand sluggishly and tapped twice on his lips. Even I could see this was deliberate on Alec's part and when Joshua saw the surprised look on my face he explained.

"Alec talking now," he said with a measure of pride in his voice. "Alec not just answering questions…Alec lets Joshua know what he needs." Joshua stroked Alec's forehead gently. "Good, Alec," he praised his friend and grabbed the Styrofoam cup off the tray table and spooned a small amount of ice chips into his mouth.

"When did this happen?" I asked elated but dumbfound.

"Few days," Joshua replied.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I felt my lips quirking into a stupid grin.

Joshua shrugged noncommittally and sighed as he rubbed Alec's arm. "Didn't want Max to be disappointed if..." and he left the rest unsaid and I realized how much Joshua was in tune with all of our moods. "Alec is in there," he said quietly, "Need patience to get him back."

I nodded gratefully. "I'm glad he has a friend like you."

"Alec doing all the hard work," Joshua said and turned away clearly uncomfortable with the attention. "Joshua wish he could do more," he whispered sadly and that's when I finally noticed the toll this ordeal had taken on Joshua. How he had watched his friend almost die and now he watched Alec come back to life but not living yet. It was easy to be fooled by Joshua's cheery demeanor into thinking that maybe he didn't fully realize what was going on. But Joshua put up a brave front for Alec's sake, always believing Alec was aware and therefore trying to hide his disappointment and hurt from his friend.

"You should get some rest, Joshua," I urged but instead he looked down at his friend. Alec's breathing was noisy and he looked tired and pale and uncomfortable. His eyes slid shut every few seconds and then fluttered open again and his hand gripped at the sheet and then released it repetitively.

"Alec talking now," Joshua repeated and leaned down towards him. "Alec want Joshua to stay?" He asked hesitantly. Alec opened his eyes and stared up at his friend, he released the sheet and reached for Joshua's hand and placed it over his chest. Alec began making groaning noises but he didn't seem in any pain almost as if trying to speak. I watched them and wondered how ironic that Alec couldn't speak and yet Joshua seemed to understand him quite easily. I watched this quiet conversation between them.

"Alright, Josh stay," and the Big Fella pulled the chair closer to the bed. Alec continued to groan and tug Joshua's hand over his chest.

"Together?" Joshua asked and Alec tapped on Joshua's hand in acknowledgment and then wrapped his fingers around Joshua's big paw as Big Fella began to rub slow circles on Alec's chest.

"Alec start?" Joshua implored and waited hopefully. Alec's eyes fluttered and he sighed deeply before letting out a long groan. Joshua smiled contentedly and let Alec continue before he joined him, humming an old children's song.

I stood back and watched in amazement as Joshua's humming and Alec's groans melded into one. Joshua comforting his friend like he had done from the very first day and Alec trying to reach out to us the best way he knew how. I couldn't help the stupid grin that broke out on my face because I truly believed there was reason for hope and this was just the beginning. I leaned into Joshua and laid my chin on top of his shoulder so I could watch them both as I joined them in a chorus of gratitude. I didn't know how far we could take this but I knew we would do whatever it takes because Alec was on his way back and three of us were together. Again.

...


	2. Pesky Snowflakes

Whatever it Takes

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: Max's POV. Alec gets hurt. My muse couldn't help herself...

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

The low grade fever lingered for days and Alec became more and more listless, reaching for his scars and pulling and scratching at them. Joshua or I sat with him, dragging his hand down over and over again, finally getting him to stop when we traced circular patters over the jagged zigzags that mapped the damage on his head. We decided to organize shifts to watch over Alec and it was when I was working in my office that Mole knocked and walked in without waiting for an invitation.

"Joshua needs you," was all he said and I noticed the hard edge to his face as I got up and followed him out.

"Is it the fever?" I questioned.

"Not really," Mole answered and stiffened, his body language sent a stabbing sense of fear into my chest. I automatically quickened my steps and trotted ahead pushing past the door into Alec's room without a second thought for scrubbing or knocking.

I heard an awful keening sound that stopped me in my tracks. I pulled back the curtain and saw the medic, Sketchy and Joshua leaning over Alec who seemed to be motioning to them for something.

"What's wrong?" I croaked my chest tight with worry.

Sketchy glanced up at me and his eyes were just as pain filled as Alec's. "Headache," he muttered, "Bad one," he added unnecessarily.

Alec was ashen, his eyes filled with raw agony; the muscles in his neck corded tautly, his left hand jerking wildly trying to tell us something and his right hand trembling uncontrollably. But it was that awful sound he was making that scared me the most; part groan, part sob, interspersed with gasping like he was dying right there in front of us.

I heard Joshua whimper and that was all it took for me to act. "Mole, take Joshua outside," I ordered and placed my hands on Joshua's shoulder and arm to guide him up.

Mole stepped forward, "Come on big guy," he coaxed and tugged at Joshua's arm. "Max is here. Let her try."

Joshua turned around and stared at me helplessly. "Max, please…" he choked out.

"It's okay, go with Mole." Joshua got up slowly and looked at Alec one last time before allowing Mole to steer him out. I turned back to the medic.

"What do we need to do?"

"I administered a different type of medication… stronger." The medic stated in a detached voice. "We need to see if it will take effect before we try something else. We need to know what's working and then get the right dose."

"How long?" I questioned feeling my heart constricting watching Alec in so much pain.

"About 5 minutes," he said and looked up to gauge my reaction. "It's the strongest painkiller we have at our disposal," and I understood that if this didn't work we'd be out of options.

"Call Logan, he'll help you get whatever you need," I ordered and the medic acknowledged me with a curt nod and walked out.

"Alec, just a few more minutes…" I took his trembling hand and tried to calm him.

"He keeps asking for something to drink but then refuses," Sketchy said, his voice wavering. As if on cue, Alec tapped twice on his chest and then twice on his lips and he grunted and gasped with the urgency of his request and kept tapping repetitively on his chest as Sketchy grabbed the cup and positioned the straw by his mouth. Alec pushed it away and turned his head to the side. He tapped the same sequence; twice on his chest, twice on his lips and then continued tapping on his chest.

"I don't understand, Alec."

He moaned, scrunched his face in agony and reached up to rip at his scars. Sketchy grabbed his hand and eased it down, his eyes questioning me on what to do next.

"Let him go," I insisted and Sketchy did so tentatively, ready to move again if Alec tried to hurt himself. Alec looked up at me, his eyes filled with a desperation I hadn't seen before. Again, he tapped twice on his chest and twice on his lips.

"You don't want something to drink?" I asked even though I knew the answer. Alec groaned and closed his eyes, his lashes darkened with moisture, his frustration getting the better of him. He reached up and curled his fingers around the longer strands of hair, tugging like he was trying to pull the pain right out of his skull. I covered his hand and tried to pry his fingers loose.

"Alec, take my hand, squeeze my hand," I implored. His eyes shot open, clarity and lucidity shone through and he pulled my hand away and guided it towards my lips and tapped twice.

"Alec, what is it?" I asked confused and he repeated the same motion, tapping my fingers against my lips and then letting go of my hand and tapping his fingers to his lips twice with a forceful groan. The light bulb went off in my head.

"Alec, you want to speak?"

He grabbed at my hand frantically and turned it over so it was palm up on his chest then turned to me, both agony and weariness lined his face and I could see how anxious he was to be understood. He began tapping into my palm in a very concentrated rhythm of three short taps and three long taps. The sequence was familiar. I looked up into Alec's gaze, his green eyes darkened by hurt, pleading for me to comprehend and I berated myself for not figuring this whole thing out sooner.

"'SOS?" I asked guiltily. He stopped tapping and took in a shaky breath, his liquid gaze softening into gratitude and relief and he tapped twice for yes before letting his head fall to the side.

How could I have been so stupid? I should have picked up on the tapping, should have known he was trying to communicate using Morse code. It didn't matter whether Alec was tapping anything meaningful or not, it was the tapping, I should have known. I should have known.

I leaned in closer. "Alec, I hear you," I reassured him. "I hear you," I whispered softly against his ear.

Alec closed his eyes against the pain and the exhaustion and I prayed he knew that he wasn't trapped in his own world any longer. Sketchy looked at me questioningly, his eyes a pit of worry and empathy for his friend. We practically counted down the seconds, praying that Alec would get some reprieve from this torture and just as the medic had hoped, a few minutes later the medication eased some of his suffering. Alec still fidgeted and shivered and couldn't focus long enough to keep his eyes open but he didn't fight Sketchy when he slid a hat over his head and cocooned him in blankets to keep him warm. Sketchy motioned that it was okay if I wanted to go check on Joshua or speak with the medic. He would sit by Alec's side retelling him tales from Crash and Jam Pony not caring whether the words got through to Alec only caring that his friend knew he was not alone.

Whatever relief Alec got from the medication was short lived. The headaches got worse and Alec was caught in a vicious cycle of mind numbing pain that left him trembling like a leaf, whimpering and slamming his hand against his head. Alec needed constant medication and we had to resort to sedating him most of the time. Sometimes the drugs weren't enough and when Alec's pupils were blown and his breathing labored and he was shaking uncontrollably, Joshua would stroke the crease between his friend's eyes until the tremors stopped and Alec let himself be taken by the drugs.

Logan called his contacts and with their help, the medics eventually found the right dose and mix of drugs that would control the debilitating headaches. That ordeal had taken a lot out of all of us but especially Alec and although he was weak, we quickly tried to get him back into a normal routine; Joshua doing the feeding, the rest of us sharing the other duties and OC insisting on overseeing his grooming.

"Now we can't have a pretty boy with this mishmash hair, can we, Sugar?" OC drawled kindly and ran her fingers through his hair. The hair on the left side of Alec's head had started to grow in with fine, short spikes poking through and the right side sported long, unruly hair curling in every direction.

"OC says we need to fix this and fast. We can't have you looking like this, now can we? Uh, huh…not if OC has anything to do about it." Alec looked up at her not understanding, not having seen himself but enjoying her banter and soft tone and he sat still for her while she went about trying to even out his hair. She leaned back and admired her work. "Now that's what I call a pretty boy," OC pronounced and I had to agree that Alec did look more like himself.

OC also helped Alec wash up, shave and brush his teeth. She would hold his hand over the razor or the toothbrush, gently guiding him. "Now, doesn't that feel better?" She cooed proudly, noticing he was gaining strength and dexterity every day. Alec surprised her one day when he reached for the toothbrush and clumsily went about brushing his teeth. OC flashed him a thousand watt smile as she fussed over him, "That's my Alec, that's my pretty boy."

**DA~DA~DA**

Communication with Alec was still difficult, he used a combination of Morse code and sign language but he couldn't form complete sentences. Sometimes the words he strung together made no sense or weren't in the correct order or didn't correspond to the thread of the conversation. The medics told us this was normal considering it was miraculous he could communicate at all given the damage he had sustained. But it wasn`t normal for Alec who could come up with a thousand comebacks in an instant and now could hardly string together a coherent three word sentence. And then there was the fact that he wasn't speaking.

One morning, I walked in on Mole trying to goad Alec into talking. I stayed back, behind the curtain not wanting to interfere.

"So princess, let's talk." Mole growled.

Alec stared back for a moment trying to process the words and then awkwardly tapped his left index twice for yes and glanced over at Joshua for validation and reassurance.

"Well how about you say my name. I'm tired of talking to your finger." Mole snarled in mock anger and when he saw Alec's eyes widen in shock at his tone, Mole adjusted quickly. "You think I'm smart enough to keep track of all this tapping and Morse code stuff?" the lizard man groused and rubbed his temple as if this was taking all of his brain power to figure out.

Alec looked at Mole in confusion and innocently tapped yes in answer to his statement.

"Mole," Joshua berated and moved Alec's breakfast tray away. Pieces of food were scattered all over the tray with bits on the towel draped across Alec's chest and others on the floor. Alec had started to use his fingers to eat, it was slow going and he still wasn't eating enough but it gave him a sense of control and independence and confidence. Joshua was wiping Alec's hands and cleaning up the area as he shot Mole a cautioning glance which the lizard man ignored.

"Well, this lizard ain't smart enough for all this undercover code so, you better start talking." Mole huffed out in an exaggerated manner so Alec wouldn't misunderstand.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw the spark in the Alec's eyes when he understood the challenge Mole had issued and he tentatively tapped out yes and scratched nervously at the bar code on his neck. Alec hadn't tried to speak since he had woken up and it almost seemed like he didn't know what to do or how to form the words to get the sound out but today, something seemed to click in his head and he swallowed several times before looking up at Mole, his face scrunched deep in thought.

Mole folded his arms over his chest and stood daring Alec to say his name. Joshua huffed irately and turned away clearly not agreeing with Mole's tactics or timing. Alec hesitantly pursed his lips together and then his mouth contorted laboriously. Mole tapped his finger on his arm and gave Alec a bored look.

"I'm still waiting," he said impatiently.

Alec gathered himself, clearly not giving up, his mouth knotted with the effort of trying to expel the sound of Mole's name. Joshua watched from the other side of the room and as much as he didn't like Mole pushing Alec, he listened expectantly for any semblance of speech in between the harsh breaths and indistinguishable grunts.

"Come on princess," Mole encouraged gently, "I know you can do it." He watched as Alec tried over and over again but nothing came out and when he saw Alec was getting frustrated he moved right up to his bed.

"Watch me," Mole said and puckered his lips and he hummed out the first letter before stretching it out and sounding out his entire name. The lizard man did this over and over again.

Alec's eyes widened and locked onto Mole's features, studying the lizard man's facial expression and he imitated the same pattern while his throat worked convulsively and still nothing. This went on for a few minutes until beads of sweat lined Alec's upper lip. Mole almost felt sorry for the kid and Joshua was about to tell his friend to stop when they both froze.

"O...O...Ol….Ole….ummmmm….ummmm." Alec's head fell back on the pillow in exhaustion.

Both Joshua and Mole stared at each other in amazement, they didn't care that the syllables were not in the right sequence, it was clear to them Alec had spoken, really spoken. They hugged each other as they jumped up and down joyfully and I couldn't help but smile at their silly antics but more importantly at Alec's accomplishment.

Joshua almost ran me over as he left room to announce the good news to everyone and Mole chomped on his unlit cigar as he looked down at his friend as proud as a dad who had just heard his baby speak his first word. "You did good princess," he said and squeezed Alec's shoulder, "Real good."

What should have been an encouraging first step became a lesson in frustration for Alec. He was not able to spit out the first sound of most words. It was as if his brain was stuck and his mouth could form the letters but his throat wouldn't allow them out. Mole become Ole, Joshua was Osh, and I became EE. We tried everything but Alec couldn't do it and there were days when he refused to try, shutting down and reverting to using his hands.

Something else Alec was stuck on was not being able to get out of that bed. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was something about being upright that caused Alec to panic. Joshua would try to pull him up and then place him in the chair and Alec would break out in a cold sweat. Big Fella had to resort to easing him from the bed into the chair without lifting him up.

Today was one of those not so good days. Alec picked at his food, refused to talk and wanted nothing to do with the chair. I thought Joshua needed a break and sent him off on an errand and enlisted Mole to sit with Alec for a while and try to get him to eat. The lizard man even tried stealing some of Alec's food to see if that territorial wolf DNA would emerge but all it did was cause Alec to push the tray towards his friend. The lizard man grumbled and made a disapproving face but that was all for show, a ruse to get Alec out of his funk but nothing seemed to work and Mole stared at the tray before looking back at Alec who yawned and let his eyes drift around the room aimlessly. Mole had given up on getting any more food into Alec and had started to clean up when he heard a soft whisper. He looked up and saw the pure amazement in Alec's face. He followed his line of vision to the window and saw the big, thick snowflakes flying softly through the air.

"Mole, snow," Alec said and pointed to the window. Alec spoke. Two whole words and Mole's heart was skipping wildly in his chest.

"What?" He groused irately, maintaining his personna even while his eyes widened hoping he heard right.

"Snow," Alec said breathlessly, completely entranced by the sight beyond the window. "Mole," he called and looked at his friend, "Snow," and his eyes sparkled and Mole tried to contain his excitement and did what Alec would have expected from him.

"Well, is it purple this year?" He huffed in annoyance.

Alec pointed to the chair by the window, his hand shaking with excitement. "Mole…chair…Mole," and motioned impatiently with his hand. Three words.

"Alright, hold your horses. I'm coming," Mole cleared the tray away from the bed and made sure nothing else was in the way. He pushed the sheets aside and pulled Alec toward him, moving his legs off the edge of the bed and onto the floor. He didn't bother with shoes or socks; he needed to get this done before Alec realized what was happening. He placed Alec's arms over his shoulders and grabbed him around the waist and held his breath - god, the kid was impossibly light and bony and Mole had no trouble standing him up. He took a moment to pull Alec tighter into his hold and carefully walked him over to the chair before lowering him into it. Mole let out that breath, grateful that this time there was no tantrum, no shaking, no crying in fear and he grabbed a blanket from the bed and draped it over Alec's legs.

Mole pushed the chair until it was up against the window and watched the snow flying by remembering one of those trivial facts that no two snowflakes were alike. Maybe there was a way to test that theory and the lizard man twisted the latch at the top of the window and pushed it up, allowing a few of the snowflakes to slip through the opening and float down into Alec's outstretched hand.

When he turned to look at Alec and saw that familiar crooked grin and impossible mischievous twinkle he knew it was true; no two snowflakes are alike and his chest tightened at how much he missed the stupid kid and his annoying comebacks and his crazy scams and the all night poker games and how he always had your back, no matter what. And Mole couldn't help it if his hand reached out and ruffled Alec's hair affectionately, grateful that they hadn't given up on him, grateful that the kid's face still lit up at the first snow of the year, grateful that he said three words today.

Mole felt a prickling sensation behind his eyelids and he blinked furiously against the moisture that threatened to spill and he wondered just how it was that one of those pesky, fragile, precious snowflakes got into his eyes.

...


	3. Meltdown

Whatever it Takes - Meltdown

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: More from my muse….I swear, I don't control her…your reviews do.

Warning: Bad and badder words.

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA~DA**

Nobody said it would be easy.

I was used to Alec eating with his hands, the stuttered words, the broken sentences, his refusal to stand, his inability to walk and all those other things he was struggling with. But it was the lack of a mask that made it difficult to watch. Having to see his frustration, his doubt and anger so raw and open like a wound that just wouldn't heal.

Alec's emotions were constantly simmering, just below the surface, like ticking time bombs waiting to erupt. When they did, all we could do was stand back, let them run their course and then pick-up every jagged piece of him. The medics reminded us to be patient. They said it was not uncommon with his type of injury. That his personality would probably be altered but given time…except some days Alec could test all the angels and saints in heaven with his belligerent tone and uncooperative behavior. Still, we understood because although Alec was improving steadily it also meant he was more acutely aware of his limitations and what he may have lost.

Alec's behavior was even more volatile when he was tired and his self-control was non-existent. More often than not, it was because of a troubled night. Alec had become restless in his sleep. His body twitched and shook reminiscent of the jerky movements of a cat or dog caught in a dream. Except he wasn't dreaming and he wasn't really sleeping either. The medics explained that his brain was on overdrive, trying to create new connections, to rewire, to make up for the lack of functionality and his body was reacting to what was going on in his brain.

When the rest of the world was asleep, I would sneak into Alec's room to watch over him. Joshua was in his usual spot crammed into a cot by the side of the bed. After his cursory growl at my intrusion, he would fall back to sleep except when his ears perked up to listen for any sounds of distress from his friend.

And Alec, he would be twitching involuntarily; his hands yanking and gripping anything within reach. His throat tightening until he snorted raggedly. His eyes opened at half-mast and darting about looking like he was awake when he wasn't. Each episode lasted about 30 seconds and then Alec's fingers loosened. His body relaxed. His breathing evened out and his eyes slid shut. Only then, did he succumb to sleep. By morning he would be twisted and tangled in his sheets. We would find the pillows strewn haphazardly on the floor. His tee shirt would be sweat stained, his hair dampened and body overheated.

I wish I knew where he went during these episodes. If I did, I'd go get him and bring him back or maybe take him somewhere far away, somewhere safe. But that was just wishful thinking because I doubted any such place existed. At least not for us. And that's what scared me the most. That's what kept me up at night and brought me to his room.

I knew we would do anything to protect Alec but what chance would he have of surviving should we ever need to escape TC and go on the run? Worse still, what if we couldn't get away and White or the Ordinaries got their hands on him? The thought of what they would do felt like a cold dagger poking through my chest and into my heart. It haunted me and led to darker thoughts. Thoughts of Alec lying in my arms as Ben had. My head told me to be prepared but my heart, it couldn't conceive doing such a thing.

I stared at him as I swallowed down the feeling of dread filling me. I grasped his flailing hand as he was overtaken by another round of spasms. I reached over and stroked his scars until his brain relented and released him back to sleep. I counted out his soft breaths and watched him lying in that bed looking so vulnerable and breakable. Never before had I felt the weight of responsibility for another like I did at that moment for Alec and I knew I would rather die than hurt him…but it was the thought of what they would do to him…and nobody told me it would be this hard.

**DA~DA~DA~DA**

We set-up a rehab room for Alec with equipment either donated or purchased by Logan. It had weights, machines, balls and parallel bars for walking. Except Alec balked at any exercise that put him in a vertical position. We couldn't figure out the reason why and he wouldn't tell. The medics advised there was nothing preventing him from trying to stand up as long as there was someone to support him. Their real concern was that Alec was largely underweight, down at least 10 lbs. and dropping. It was a lot for a transgenic who didn't have an ounce of fat on him to begin with. Alec still hadn't regained his appetite, constantly picked at his food and ate less than half his meals. The medics said his brain wasn't triggering his hunger response. That and the fact that his faster than normal metabolism was eating through his own muscle was the reason they discussed putting him back on the feeding tube.

We tried everything to get Alec to eat more or get him up on his feet. But he would have none of it. All he wanted to do was lie on the floor of the rehab room and drag himself around. We ended up laying mats over the entire room.

I asked Sketchy to oversee Alec's daily exercise routine. They had a good camaraderie and Alec didn't feel like he had to prove anything to his friend. Sketchy would help manipulate Alec's limbs while keeping up a litany of commentary that would get Alec speaking and improving his speech and reducing his stuttering. When all the required exercises were completed, they would switch to play mode; tossing the big beach ball, wrestling and drag racing each other across the room. Lately, Alec had been more worn-out than usual. His drive and determination were still there but his energy waned noticeably and with it his mood. At the end of today's exercises, Alec lay on the floor with his arm draped across his eyes not wanting to play or talk or anything. Nothing Sketchy did helped and the young man had no choice but to get Mole who would bring Alec back to his room.

The lizard man walked in and started in on Alec as soon as he saw the defeated outline lying on the floor.

"Are you ever gonna stop slithering around like some kind of a worm?" Mole groused. He couldn't stand to see the young transgenic unable to walk and worse still not trying.

"No," Alec muttered his eyes hidden. The kid hadn't been himself lately plus Mole heard the resignation in his voice and thought better than to play the part of the drill sergeant today.

"Listen kid, let's make a deal," he started with a placating tone. "You make an effort to stand up today and I'll get you some real food. Something from the outside. Your choice. What do you say?"

Alec lay unmoving. He wasn't feeling well and he didn't want to make deals, didn't want to be coerced, bribed, blackmailed, threatened or anything else. For some reason he couldn't explain, his brain wouldn't let him stand up. Something took over and his reaction was beyond his control. It embarrassed and frightened him and he just didn't know how to overcome it. Didn't know how to ask for help. Didn't know how to explain it.

"Hey, I got all day for this," Mole snorted, hating the fact that he was being completely ignored and two could play at this stubborn game.

Alec uncovered his eyes and glared at the lizard man. A mixture of hatred and resentment flickered in his eyes. Then with a huff, as if he made up his mind on something, he rolled onto his stomach and crawled towards the wheelchair using his left side to push and pull himself along the floor. Mole saw the determined and pissed look in the kid's eyes and knew his pitch didn't go over well but at least Alec was moving. The transhuman hoped the kid's anger would get him half-way into that chair. Alec set his mouth into a thin line and reached up and hooked on to one of the padded arms. He tried to haul himself up but with only half a body to work with he couldn't get balanced and he kept tipping over. After a few minutes of effort, he was panting and sweating, no closer to getting into that chair than before and he lay there ultimately defeated.

"My deal is still on the table, if you'll take it," Mole said, not ready to give up so easily. It didn't take long for the humiliation on Alec's face to turn into something else.

"F*ck -you," Alec sneered menacingly and Mole was taken aback at the acid dripping from each word. They eyed each other warily until Alec grabbed the chair and flipped it over spitefully. The lizard man slowly pulled his unlit cigar from his mouth, realized his conciliatory tone was the wrong approach and maybe drill sergeant wasn't such a bad idea.

"Well soldier, you're gonna stay on that floor for a long time 'cause I ain't picking you up like a baby and putting your ass in that chair," Mole said squarely. He could almost hear the kid's teeth grinding and the lizard man thought Alec might snap his jaw if he didn't ease up.

"Fine…*sshole," Alec hissed and began to crawl towards the door. The transgenic was willing to drag himself back to his room without anyone's help except Mole wasn't about to let him off the hook so easily. The transhuman strode past him, grabbed the door handle and clicked it shut, closing off Alec's escape route.

"We're going to try it my way now," Mole said seriously and crossed his arms over his chest.

"…c-can't ma-make me…" Alec stuttered nervously. His eyes darted around the room trying to find shelter away from the lizard man, afraid Mole was going to stand him up forcefully.

"We'll see about that," Mole growled and then saw the knot of panic growing in Alec's eyes and decided not to push too hard. Instead, he sat back and waited for the kid's next move.

Alec's mind was reeling, looking for a way out when he realized the transhuman wasn't coming for him. The lizard man just stood there, like a statue and there wasn't a thing Alec could do about getting back to his room. There wasn't a damn thing Alec could do about anything and that's the moment his rage burned through his fear and his world began to unravel, completely and unequivocally.

The transgenic's eyes darkened dangerously. He crawled back towards the weights lined up against the wall, all the while grunting out unintelligible curses. He ripped at the items furiously and flung them around the room. Each toss was punctuated by a ferocious growl until Alec's face was reddened by the effort and his throat raw.

"That's it, get it all out," Mole roared dramatically. The lizard man wasn't backing down and Alec's fury choked back his words until he could only scream to express how much he hated Mole for being so strong, for being so sure of himself and for not being so f*cking crippled and useless. When he ran out of things to throw, Alec took his anger out on the floor, ripping the mat aside and slamming his fist into the concrete over and over again.

"Stop that," Mole barked authoritatively but Alec paid him no heed and the transhuman was certain the kid wouldn't stop until either the floor caved in or his hand shattered. The veins on Alec's face and neck threatened to burst and sweat was slipping off him in rivers. Mole marched over, reached down and grabbed the kid's fist. "You're gonna hurt yourself," he ground out.

Alec looked up, flushed and shaking. His mouth twisted into a hateful smirk. "T-T-Too late," he said and then let out a hollow laugh and Mole saw the hopelessness wash over Alec's features and the transhuman knew there was nothing he could do to stop the impending meltdown.

Alec yanked himself out of Mole's hold before angrily propelling himself around the room, spewing curses, grabbing items off the floor and launching them at the transhuman who easily deflected and evaded these harmless missiles. Mole watched coldly but on the inside, his chest felt like it was being squeezed by a vise. The lizard man stared at the out of control transgenic and it was killing him to see the kid suffering like this but he reined in his emotions and waited. He waited until Alec eventually ran out of steam and lay desperately panting on the floor. Mole steadied himself then crouched down in front of Alec and pulled the kid's writhing form into a sitting position. Alec was breathing heavily, his eyes shooting Mole a murderous glare. The lizard man thought darkly about that old line, 'if looks could kill'. But the only one bleeding was Alec. The kid was leaking every emotion onto that floor as if he had been cut wide open.

Mole had learned that emotions were not a soldier's best friends. Emotions clouded your judgment and lead to mistakes. Manticore taught them how to control them and not let them take over. But Alec couldn't do that right now and Mole knew it was best if the kid got all these toxic feelings out before they ate him alive.

"Done yet?" Mole asked calmly.

"Nuh," Alec managed to grunt, then reared back and spit into the lizard man's face. Mole felt the fury rolling off the kid.

"You wanna be mad at old Mole," he yelled down at the squirming transgenic. "No problem. I can take it." Alec gave him no warning before he fisted his left hand and began punching the transhuman, striking him in the chest and arms. While the lizard man could have easily overpowered Alec, he held him loosely; allowing him to strike repeatedly until the kid's strength dissipated and Alec could hardly raise his arm. The kid finally turned away in shame.

"It's all over now." Mole said in a gentle voice but his words only served to ignite a dark fire in Alec's eyes.

"N-not, n-n-never over," Alec yelled savagely and Mole felt the stabbing pain of the meaning behind these words. They hurt him more than any punch the kid could have inflicted on him. Pain washed over Alec and he tried to speak, tried to let Mole know exactly how he felt.

"I…m…not…not, c-c-can't…out…." Alec 's face darkened as his frustration grew. "Ughh…uck." Alec yelled and then lashed out at himself, slapping his face repeatedly. "S-S-Stupid…ugh…." Mole grappled with the transgenic until he had latched firmly onto the kid's wrists, putting an end to the assault. Alec grunted and panted and tried get himself out of Mole's hold. When he realized he couldn't, he pushed himself away, falling back to the floor. Mole quickly pulled Alec towards him and the transgenic calculatingly used the momentum to launch himself forward and head-butted the lizard man in the face.

Mole's head snapped back sharply and after a few beats, blood came gushing out of his nose. The transhuman blinked away his surprise and the exploding stars. He swiped at the blood leaking down over his mouth before glaring back at Alec. The transgenic had that insufferable smirk plastered across his face.

"Why you little…I should kick your *ss," Mole growled, spun Alec around and pulled the transgenic to his chest. Alec cursed, bucked and fought like crazy but Mole gave him no margin of maneuver and Alec couldn't break away.

"Ugh…kick…your…*ss," Alec echoed back tauntingly. _I don't think so _thought the lizard man and instinctively squeezed the kid tighter.

"You give?" Mole growled and thought grimly that Alec felt like a squirming pile of twigs. The lizard man's thoughts were interrupted when Alec whimpered and gasped for air and Mole realized he should have gone easier on the kid. The lizard man loosened his hold and Alec fell back into him and stopped struggling to get away. With that, the transhuman was certain the kid's tantrum was finally over. He was convinced of it when Alec slumped across his legs. He was positively certain as he listened to the transgenic panting desperately, unable to catch his breath. Mole let down his guard convinced it was all over until the blasted kid bit down viciously into his forearm and refused to let go.

"Mother******," Mole yelled hoarsely and shoved Alec to the floor before grabbing hold of his bleeding limb. The transgenic lay in a damp heap, gulping down air like a fish out of water. Mole rocked back and forth to ease the burning pain in his arm that throbbed in time with the dull ache from his nose. He looked at Alec's motionless form. They stared at each other, neither one backing down by looking away.

"Give?" Alec rasped derisively and saw the stunned look on the Mole's face. Mole carefully considered the transgenic lying before him. He had to give it to the kid, Alec had fought him with everything he had and never gave in. The transhuman couldn't recall anyone bringing him to his knees in a clean fight, let alone a transgenic. Mole sighed deeply and his gaze softened.

"Anything…" Mole replied and saw the kid's smirk dissolve into confusion. "I'd give anything to have you stand next to me…shoulder to shoulder on the battlefield."

It was Alec's turn to be taken aback when he heard the sincerity in the lizard man's voice. Suddenly, the transgenic felt a flush of guilt for lashing out at the transhuman but mostly, he was deeply ashamed because Mole might never get what he wanted. Alec bit into his bottom lip and folded into himself as he turned away.

"S-so-sorry," the young transgenic whispered towards the ceiling and Mole felt his own unease at how he handled the situation. No one should make Alec do anything he didn't want. It wasn't fair.

"You got nothing to be sorry about, "Mole said as he got up, shuffled towards the wheelchair, righted it and pushed it next to Alec. The kid was deathly still; eyes pensive and apologetic.

"I'm the one who should apologize," the lizard man said softly. "I shouldn't have…" Mole muttered remorsefully. They stared at each other, each of them silently regretful until Mole extended his arm. Alec eyed him for a long moment. Mole was his friend and fellow soldier and he deserved better than what he got today.

"Deal," he whispered softly then reached up and sluggishly clasped Mole's hand. The lizard man gripped him tightly and nodded back. Alec felt his fear thumping loudly in his chest and before he lost his nerve he breathed, "Ge'me Chinese." It was Mole's turn to look back in confusion and then understanding.

"Chinese?" he asked tentatively not wanting to overreact. Alec pursed his lips and gave Mole a small nod. The large lizard man knelt down and pulled Alec into a sitting position. The young transgenic sagged with exhaustion. His clothes were rumpled and soaked. His hair was matted and sticking out every which way. His eyes were wide and frightened and his mouth worked to control his breathing.

"You sure?" Mole asked almost afraid to make a move. Alec nodded once again and Mole saw the panic taking over the kid. "Nothin's gonna happen," Mole murmured and held him tightly. "Keep your eyes on me, okay?" Mole requested and Alec s breath stuttered. "We'll do it together…nothin's gonna happen," he shushed and waited for Alec's acknowledgment. The kid nodded once but his eyes betrayed him. Alec was fighting his body and the conflicting thoughts running through his brain; moments ago he hated Mole for being whole and strong and sure and now it was everything he needed the transhuman to be.

"Just breathe through it…old Mole won't let anything happen." Alec clutched weakly at Mole's jacket. The lizard man leaned in and wrapped his strong hands around the kid's biceps and hauled him up slowly. He gave Alec ample opportunity to stop this at any time. But the young transgenic didn't.

"See, we're standing…together." Mole whispered breathlessly and the kid nodded into his shoulder, eyes closed, breaths ragged . Alec was standing despite his fear and Mole swelled with an indescribable feeling. The transhuman thought solemnly that this was no kid. This was no mere survivor. This was a fighter who had the courage of ten soldiers. The lizard man pulled the trembling transgenic closer and felt the heart of a warrior drumming against his chest. A moment later, he felt his own heart beating in time with the throbbing pain in his arm and face and Mole smiled knowing he had never been prouder of the little shit.

...


	4. And the skies opened up

Whatever it Takes – And the skies opened up

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA~DA**

Mole walked into Alec's room with a triumphant smile. The transhuman was making good on his promise and held a large paper bag filled with cardboard containers. The smell of Chinese food wafted into the room and caused Sketchy to sniff the air and smile deeply. Mole glanced around the room for Alec and Joshua.

"They'll be back soon," Sketchy answered the unspoken question and returned to preparing the place settings. Mole marched over to the table and dropped the bags in the center. He had brought enough food for the four of them.

"Alec, Joshua, dinners on," the transhuman bellowed and rubbed his hands hungrily. A few moments later Joshua pulled open the door and maneuvered Alec's wheelchair into the room and by the table. The transgenic's hair was still damp but neatly combed and he wore a turtle neck and jeans in lieu of his usual sweatpants and hoodie.

"Well, look at you all dressed up," Mole teased. "You going to the prom, Princess?"

Alec looked up and flashed Mole an impish grin. "Better than that…some g-girlie lizard…is buying dinner." Joshua and Sketchy howled appreciatively.

"Yeah, sticks and stones…" Mole groused and looked at Alec with a fondness that belied his gruff exterior. A few days ago he was ready to kill the kid and now, they were going to sit down to a king's meal sporting their battle wounds; Mole with a bandage on his forearm and a swollen nose and Alec with his bruised and skinned knuckles.

"Can I…" Alec waved his hand toward the large chair by the window. Sketchy didn't have to hear the words to know what his friend wanted. It was Alec's favourite spot. The young man automatically grabbed some pillows from the bed and placed them on the chair before Joshua carefully moved Alec over.

Alec squirmed to get comfortable and Joshua sat when he was certain his friend was settled. The dog man sniffed at the containers and licked his lips eagerly. Sketchy and Mole took the two remaining chairs and looked at each other giddily before they pounced on the food.

It didn't take long for the three of them to devour the contents of the cardboard boxes. Mole and Sketchy sat back, rubbed their bellies and enjoyed the feeling of fullness. Joshua glanced over at Alec's plate and frowned at the food which remained. Alec often told him how food didn't taste right, how he was never hungry and if he ate too much, he could feel it all coming up. Joshua knew this but he still worried, especially lately. The medics had warned him Alec wasn't eating enough but the dog man had a sense that something more was wrong. Alec was getting better with his fine motor skills and speech but he didn't sleep well, he tired easily and often zoned out. Joshua reached over, grabbed a piece of the General Tao Chicken from Alec's plate before winking at his friend and stuffing the entire morsel into his mouth. It was a game they played when Alec first started to eat on his own; Alec would eat after Joshua had taken a mouthful. Joshua had guessed it was a way to make it look like Alec had eaten more than he really had but if it got a few more bites of food into his friend than Joshua was all for it.

The transgenic looked back at Joshua and smiled affectionately. Alec knew how much Joshua worried about him. He wanted to put his friend at ease. He reached out with his left hand and grabbed the chopsticks which rested unused next to his plate. He carefully positioned the slender sticks between his fingers and tested them before reaching out to slowly snare a piece of chicken. Sketchy and Mole watched, quietly cheering Alec on. The transgenic delicately balanced the piece of chicken and slowly brought the chopsticks towards his mouth. All eyes were on him and all breaths were held expectantly. Alec's hand started to shake slightly, his eyebrows knotted together in concentration. His mouth was set into a thin line with the effort of trying to keep his hand steady. Alec swallowed thickly before he continued to bring the chopsticks closer. His eyes focused completely on the piece of chicken and they practically crossed as it neared his mouth. Alec could feel his concentration slipping and he leaned forward quickly before shoving the sticky morsel into his mouth.

Mole, Sketchy and Joshua cheered and Alec smiled as he put the chopsticks down. He glanced over at the dog man, leaned back and hoped this would appease him. A few minutes later, Sketchy and Mole cleared the table and left quietly. They had tried to make conversation with Alec but his gaze was held by something outside the room and the transgenic was no longer responding to their questions. Joshua moved by his friend and noticed the slight bulge at the side of his mouth. The dog man grabbed a napkin and held it by Alec's mouth. The transgenic never looked up he just opened his mouth and let the piece of chicken slip into the napkin.

"It's ok," Joshua murmured and ran his hand through Alec's hair gently. Alec didn't acknowledge his friend. He continued to stare at the darkening sky and to watch the bloated and angry clouds. A distant rumble was warning enough for the residents of Seattle to head indoors before the skies opened up. It was a warning for all of what was to come.

**DA~DA~DA~DA**

Sketchy knew there was something off with Alec as soon as he picked him up for their morning exercises. They started their routine anyway but it was clear Alec was having a hard time today.

"You okay to go on," Sketchy asked and studied his friend.

"S-S-S-Smells…funny," Alec replied tiredly and Sketchy sniffed at the air trying to decipher a specific odor.

"I don't smell anything," he replied and watched as the transgenic flapped his hand weakly. "Do you wanna go back to your room?" He offered.

Alec stared at the window for a long time and Sketchy wasn't sure if he had zoned out. He was about to repeat his question when Alec blinked owlishly and waved his hand dismissively which Sketchy took as his cue to continue. Unlike other days, there was no banter between them and Alec was sluggish and weak, letting his friend do all the work. At the end of their first round of exercises, Sketchy decided Alec didn't have it in him today and ended the session. The young man lay down next to Alec allowing the transgenic to rest quietly.

"T-T-T-Toast," Alec whispered lethargically and Sketchy turned to look at him. Alec's eyes were glassy and his hand was brushing over his scars compulsively.

"What?" Sketchy asked concern twisting on his face. Alec never asked for food.

"Burnin'," Alec said and scrunched his face then moved his hand down, fingering the hem of his t-shirt repetitively.

"Alec, what's wrong?" Sketchy asked and slid closer to his friend. Alec grunted and pushed away, lack of recognition in his eyes. His head jerked to the side, his eyes widening in fright.

"S'burnin'," he slurred and began to tremble.

"It's okay, Alec. I'm gonna go get someone," but Alec's hand darted out and clutched at Sketchy's sweater.

"N-N-No," he breathed fearfully, his mouth twisting as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Alec, what's wrong?" Sketchy implored and watched as Alec tried to speak but no actual words came out and his breathing became labored and guttural.

"Shit, shit, shit…"Sketchy cursed. "Joshua…Mole…someone, get in here, quick….shit," he watched as Alec made tapping motions but his eyes held no real awareness as if he was on autopilot and his body was under someone else's control.

"Joshua, Mole, get your asses in here." Sketchy yelled. "Alec…Alec, please…listen to me…Alec, can you hear me?" All he got in response were unintelligible half words and tapping. Alec was all mixed up and it scared the hell out of Sketchy and still no one else had come in. The young man tried to pry Alec's fingers loose but even in his weakened state Sketchy couldn't extricate himself and then with one huge gulping breath, Alec stilled.

"Alec?" Sketchy looked at his friend alarmed at the abrupt change and then Alec's eyes darted from side to side, his breaths came in quick pants. "F*ck…"Sketchy huffed realizing what was about to come next. Alec's muscles clenched violently and his eyes widened then rolled back into his head and his arms and neck twisted painfully and his whole body was jerking and bucking uncontrollably. Alec kept slamming forcefully into the rubber mats on the floor as if an electric shock was running through him. Sketchy tried to protect his friend, tried to cushion his head from the floor allowing his hand to act as a barrier. Alec's breathing was harsh, throaty like nothing Sketchy had ever heard before.

"Shit…shit…Alec…please…shit…hell…someone, HELP…" Sketchy heard the pounding of boots and the door swing open and he turned and saw Mole standing there, watching in horror.

"Get the medic," Sketchy shouted above the din of Alec's gasps and body thudding into the floor but Mole just stood there and Sketchy repeated his order," Get some f*cking help," and turned back to Alec once he was sure Mole had done what he was told.

"Alec…Alec…help is coming…hang in there buddy…Alec…" But Alec was unhearing and continued to slam violently against the floor, his jaw clenched tightly. His breath was strangled and he gurgled and choked against the red liquid pooling in his throat.

The medic rushed in with Mole following closely behind. He ran to Alec's side immediately and when he saw the distress the young transgenic was in, he hurriedly grabbed Alec at the arm and hip and pulled him onto his side, allowing the blood to dribble out of the side of his mouth.

"How long?" The medic questioned Sketchy while watching Alec's movements.

"I don't know…maybe…I guess…20 seconds…I don't know…" Sketchy stuttered worriedly. The medic looked at his watch, counting out the seconds, seemingly oblivious to the plight of the young transgenic and Sketchy couldn't contain his fear any longer.

"Do something, for god's sake," he choked out unable to watch his friend in such a state.

"We can't stop it. It has to run its course," the medic tried to explain and then placed his hand under Alec's head. "It's almost over. It's ok, I'll do that, you can step back now. You did good." But Sketchy shook his head and refused to leave his friend's side.

And then, just like it started, the seizure ended and Alec sagged bonelessly into the floor, his eyes fluttering and his breaths coming in huge, terrifying gulps.

The medic looked up at Mole. "Get a pillow or something we can put under his head." The transhuman ran out and returned quickly with an arm full of pillows. The medic placed one under Alec's head and one behind his hips to keep him on his side. "Did something happen? Did he hit his head?" The medic asked Sketchy.

"No, no, nothing like that. He was all mixed up, talking nonsense. I decided to stop...the exercises but nothing happened..." Sketchy said worriedly and looked down at Alec who was utterly helpless. The transgenic was still suffering the aftereffects of the electrical storm in his brain, had lost control of his body and lay there pants soaked and muscles trembling. Sketchy reached out and held on to Alec's hand and used the hem of his t-shirt to wipe away the sweat and blood from his friend's face.

"It's okay, buddy…you're going to be okay," he whispered down to Alec.

But things couldn't be further from the truth. Alec wasn't okay and a few seconds later the young transgenic was breathing hard, emitting the same guttural sounds as before, eyes flitting from side to side and Sketchy looked up fearfully at the medic.

"It's happening again…," and before the young man could finish his sentence Alec clamped down on his hand and began another round of convulsions.

"Keep him on his side," the medic commanded. "I'll be right back," and ran out of the room shouldering past Mole.

Sketchy's hand was being crushed by the strength of Alec's grip and the young man tried to stifle the groan caught in the back of his throat. Mole appeared suddenly and managed to pull Alec's hand away. The lizard man allowed Alec to clasp onto his arm and made sure Alec wouldn't roll onto his back. Sketchy sat back on his heels, panting and staring helplessly at his friend.

The medic ran back into the room with a syringe and knelt beside Mole. The spasms that gripped Alec seemed to go on longer than the previous ones and the medic had no choice but to wait for the firestorm in Alec's brain to subside. When it did, the transgenic released his hold on Mole and sagged lifelessly back into the mats. The medic prepared the needle before looking over at the transhuman.

"Hold him steady." Mole nodded and steadied Alec who was shaking and trembling. The medic reached over and pulled down the edge of Alec's sweatpants, swabbed the skin and then slid the needle into his hip muscle, pushing the plunger down steadily all the while watching Alec. Once the medication had emptied from the syringe he crept over and felt for Alec's pulse point and timed his heart rate. The transgenic groaned between gasps but otherwise showed no signs of awareness. Sketchy crawled back towards his friend.

"He's going to be okay, right?" He asked worriedly and stared at the medic. The medic didn't prognosticate either way. He rolled Alec onto his back and checked his mouth for the source of the bleeding.

"He bit his tongue," the medic advised and looked at Sketchy reassuringly. "It just a little cut but it can bleed a lot. It'll be fine." The medic continued his evaluation by pulling up Alec's eyelids and checking his pupils. Alec weakly tried to grab at the hands holding his eyes open but kept missing. He tried to turn away from the light invading his senses which was causing him pain. Every part of him seemed to be on fire especially his brain and he just couldn't think straight or understand what was going on. He tried to tell them the pressure in his head was unbearable but the words came out garbled and the pain kept building. He couldn't hold back the scream that was clawing its way up his chest except his throat closed suddenly, choking back any sound and robbing him of breath. Alec felt himself go rigid; his muscles twisted and recoiled from whatever was trying to tear his head apart. A rushing sound filled his ears and an explosion of light and pain filled his head and he couldn't understand how he could have been struck by lightning when there were no clouds above.

...


	5. Surrender

Whatever it Takes – Surrender

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**~DA~DA~DA**

Mole lumbered past Sketchy for what seemed like the hundredth time. Minutes ago the medics had ordered him and the Ordinary out of the rehab room. The transhuman left reluctantly and had to practically drag Sketchy from the Alec's side. Once outside, the young man's legs gave out and he slid down to the floor where he sat with his back to the wall, clutching his knees, head hung low and trying to hold himself together.

The tension and worry storming through the Mole's veins had the opposite effect and he couldn't seem to stand still. He paced, marching heavily, hands clenching, itching to grab onto to something including whatever had taken hold of Alec and crush it into dust. The lizard man turned his head towards the door when his sensitive hearing picked up on now familiar sound of Alec's body slamming against the mats. He closed his eyes and tried to push away the images of twisted limbs and frightened eyes but the muffled sounds coming from beyond the door made it impossible.

The transhuman tramped back and forth angrily, wanting to stay and run away all at the same time but it was the sound of Alec's horribly whimpered breaths that stopped him dead and Sketchy looked up at him pitifully; eyes wide and puffy and Mole had no idea what to do. Never before had he felt this helpless. The transhuman ran his hand over his face hoping this gesture alone could wipe this whole shitty day into oblivion. It didn't and he stood there feeling powerless because no amount of wishing would do Alec or anyone else a damn worth of good right now.

**~DA~DA~DA**

A sour smell overpowered me as I ran into the rehab room. Alec was flopping around on the floor like a fish out of water. His eyes were wild, his lips and chin smeared red making his skin look even more pale if that was possible. One medic was holding a syringe, waiting on something to happen. The other medic got up quickly and came to me with his hands up to stop my forward progress.

He started speaking but l couldn't hear a damn thing. My heart was clawing its way up my throat as Alec started to whimper and then his breathing stuttered deep in his chest and the medic by his side injected him with the medication. My hearing finally kicked in.

"He's demonstrating signs of status epilepticus," the medic before me tried to explain. "We have to stabilize him or it could be dangerous." My head jerked towards him.

"What does that mean?" I asked afraid of the answer. The medic looked back at Alec and watched as he started to get his breathing back under control.

"He's having multiple seizures, back to back. We need to get them under control or he could suffer brain damage or worse." He must have seen the shocked look on my face and how I was no longer registering his words. He grabbed me by the arms and turned me so I couldn't see Alec.

"Max, we need help on this one." The medic said forcefully. I nodded my head dumbly.

"He's not presenting the classic symptoms. The first dose didn't do anything. We just administered another one and we're hoping it will work but if it doesn't… we're running out of time. Call Logan. We need his contacts, now. Do you understand?"

I felt my head nodding, but my feet were cemented to the floor. I turned back and watched Alec shaking and trembling, torn between going to him and calling Logan.

"Call Logan. Now Max." The medic yelled and that finally got me moving towards the door. I looked back one last time. Green eyes stared back at me. They were dark and lost, just so lost…I tried to recall what the medic had told me but it didn't really matter. I felt like a coward leaving him there by himself and I ran out of the room and to the command centre to call for help.

**~DA~DA~DA**

They finally stabilized Alec with the third dose. The medics had no idea how long the medication would last. We brought Alec back to his room, cleaned him up and hooked him up to some IV's and machines. Alec was somewhat alert although terribly weak. Usually, sleep or unconsciousness followed a seizure thus allowing the brain to recover. However, Alec never lost consciousness between seizures and neither the medics nor the doctors understood how this was possible. A phone line had been hooked up directly into Alec's room to allow instant communication with the doctors on the outside. The medics monitored Alec closely and thought it best if we stayed out of the room. Mole, Sketchy and I moved towards the door but Joshua was immoveable. The medics tried to explain that there was nothing we could do for Alec. That we need not worry, they would watch over him and he was under the best care possible. Joshua did not argue and there was no forcefulness or resistance in his stance only absolute determination and strength.

"Was Joshua's bullet…," he said as a way of explanation and stroked Alec's forehead. Alec's eyes fluttered open, dazed and exhausted.

"All this...not supposed to be Alec's." The dog man said in a low voice and glanced at the IV's and machines. "Alec didn't get a choice…" he stated sadly. "Joshua has a choice. Not leave Alec alone. Joshua stay." He looked at us resolutely and everyone knew no amount of force or reason would dislodge him from Alec's side.

**~DA~DA~DA**

Alec's reprieve lasted only a couple of hours and then the whole cycle started again. Despite everything the medics and the docs were doing, the seizures were more powerful the second time around and they feared for Alec's life. We didn't have any diagnostic equipment and without a scan or an MRI, it was impossible for the medics and doctors on the outside to pinpoint the cause much less a more effective course of treatment. They finally stabilized him when a different medication was applied. One that Mole and Joshua had to get on an improvised supply run made in record time.

Maybe that's why the medics relented and allowed us back into the room. Maybe they were losing hope. We could see that Alec was getting weaker. His body was under constant duress, unable to rest and fighting against the multiple seizures.

When I came back to relieve Mole an hour later, it hit me. All the little things I had noticed that seemed off suddenly started to fall into place. Alec hadn't given up, far from it. He was still fighting – hard, but there was something different.

What gave it away was the stupid hat. The one Alec hated so much. The one he always pulled off as soon as Sketchy left the room. He was wearing it, willingly.

Alec had called Sketchy over after he saw how forlorn his friend was. I recalled how Sketchy's eyes lit up when Alec asked for one of his hats. The young man ran off hurriedly. He was on a mission to get something Alec needed, wanted. He returned with three knit hats and asked Alec which one he wanted. Alec just stared at his friend, never looking at the hats. His voice was raw but he managed to rasp out, "Your favourite one."

Sketchy smiled, the first genuine smile in a long time. The young man took hold of the now familiar hat and helped Alec pull it over his head. Alec slid back into the pillows with a slight quirk of his mouth and eyes filled with a profound sense of satisfaction. That's when I understood it. In his own way, Alec was trying to comfort those he cared for most. He stared back at me knowing I had caught on to him. He had nothing but gratitude in his eyes. He signaled for me to approach and I did so with trepidation. I leaned down and took his hand in mine.

"If anything…" he sighed and I felt my eyes cloud over at the tone of his voice. "Take care of Josh..."

"Nothing's gonna happen." I choked out stupidly. I wasn't fooling anyone including myself and against my wishes, I felt a tear leaking out. Alec reached up and swiped at the drop slipping down my cheek and then his mouth twisted on one side.

"Didn't know…you cared…," he strained tiredly.

"You're such a jackass," I barely managed to get out and he rewarded me with a sly smile.

"That's my Maxie," he whispered lightly and reached up to touch my hair. His gaze lingered a few moments longer and then he let his arm drop down. He blinked up at me and I interpreted his look as resignation and it scared me.

"What is it?" I asked and tightened my grip on his hand. He squeezed back.

"I know…you'll do…what's best..." He said as confidently as he could. He was placing his life in my hands and the faith he had in me touched my soul deeply. I thought of all times I doubted myself and still did. Maybe, he saw the ever present questions on my face and he tried to quell my fears.

"I…trust…you," he managed to breathe out so lightly that I needed my transgenic hearing to catch it. That's when it all came together. Alec accepted his fate no matter the outcome. He willingly submitted himself to the medics, the doctors, to us…to me. He was at peace, truly and completely.

I realized this was our Alec and he had always been with us. Different parts of him showed up on different days but put it all together and he was truly ours. He was ours because we poured our hearts and souls into him. We watched over him, comforted him, cheered him and understood him. We had seen him at his worst and at his best. The warmth in my heart blossomed into a wild fire and I didn't know whether I could keep my composure. I leaned down and kissed his forehead and absentmindedly rubbed his chest. To my relief his eyes slid shut.

It was as if he had surrendered himself to me, allowing me to be his strength and hope. I stared down at him, stared down at my responsibility. Rather than weighing me down, I was liberated knowing he trusted me unconditionally. All my doubts slipped away and I knew I would do whatever it took to make things right for him.

**~DA~DA~DA**

A third crisis ensued a few hours after the second one. Things were getting critical. We couldn't let this go on much longer. We couldn't let Alec go through this again. Joshua, Sketchy and myself followed the medics into the command center. They were communicating with Logan and the doctors, planning their next move.

Back in the room, Mole sat with Alec recounting some tale and stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Alec's eyes were closed and his breathing had evened out. The lizard man assumed the kid had finally given up the fight and was sleeping. Mole tentatively reached out and palmed Alec's forehead. He felt the transgenic lean into his touch before sluggish green eyes slit open and peered up at him. Mole removed his hand quickly.

"Thought you were sleeping," he explained sheepishly. Alec stared back, no comeback at the ready. The transgenic blinked a few times and then sighed.

"What happened next?" He asked weakly. It was Mole's cue to continue. The transhuman really didn't have the heart to talk about his exploits but the kid had asked for the story of his Sub-Saharan ops. The lizard man picked up where he had left off describing the scorching days and frigid nights. How he slept on the sands dunes and how he knew where to dig for water. At one point, Mole noticed Alec staring at the window with a faraway look in his eyes.

"I wanna look…outside," Alec whispered. Mole imagined all this talk of the desert and ops sparked some remembrance in Alec. The lizard man walked over to the window and pulled on the draw string to raise the horizontal blinds.

"That better?" He asked and turned back to look at the transgenic. Alec thought for a moment.

"Can't see much from here," he rasped. The lizard man looked out at the darkening sky and thought disappointingly there wasn't much to see, just more of the same old Seattle greyness.

"Tired…" Alec said and paused for a long moment. Mole quirked his eyebrow and looked back at the kid hoping that wasn't all Alec meant to say. "…of lying…in bed," he finished and narrowed his eyes pensively. "Help me…get…my lazy ass…up."

"You want to sit up?" Mole asked concerned. He saw how pale and fatigued the kid looked. Alec nodded slightly and the transhuman grabbed a few pillows from the chair before he made his way back to the side of the bed. Mole laid the pillows down and pulled Alec towards him.

The transhuman noticed the tremors taking hold of Alec and the flash of fear that passed through the kid's eyes. The lizard man wished he could make things better. He wished he could take this on for the kid. Mole felt the spasms intensifying and heard a soft moan of pain as the kid's arms snaked up and wrapped around his neck and shoulders. He waited there with Alec in his arms, allowing himself to offer the kid some comfort.

"You…think…it'll snow…again?" Alec breathed in Mole's ear. The lizard man tensed and realized Alec wanted to believe he could make it. Wanted to believe the docs and medics would find a solution for the seizures. Wanted to believe he would be around the next time it snowed. As a soldier, Mole was taught to always be straight with another soldier. It was no use beating around the bush and avoiding the inevitable.

Alec's fingers clutched at the back of Mole's jacket, holding on for dear life and Mole leaned in and held him closer. When Alec finally loosened his grip, Mole took a few extra moments to fluff the pillows not wanting to let go just yet. Then he gently laid Alec back down and the lizard man noticed the moisture dotting Alec's eyelashes. He reached up and stroked Alec's head, this time without shame.

"I sure hope so," the transhuman choked out in response to Alec's query. It was the most heartfelt thing he had ever said to fellow soldier.

...


	6. The Darkest Hour

Whatever it Takes – The Darkest Hour

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: My muse insists on writing more…she loves reading your reviews…says it inspires her

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

We had no choice. Alec needed a hospital. It had been 12 hours and 3 cycles of seizures and there was no end in sight. The medics had pumped him with all kinds of meds at doses high enough to choke an elephant. Still the seizures kept coming.

It happened again while we were in the command center, on the phone finalizing our plans with the doctors and Logan. The medics and Joshua ran back to Alec's room while I tried to focus on getting the logistics in place.

Twenty minutes later, I hung up the phone and thought bleakly that no one had come back to provide me with an update. I feared the worst as I made my way to the infirmary. Sketchy and Mole stood by the door, the worry in their eyes told me everything I needed to know. The medic came out and huffed tiredly. His usual detached demeanor replaced by concern.

"We gotta move," He said as he ran his hands through his hair. "He can't go through this again…not without proper medical attention…we've done everything we could." The resignation and helplessness was evident in his tone and it scared me.

"Everything's set-up." I confirmed finding my voice. "When can he be ready?"

The medic looked back at the room. "Give us a few minutes…wanna make sure he's stable…" His voice dropped off and he turned back to us trying to get his thoughts organized. "I'm gonna get a kit ready. Make sure we have what we need until we get to the hospital. It should take me about 10 minutes." He said and looked at his watch. "You get yourselves ready. By then we should be ready to go."

I nodded back in understanding and the medic took off towards the supply room. I was left standing there with Sketchy and Mole and we all looked at each other before I pushed the door open and stepped inside Alec's room. Joshua's back was to me. I couldn't see Alec behind his hulking frame but I could hear his whimpers. I moved closer and watched the medic as he wrapped a blood pressure cuff to Alec's arm. He looked up when he finally noticed me.

"Max, give us a few minutes…" He pleaded and tried to warn me away. The look on his face propelled me forward, needing to see for myself. I smelled something unpleasant and noticed a small pool of vomit by the side of the bed. I peered around Joshua and saw the extent of the damage. Alec's nose was bleeding and he had a streak of vomit down his chin and across his shirt. He was trembling, his breathing was rough and his eyes were dilated and darting rapidly to his left. Joshua held a washcloth, wiped at Alec's face and comforted him with soft murmurings and gentle ministrations. Big Fella never turned so I placed my hand on his back to let him know I was here. I felt a shuddering sigh reverberate throughout him.

"Let me help," I said and moved to take the washcloth from his hand. Joshua let it slip through his fingers without a fight. His sole focus was Alec and he leaned down and stroked Alec's head and hummed to him in a low voice. Alec continued to twitch and jerk showing no awareness of his surroundings. He was caught in his own world of pain and electrical impulses. I listened to Joshua's earnest expression of affection, watched as he gently swiped at the blood on Alec's face with his palm. I stood there frozen, watching and wondering if we waited too long. Wondering if it was too late for Alec.

**DA~DA~DA**

Thirty minutes later we were on our way. Joshua had finished cleaning up Alec and dressed him in layers of warm clothes and one of Sketchy's hats before wrapping him in blankets. Alec was still trembling and now had started to chatter. His core body temp was dropping. His breathing was rapid and shallow and we rigged a portable O2 tank. The medics hooked him up to an IV with anti-convulsive medication to try and keep him stable while we were in transit. I called Logan and told him we were leaving. We expected it would take at least 30 minutes as we chose the sewer exit furthest away from TC because it was in an area least like to pose any problems.

Joshua gathered Alec in his arms, talking to him the whole while and explaining what was going on. Alec was no longer responsive except his eyes were open and flitting about. The medics explained this was another type of seizure.

Joshua held him like precious cargo, making sure his movements didn't jolt Alec or cause him any additional pain or suffering. Sketchy walked next to Joshua holding the O2 tank and IV bag. Mole was point man, holding his rifle tightly and leading the way. We set out just before midnight, the only sounds throughout our trek were the drips of water, Joshua's murmurings and Alec's moans. We stopped every few minutes, the medics needing to check on Alec.

I called Logan when we finally made it to the exit. He warned he had arrived earlier and made a sweep of the area only to find sector police stationed not too far from the sewer exit. He claimed it would be impossible to exit without being seen.

"Since when does anything go right?" I muttered angrily and looked towards Joshua and Alec.

"Max, what was that?" Logan asked over the scratchy line.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"Max, listen to me. I can drive to the next exit and scope it out. If it's clear, I'll call and then you can head out. I think it's too risky to attempt this one." Logan said and waited.

"Let me check with everyone before we change plans. I'll get back to you." I ended the call and walked back towards the medics who were huddled over Alec.

"How is he?" I asked worriedly. I could see that Alec was more agitated and Joshua was having a harder time holding on to him.

"What's the hold up?" The medics questioned as he looked up, an anxious look in his eyes. I took it he didn't want to say too much with Joshua, Sketchy and Mole around.

"We have a problem." I understated. "The sector police are stationed just outside. Logan thinks we need to get to our alternate exit." The medic looked up disbelievingly and shook his head slightly.

"We don't have time for plan B. That's at least another 30 minutes away." He rubbed at his face before continuing. "We have less than half the meds left," he said and pulled up the bag of solution from Sketchy's hands to show us. "When it runs out…" he didn't finish just looked down at Alec who was jerking harder and breathing roughly.

"Well then, our only option is to get the police away from the exit." I said and tried to think of another plan. "We need a distraction."

"I'll do it," Mole offered. "I'll run out. They'll chase after me and then you guys can go." I turned to face him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. This was something he wanted to do but it was a suicide mission.

"We can't risk you getting caught, Mole." I knew he would argue with me so I stopped him with the only thing I knew would work. "It could jeopardize this whole operation. What if they start scouring the area, send more cops? How will we make it out then? I won't let that happen. We need a less risky option." Mole chomped down on his cigar in frustration. He knew I was right and we only got one chance at getting Alec to the hospital.

"I think it has to be me." Sketchy spoke up. "I mean, I could approach them, tell them I spotted a trannie and lead them on a wild goose chase. Even if they don't believe me, there's nothing lost. They'll assume I'm crazy and throw me in the slammer for the night…yeah, nothing lost." Sketchy turned towards Alec and tried to still his twitching arm. I had to agree it wasn't a bad idea and we were running out of time.

I looked at Mole and he nodded his agreement.

"Ok, let's do this."

**DA~DA~DA**

The plan worked.

Almost.

Somewhat.

Why would it anyway?

Sketchy got the attention of the sector police. I could see him gesturing wildly, arms raised above his head outlining the size of the transhumans. He pointed repeatedly beyond the visible buildings, somewhere down the next street. The police followed him, all except for two who continued to man their post. Logan watched from his car. I heard him curse over the phone line. I kept watch from the opening trying to think how we could make this work. Mole peered up from below.

"What's the hold up," he fretted. I waved him off and kept my eyes on Logan's car.

"Can you get close enough without exposing us?" I asked into the phone and looked for some kind of cover.

"I'll park as close as I can, between the wall and the police post. You should be able to get in from the left side. But we have to make it quick." Logan suggested.

"What choice do we have?" I grumbled.

I watched as Logan positioned the vehicle about 20 feet away. It wasn't ideal but it was the best he could do under the circumstances. Logan got out and opened the back door. The medics went first. They crept towards the car and slid in lugging their supplies in the back. Joshua hunched over as low as he could and carried Alec to the car.

"Hey." I heard someone call from the other side. Damn, it was the sector police. They had noticed Logan's car where it shouldn't be. Logan looked back at me as he jogged towards the police post. He gestured down the street, trying to turn them away. Josh handed Alec to the medics before I noticed one of the cops heading for us. I pushed Joshua back towards the sewer.

"You gotta get back, Josh." He looked into the car, at Alec and let out a low whine before he scrambled back to the sewer and slid down the entrance. I got up slowly pretending I had been checking on someone in the back seat and then walked around to the passenger side. The medic quickly removed the nose cannula and shoved it into the blanket around Alec. Then he gently pulled down the hat so it barely covered Alec's eyes.

"What are you doing there, Miss?" the officer queried.

"Officer, I'm so glad we found you." I cooed and acted a little inebriated, stumbling so he turned around and looked away from the car. "We got a little lost on our way home from a party." The medics sat Alec between them to make it look like he was asleep. I prayed the cop wouldn't notice Alec's shaking.

"Your friend got turned around." He pointed to Logan and snorted. "Seems a little lost. Trust me, you don't want to be lost in this sector in the middle of the night." The officer explained and peered into the back seat.

"My friends had a little too much to drink." I explained and giggled softly drawing his attention away as I leaned on him for support. "Well, looks like he got directions," I said and jutted my chin back to Logan who was jogging back. "We'll be on our way now. Thanks for your help." I smiled graciously. Logan looked into the car and gave me a relieved but questioning look. We got in quickly and he jammed the car in gear. I looked back towards the sewer and stared at Josh and Mole peering out as we sped away.

I realized it was the first time Joshua had ever truly been separated from Alec since the shooting and I could only imagine what he was feeling watching his friend being taken away from him. Only to realize I was in the same predicament. I was away from Joshua and Sketchy and Mole, those I depended on the most. We were all scattered to the wind and I felt alone. I stared back at Alec, still insensate as the medics re-positioned the O2 cannula and pulled the hat up. It seemed like nothing had gone as planned and I prayed it was not an omen of what was to come. I gazed out the window at the blackness, hoping the night held the answer. It didn't. They say the darkest hour is just before the dawn. Funny, I felt like it was just about now. But I was wrong.

**DA~DA~DA**

We made it to the hospital without further incident. The doctors were waiting for us. We laid Alec on a gurney and they wheeled him into a room that seemed isolated from the others. The medics and the doctors stood to one side and conferred. In the meantime, Alec was stripped of his layers and fitted with a full O2 mask, pulse, BP and temperature monitors. The nurse was carefully placing electrodes around Alec's head and hooking them up to an EEG machine. The IV bag was replaced with a new one and she brought a tray to his bedside. She grabbed his arm and wrapped a tube above his elbow before swabbing a spot in the crook of his arm. She tore open some packages with a needle and some vials. Deftly, she positioned his arm between her arm and her hip, keeping it steady despite his movements and drew a few vials of blood. Feeling useless, I moved to one side and leaned in to explain to Alec what was happening. Logan came up behind me. He had not seen Alec since the seizures started and I could hear him go still, seemingly in shock at Alec's condition.

"The docs will take good care of him," he said softly.

"You hear that, Alec? Logan's here. He says the docs will take care of you." I choked on the last words as Alec jerked away. The nurse clicked on the EEG machine and I could see the needles jumping on the paper. The doctors and medics heard the scratchy noises and moved towards the bed.

"He's been in a convulsive status for almost 2 hours," the medic said worriedly. "The meds are the only thing keeping down the severity." A young doc moved to check Alec's vitals and noticed his temp was at 99.

"I thought you said his core body temp was higher than average, around 103, right?" He asked the medic who nodded in confirmation.

"That's what I mean," the medic explained. "We would expect him to be feverish, not colder." Another doctor moved to the head of the bed so he had a clear view of the site of Alec's head injury. He fingered Alec's head, feeling the scars and assessing their condition. Alec just grunted and twisted, his eyes displaying no emotion.

"The wound has healed nicely. Shows no gaps or softness. Doesn't seem to be an external injury causing this." He concluded and the others nodded.

"Something else that doesn't add up," the medic gestured and reached out and took hold of Alec's right arm. "His right side was non-functional due to the injury." The medic raised Alec's arm straight up. "Since the seizures started Alec's been able to move it where he couldn't previously." He let go of Alec's arm and it remained overhead, jerking and clenching repeatedly. "He couldn't raise his arm at all before," the medic said then pulled Alec's arm down and placed it carefully on the bed before giving it a comforting rub.

"The seizures are obviously centered around the injury site," the doctor said and reached for the EEG results spilling from the machine. He tore the strip of paper and studied it thoughtfully. The other doctors moved closer to view it as well and they gave each meaningful looks.

"The area that sustained the injury is exploding with electrical activity," the doctor explained to us and the medics. "But the other areas are almost devoid of any. Like every other thought or function has shut down." His face creased in concern.

"What does that mean?" I asked worriedly and held Alec's hand. The doctor looked up at me and I could sense his thoughts shifting, weighing the fact that I was not a doctor or a medic and that I had to be protected because I had a personal stake in all of this.

"Max, we don't know yet. We'll have to do more tests." He advised clinically. I knew he was lying to me, trying to shield me from what he was really thinking, protecting me from the awful truth. But I didn't want to call him on it because I couldn't just have my hope taken away from me. I couldn't have it end like this. I stood there slack jawed, sad, angry, in shock. I felt myself let go of Alec as they whisked him away for more tests. I never got a chance to say anything to him before he was gone. All I kept hearing were his last words to me, _I trust you._

**DA~DA~DA**

I called TC, spoke to Mole and Joshua and assured them we had made it to the hospital without a problem and the docs were already working on Alec. I didn't feel any better after speaking with them, knowing what I sensed in my heart but couldn't voice to them. Not over a phone line. Alec was brought back to the room about an hour later. Still in the same state as when he left. The doctors and medics followed shortly thereafter. They ignored Logan and I as they discussed one of the test results.

"What can you tell me?" I asked hopefully as I stepped forward to interrupt them.

"Max…" the doctor started.

"Please, don't spare me," I begged. "Just tell me what you know." My eyes were blinking wildly and I felt Logan's gloved hand squeezing my shoulder. The doctor looked down and away, unsure how to phrase what he wanted to say.

"It's not simple, Max," he started and sighed. "It's not a normal case. His body is not like a normal person. We are expecting it to act...normal except it's not." I could feel my frustration growing.

"Listen, doc." I rasped out. "I'm not a kid. Just give it to me straight." I saw him nod, acknowledging my request.

"Something we've never seen is happening here, Max. The MRI indicates that the original wound, the hole in Alec's brain is healing. Closing up. Repairing itself. That's what's causing the seizures. " My heart jumped at those words and I couldn't understand why all the long faces.

"The healing part…it's why he wasn't stuttering lately...he was like his old self...that's good right?" " I asked unsure but hoping.

"Well, all of Alec's energy is going toward healing the wound. That means other parts of his brain are turning off...shutting down. Some of these parts control vital functions." The doctor explained then looked at me seriously. "The healing process could end up killing him."

"Then just stop it." I blurted out. Hating myself for wanting a broken but alive Alec. The doctor looked down at the images he held in his hands.

"We don't know how to deprogram that aspect of his physiology. We can't just 'turn it off'. His brain won't stop until it heals itself or…" He didn't need to elaborate. "We're working on a new mix of meds. We're trying to keep the seizures to a manageable level in order to give him a fighting chance." The doctor concluded.

"What if we don't find the right mix? How long can he keep doing this?" I had to ask. I needed to know.

"A normal person wouldn't last more than 48 hours, at most. We don't know what Alec's resistance level is. We need to avoid injury to other parts of his brain and we're going into this a little blind...there are a lot of unknowns but we'll do everything in our power."

I glanced at Alec. He was alone in his own world, as was I. Never before had I felt the need for the comfort of another as I did at this very moment. I leaned back and Logan was there to support me. He held me tightly as I looked out the window. The night sky seemed gloomier than ever before. There were no stars, there was no light. There was just this death sentence hanging over Alec, hanging over all of us and the darkest hour was upon us.

...


	7. Going Home

Whatever it Takes – Going Home

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: My muse likes it here...hope you don't mind.

So, you know, I don't like using song lyrics in my fics but I'll try it just this one time. The song is Going Home from New World Symphony by Dvorak.

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

Once a path has been set, seems nothing can change it.

Maybe it was the fatigue or the desperation but my thoughts were scattered and I was looking for a way to change the course we were on. I thought back to that fateful day, when this all started and I replayed all the possible outcomes over and over again in my mind. I wanted to go back in time and have that day start all over again, say something nasty or sarcastic to keep Josh or Alec from going on that stupid supply run. I could have told them that we didn't need…what? I couldn't even recall what the run was for. I didn't know whether I should blame all this on toilet paper, coffee or hot dogs.

What did it matter now anyway? I could see the path and it seemed nothing was gonna steer us in a different direction. Not even a miracle like Alec's brain healing itself. Try as I might, I couldn't figure out a way to undo all this. 'This', was lying on the bed in front of me. 'This' was Alec convulsing and chattering and being unaware of the world around him. 'This', was being away from TC, away from Josh and Mole and Sketchy while all of our hopes were carried on the shoulders of these doctors and medics. This was all I had as I stroked Alec's cheek.

"Alec, you with me?" I asked and hoped for a response. I could tell his body was exhausted. His heart rate was at an unsustainable level as the beeps and whines from the machine attested. His muscles twisted and jumped non-stop. His skin was colorless, cold and clammy. His eyes were no longer green but a muddy mess and it felt like he was slowly leaching out of his own body. I was terrified. Helpless, because I couldn't go back and change a single thing to make this better. Morosely, I thought maybe it was always supposed to end this way. When Alec was shot, we didn't think he would survive and maybe he wasn't supposed to. Maybe we were heading towards what should have been from the very beginning.

**DA~DA~DA**

The rest of the night passed in a flurry of activity. Doctors and nurses constantly around Alec, leaving little or no room for me. They inserted a pick line to administer medication. A feeding line through his nose because IV fluids wouldn't sustain him. All this on top of the other machines already hooked up for his vitals and the EEG.

They started him on the first round of meds. One minute Alec was sweating profusely and the next he was freezing cold. He could either be jerking like he was electrified or fall still like he was paralyzed. It was obvious this cocktail wasn't working. The doctors agreed to end it quickly and so we waited for the drugs to pass out of Alec's system before they tried another mix. The nurse drew some blood and brought it to the lab for testing and for a while the room was relatively quiet. I went to Alec's side, saw he was starting to jerk again and took his hand.

"You're doing great Alec." I said and watched his eyes flicking up toward the ceiling. "Hey, don't worry, the docs know what they're doing. They'll make some adjustments and they'll be back in no time. Just hang in there, Alec." I re-positioned the O2 mask and felt his cheek. He was back to being cold. I pulled up one of the blankets pooled at his feet up and tucked it around him. I smoothed his jaw to slow down the chattering and felt the scratchy stubble beneath my fingers.

"Bet you can't wait for OC to shave this off, huh?" I teased and watched him jerk harder. I tried to calm him by rubbing circles over his chest just like Joshua had done a thousand times before. I must have done a horrible job because he started to seize again.

**DA~DA~DA**

The next day was a blur. I hadn't slept since we got here. We were now almost 24 hours into this and still no way to stop the seizures. Logan was hunched over a table, sleeping. The nurse was cleaning Alec up; he had thrown up for the third time today. She expertly moved him from one side to the other, replaced his gown, changed the sheets and pillows, placed the O2 mask over his nose and mouth and had him back on his side in no time.

I gave her a grateful look as she moved away and left him to me. Alec's breathing was pained, shallow and forced and he whimpered constantly. His eyes were barely open but you could see them moving beneath his lids. He was colder than ever. Touching him was like handling a block of ice. The doctors thought this wasn't such a bad thing because it slowed down his metabolism which might help with the seizures. Somehow, my hands didn't quite agree.

I listened to his non-stop chattering and felt guilty for feeling exhausted. I tried not to wonder about how many more combinations of drugs the docs could come up with. I tried not to consider that we had been here a whole day and nothing good had come of it. I tried not to think as I lay my head by his arm and held on to him. I tried not to feel like I was running low on hope and Alec was running out of time. I tried, I really did, that's what I told myself as I closed my eyes and felt hot tears leak out.

**DA~DA~DA**

I awoke with a start at the sound of a growl behind me. The skin on the back of my neck prickled anxiously and my hand clamped down automatically around something cold. _Alec_. I raised my head quickly, my eyes adjusting to the darkness. I could sense Logan was behind me.

"It's okay." He said to the nurse standing on the other side of the bed. Her eyes were wide and frightened and she had taken a step back. I scanned Alec and berated myself for falling asleep when I should have been watching him. Alec's breathing was labored and his eyes began moving wildly. _No, no, not another seizure_ I thought hopelessly and then I felt a heavy hand clamp down on my shoulder. I turned quickly; Joshua, Mole and Sketchy were standing behind me. I was momentarily stunned into silence, not certain if I was dreaming. A second later, I was awash in relief at the realization that my friends were with me. I stood up quickly and hugged Joshua. When I pulled back I saw the hurt in Joshua's eyes and I felt a deep regret at having left them behind.

"How?" I managed to eke out as I clasped Joshua's arm and swallowed all the mixed emotions coursing through my body.

"There was no way we could hold him back," Mole explained and looked dolefully at Joshua. The slump in the lizard man's shoulders told me he had tried to no avail. Joshua's gaze was fixed on Alec, his face furrowed with pain at the sight of his friend in such dire conditions.

"Joshua's bullet," Big Fella whispered miserably.

"You're here, now." I murmured to appease the guilt in his eyes and stepped back to allow him access to Alec.

Big Fella approached the bed cautiously, emitting a sad sound, part hum, part whine. He hesitated, unsure where he could touch Alec. His hand hovered close to Alec's face and then he leaned in and smelled Alec's hair and touched his scars tentatively.

"Alec," he breathed soulfully. The beeps on the heart monitor spiked to a worrisome level causing the nurse to look towards the machine. Alec's breathing sped up and Joshua rubbed his friend's chest and hummed to him. It didn't seem have the desired effect and Alec began to shake harder and groan. Big Fella cradled Alec's head with one hand and scooped him behind the shoulders with the other, picking Alec up lightly and pulling him into his chest. A strange quiet settled over the room and we watched as Joshua held Alec. Big Fella smiled sadly and started singing in a low and melancholic voice that we could barely make out. But it wasn't meant for our ears.

_Going Home, going home  
I am going home  
Quiet like, some still day...__  
I am going home_

The heart monitor started to relent and Joshua whispered "Good Alec" before continuing.

_It's not far, just close by,__  
__through an open door.__  
__Work all done, care laid by,__  
__never fear no more._

Joshua rubbed his cheek against Alec's head until he began to still. Big Fella sighed deeply and continued.

_Mother's there expecting me  
Father's waiting too  
Lots of faces gathered there  
All the friends I knew_

Joshua whimpered and held on to his Alec.

"Joshua not leave Alec," he murmured to no one in particular and I felt my heart clenching. Although Alec seemed completely unaware, he managed to reach up tremulously and touch Joshua's face. Big Fella smiled widely and leaned into this touch.

"Joshua stay," he croaked out and Alec dug his fingers into Joshua's hair and wouldn't let go. I could hardly see through the water in my eyes.

**DA~DA~DA**

It was the end of the second day and as the clock ticked down we knew there would be no magic cure for Alec. The doctors had tried everything at their disposal but as they had said, this wasn't a normal situation. They reviewed the results of the different combinations of medications and settled on one course of treatment. It wasn't ideal but it was all we had.

They conducted their final tests and told us the scan showed that Alec's brain was still healing but at a much slower rate probably due to the strong meds used to suppress the seizures. This was a catch 22 situation because slowing down the seizures also meant they would go on for a longer period of time and this kept Alec's body in constant distress. The seizures accelerated his heart rate, elevated his blood pressure, lowered his body temperature and depressed his breathing. At this point, there was nothing more the doctors could do for Alec and the longer we stayed, the higher the risk of being exposed.

With Sketchy's help, Joshua dressed Alec. Mole and Logan were hunched over a map plotting our return route to the sewers. The doctors and medics loaded all types of supplies and equipment into Logan's vehicle. When they returned, they conducted one last check on Alec and now it was time for us to leave. As grateful as I was, I kept thinking that our 48 hours were up and Alec was living on borrowed time.

The doctor came over to me and as heartbroken as I was, I wanted to express my gratitude to the entire staff. I started haltingly.

"I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for Alec. I know you put yourselves on the line for us," I said and looked at the other doctors and the nurse. "I know you did your utmost…" and then my tongue turned to jelly and I couldn't hide my true feelings. The doctor sensed my desperation and put his arm around my shoulder as I bit down on my lower lip and swiped at my eyes.

"Max, we're still hopeful." He said looking at me directly. "Alec is holding on and we don't know what will happen." He gave me a supportive squeeze as I felt the air catch in my throat. "You have enough supplies for a good while and we'll be available 24/7 in case you need us. We won't abandon you." He said confidently and gave me a wan smile. "You've all done a great job." He said and looked around at each of us. "Alec couldn't have received better care anywhere else." He tried to be encouraging but I wasn't sure if we were taking Alec home to heal or to die.

**DA~DA~DA**

We left in the middle of the night, same as when we arrived. Alec didn't struggle as much in his weakened state. His eyes were still flicking unawares at some spot overhead and his breathing was so shallow only the mist on the O2 mask a clue to his uneven and slow respirations. We rode in silence, our eyes on the lookout for sector police and this time, we made it to our destination without incident.

Once in Alec's room, the medics got to work setting up the equipment and stowing away the meds. Sketchy was preparing Alec's bed and Joshua sat in the chair by the window holding on to Alec. Big Fella loosened the blankets and removed Alec's hat. He sat quietly and watched his friend attentively. I could tell Joshua was trying to work something out in his head and I kept glancing over at him. Sketchy noticed it too and gave me sorrowful look. The medic moved towards Josh and told him he could bring Alec to the bed. Big Fella didn't move, he held Alec protectively and began to rock him. I held up my hand and the medic understood and left Joshua to me.

Big Fella looked between Alec and I trying to gather his courage. Alec looked so small and fragile in Big Fella's grasp and I could see how he looked worse than just two days ago. Alec's cheek bones jutted out sharply. He had purple smudges underneath his eyes. He was trembling and curled into himself. I saw him as an outsider would for the first time. And it dawned on me that Joshua was doing the same.

Joshua stroked Alec's head before looking at me and choking out, "Alec tired." It was half question, half statement. Joshua was trusting me to tell him the truth and I nodded painfully. Big Fella started to whimper miserably then he took Alec's hand and squeezed it looking for some response. There was none and so he placed Alec's hand in his mane hoping his friend would try to hold on again. Alec didn't and Joshua watched Alec's hand drop lifelessly to his chest. Big Fella nodded and took Alec's hand once more and held it against his heart. He began singing the song from the previous night, picking up where he had left off. Everyone stopped what they were doing and listened.

___No more fear  
No more pain  
No more stumbling by the way  
No more longing for the day  
Going to run no more._ _I'm just going home._

"It's okay," Joshua choked out in Alec's ear. "It's okay, if Medium Fella can't stay." Joshua's eyes filled with tears and he emitted a mournful sound that touched something deep inside me. Mole left the room. The medics turned away, unable to watch. Sketchy couldn't hold back his own tears and stood frozen by Alec's bed. I couldn't swallow the fist lodged in my throat but somehow I managed to get to Josh and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I focused on holding on to him because it was the only thing keeping me from shattering into a million, little pieces.

Not another word was spoken that night.

…


	8. Hitting the Ground

Whatever it Takes – Hitting the ground.

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: My muse had a tough week, or two...but she tried anyways...

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

A part of me thought it would be like going through this whole thing over again but in reverse. It wasn't quite like that. It wasn't like going the wrong way on a one way street and watching everything revert back to the beginning. It was more like falling, endlessly and waiting to hit the ground.

The moment Alec got shot we were so overwhelmed by the fear of losing him that all we wanted was to hang on to him no matter what. We didn't worry about consequences. We only needed him to live and we'd figure out the rest later. It wasn't so obvious now, when every breath was accompanied by a whimper, a moan and even tears. It wasn't so clear when we watched Alec slowly slipping away. It wasn't straightforward when the longer this went on, the greater the likelihood there would be damage that couldn't be reversed.

Figuring it out later didn't feel like a good plan because Alec was hurting, badly and his whimpering and chattering were hard to listen to. The medic administered more sedatives to try and ease the tension in his muscles. But the shivering didn't abate so we piled on the blankets. Warmed the liquids in the IV and placed hot water bottles beneath Alec's arms and around his groin. Trying to keep someone warm was a full time endeavor and that's when I realized how Joshua and Sketchy were so much better at this than I was.

They were both used to caring for Alec and I could sense that at some point, Alec was more open to being cared for by them. As Alec had improved and had become more independent, he wanted less and less for either me or Mole to help with the caretaking duties. Maybe he understood how uncomfortable we were or maybe, he was ashamed of having his weaknesses and vulnerabilities on display to us in particular but in the end, I understood that Joshua and Sketchy were just better at it.

Joshua had a gentle and non-judgmental approach and Alec never felt guilt or shame for not being able to wipe his nose or the food on his face or his vomit or god knows what else. Sketchy too never shied away from touching Alec whether it was to comfort him or tease him with a gentle bump and I knew Alec craved physical contact. Even before he got shot, he never avoided touching, bumping, or throwing an arm around someone's shoulders. That was precisely why deep down, I always knew he purposefully didn't move away when I punched or slapped or cuffed him in the back of the head.

Mole and I on the other hand, never had to deal with someone so helpless. It made us extremely self-conscious doing those things for Alec and I was just grateful for Joshua and Sketchy.

**DA~DA~DA**

It was six hours since we got back to TC. Six hours past what the doctors said a normal person could withstand. I kept wondering how much more he could take. As the medic explained, it wasn't the actual seizures that would kill him; it was his body giving out.

But Alec was a fighter and he had that stubborn streak in him that didn't know how to give up. It was his greatest strength and his biggest downfall and as the first glimmer of light filtered into the room, he was still hanging on. I had spent the night sitting by his side and I had to accept that he might not get better and I had to be prepared to let him go.

Each of us understood that in the logical sense but accepting it emotionally was another matter. Joshua had come to terms with it last night. Mole had left the room and hadn't returned. Sketchy was somber, heartbroken. At one point he left the room and came back carrying a radio.

"Alec hates the quiet." He explained with distant eyes, trying to keep his emotions at arm's length. Joshua nodded in agreement and Sketchy plodded towards Alec. He positioned the radio on the tray table and then looked at his friend, the aloofness melted away because Sketchy could never be distant with Alec.

"Hey buddy." He touched Alec's arm lightly and his voice softened.

"Brought you a radio so you won't have to listen to me babbling," Sketchy rasped while he fiddled with the dial. Truth be told, no one was in a talking mood and we had spent the night listening to Alec's strained breaths. Sketchy settled on something soft then looked at the medic who nodded his consent; too much noise or light might trigger a seizure but at this point it felt like we were beyond that. Still, Sketchy didn't want to make things worse and then he leaned down and told Alec if he didn't like it, we could change it or turn it off. Sketchy stood there watching, hoping but got nothing in return. His eyes clouded over in frustration and defeat and he reached over and raised the volume just a little, enough to drown out Alec's moans. Sketchy sulked away and went to stand by the window.

Joshua tilted his head as he listened to the notes and gently rubbed Alec's chest to the cadence of the song. The music had a soothing effect on everyone except Sketchy who stood rigidly, arms crossed and back to us.

Minutes went by with each of us lost in our own thoughts until Sketchy began to speak.

"It was his favourite spot," he said reflectively. Both Joshua and I looked up but Sketchy ignored us and continued to stare out the window.

"He could sit here for hours and not get bored." Sketchy said and ran his fingers over the back of the empty chair. When he turned to look at us, we could see a myriad of emotions filling his eyes.

"I never understood why. You couldn't see anything, just a bunch of rundown buildings and dirty streets." We looked out at the scene beyond the glass as if seeing it for the first time.

"I asked him what was so fascinating." Sketchy's mouth twisted into a painful smile. "You know what he said?" And although he wasn't waiting for an answer, I automatically shook my head no.

"He asked, 'how far?'..." Sketchy signaled to an abandoned building across the street.

"I didn't understand," he continued hoarsely. "Thought he was confused. I humored him...said it was about 100 feet." Sketchy swallowed thickly at the remembrance and then averted his eyes. His voice was low when he spoke next.

"Alec didn't speak for a long time. He just stared out that window." Sketchy stopped and his jaw clenched before he looked back at us.

"All he said was, 'feels like a million miles'...and the way he said it..." Sketchy shook his head. "I wish I had never asked..." He whispered and looked over at Alec, his eyes heavy with empathy.

"Now, I understand exactly how he felt...to have something so close..." His voice faltered and he walked back to the bed and rubbed Alec's arm.

"You're right here buddy," he choked out. "Not far at all…right here," and the only person he was really trying to convince was himself.

**DA~DA~DA**

Six hours became seven.

Sketchy found another station on the dial. Mole returned to the room and stood in the corner refusing to look at anyone. On the suggestion of the docs, the medic added a new drug to the IV bag mix. Alec's eyes stopped flitting around and we took this as a good sign. A sign the tremors were lessening and his brain was resting. Ten minutes later Alec seized and threw up.

Seven hours turned to eight.

Alec's lips were dry and cracked. We removed the O2 mask and dabbed them with Vaseline. We placed a warm washcloth between his teeth to allow some moisture into his parched mouth. Gratefully, it also reduced the chattering.

Eight hours turned to nine.

The room quieted when Alec's moans tapered off. I hoped it was because he wasn't in as much pain but it might have been because he was just too exhausted. Joshua dozed in Alec's chair. Sketchy's silent streak ended. He spoke to Alec in a low, even voice as opposed to his usually animated tone, stopping occasionally to peer up at the monitors. Alec`s temp was 98.8; it was dropping. Sketchy pulled Alec's hat lower and adjusted the blankets.

"We'll get you warmed up in no time," he said, took Alec's cold hand and warmed it between his own. Sketchy kept this up for about 10 minutes switching from one hand to the other. Alec's eyes slid open dully and there was none of the usual flitting in evidence.

"Alec?" Sketchy asked hopefully. Sketchy's tone unsettled us and caused the air in the room to shift.

"You with me, buddy?" He asked and watched as Alec slowly blinked his acknowledgement. I stood up and the medic moved in to check on him. Even Mole's mask of impassivity was broken and he took a few tentative steps forward, his stony façade replaced by a flicker of anticipation.

"Alec, can you hear me?" Sketchy implored. "Squeeze my hand." Alec stared back, tried to speak and barely managed a soft moan. It had been days since he was this coherent.

"It's okay, just squeeze my hand." Sketchy said gently. Alec's eyes widened and the monitors began to beep dangerously. The rush of sounds startled Joshua into wakefulness. Big Fella scrambled off the chair and was by the bed in two strides. Sketchy let go of Alec's hand moved and aside to let Joshua through.

"Alec, okay?" Joshua murmured worriedly as he looked from the medic to the monitors. Alec's breathing was shallow and rapid. He blinked up at Joshua and the mounting fear and pain in his eyes was evident.

"Alec, you need to take deep breaths. Slow, deep breaths." The medic urged but Alec was incapable of following his directive and all he could do was try to turn his head away.

"What's wrong?" Sketchy asked.

It was obvious Alec's distress was growing, the medic headed for the cabinet and returned quickly with a syringe. He grabbed hold of the tubing snaking into Alec's artery and injected the clear liquid in the pick line. Joshua spoke to Alec calmly and rubbed his chest but despite the drugs and the comforting words, Alec went rigid with pain.

"Sh…Alec. Medicine make it better," Joshua said softly but Big Fella flinched with each strangled moan. Alec's hand tried to move up towards his head but it was too unsteady and weak. Joshua understood and pulled Alec's hat off and started to rub his scars.

"Joshua make it better," he said to soothe his friend.

"Give it a minute," the medic added and watched as Alec's body eventually relaxed and became more pliant to Joshua's ministrations. In contrast the sounds from the monitors did not subside and Alec's eyes were mired in confusion and pain.

"Alec okay…Alec okay." Joshua kept repeating but it was the hint of panic in his voice that told me he didn't really believe it.

Maybe none of us did because Alec started to choke; he sputtered and gurgled and swallowed compulsively and then his face turned white as chalk. Joshua kept repeating his mantra as he pulled Alec up towards him but Alec`s eyes suddenly lost their focus and his head lolled back bonelessly. Crimson poured from his nose and red stained the sheets and pillows as hands pulled him to the side. Instinctively, I felt my body stiffen and my arms shot out towards Alec. I tried to grab him, tried to hold on to him, tried to brace us against the inevitable because we were falling fast and the world was rushing up at us and everything was spinning out of control and we were about to hit the ground.

...


	9. It's Over

Whatever it Takes – It's Over

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: My muse is getting close to the end of this one…almost there…

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

_It's over._

_Finally._

That was the only thought running through my head - _it's over -_ as the doc said his goodbyes and followed Mole out. I stood frozen to the spot, staring at them, unable to feel anything even though my head told my heart it was over.

It had begun when all hell broke loose and we couldn't understand what was happening to Alec or how to stop it. We called the hospital desperate for help and upon hearing how dire the situation was, one of the docs volunteered to come and assist. Logan rushed to pick him up and we hoped he would get here in time.

Initially, we feared something had ruptured in Alec's brain and it would be only a matter of time before he bled out. But the medic managed to stem the bleeding and it was Alec's vitals that we couldn't get under control; his BP was bottoming out, his heart rate was racing and he couldn't draw in enough oxygen to keep his lips from turning a deep purple. And then, despite all our efforts, the bleeding started again.

Alec's blood gushed out in spurts and we were horrified when we realized it wasn't just from his nose; the urine bag darkened, his gums reddened, the blood vessels in his eyes burst and his ears leaked. We scrambled to start direct blood transfusions and Joshua insisted on going first. Once he was hooked up, he refused to cede his spot, willing to give Alec his blood until he lost consciousness. Ultimately, it didn't come to that.

Much later, we understood that it wasn't Alec's brain that was bleeding; it was his body purging itself of dead blood cells. Although transgenic DNA contained the code which triggered our enhanced healing, it was the blood cells that transported the proteins and amino acids needed for the reparative process. Alec's blood was so completely depleted of these elements that his cells started dying off and his body rejected them. Alec was losing blood in massive quantities and he wasn't able to produce enough to replace it.

I looked at the floor, stained in red, evidence of everything that had transpired during that time and felt the slickness of Alec's blood drying on my hands. I remembered the feeling of complete and utter terror and how everything happened so fast and so agonizingly slow and now it was over.

It was over and I didn't know what to feel. I heard myself laugh and cry all at the same time and Joshua looked at me with soft, watery eyes. Eyes full of understanding. Eyes that told me exactly what I should feel. That's when the dam broke and I was flooded with an overwhelming sense of relief. Relief because it was finally over and Alec was still with us and he was going to be okay.

**DA~DA~DA**

Alec slept. A lot.

Almost non-stop for days. Every time his eyes fluttered open, we rushed to his side hoping he would wake and each time we were disappointed when he fell back to sleep almost immediately. Mole groused impatiently and resorted to calling him Sleeping Beauty and as anxious as I was to see for myself that he was fine, I didn't mind him taking his sweet time. Didn't mind it one bit when I watched him sleep curled up on his side with one arm tucked into his chest and his face relaxed and without a care. He deserved this respite, this quiet time, we all did.

But quiet didn't mean we lacked things to do. We continued to keep Alec warm as his temperature crept back up to normal levels. We treated and scrutinized the horrible bed sores he developed lest they got infected. Joshua was always by Alec's side tending to him, evaluating every movement and sound no matter how subtle. He knew when Alec needed ice chips or gentle messages or ointment for the sores.

The team from the hospital kept us supplied with liquid protein drinks to fill Alec's feeding tube 24/7. Alec was burning through calories at an alarming rate and he still hadn't gained back any weight.

On the third day, Alec's eyes opened for a couple of minutes. He was weak and shaky and unable to speak. We tried to get him to drink some water but he couldn't manage that and Joshua kept feeding him ice chips when he was semi-awake.

Later that day, Mole walked into the room with a paper cup. He looked at Joshua uneasily before shoving it into Big Fella's hands. It was a snow cone, red and Joshua looked bewildered.

"It's cherry…" Mole grumbled in annoyance and squirmed awkwardly under our scrutiny.

"Kid needs some sugar in his system," he groused and stomped out of the room. Behind that gruff exterior, we could tell Mole's gift had some special significance although what that was, none of us knew. What really baffled us was how he was able to get a snow cone to TC before it turned to water.

Later that night, I took my allotted shift by Alec's side when I heard a breathy sigh and saw him move restlessly. I was surprised when Big Fella didn't stir. That alone was testament to how exhausted he was. I peered around at Alec's face and noticed eyes barely slit open.

"Hey," I said and Alec blinked a few times, his lashes caked in sleep. I dampened a washcloth and cleaned him up. He sighed in appreciation but his throat was to dry to allow any sounds. I grabbed a cup and poured some water before positioning the straw by his mouth. It took him a few seconds before he sipped at it gratefully then licked his lips slowly and looked back at me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked and ran my hand down his cheek to keep him focused on me.

"Like something…furry…died in…my mouth," he grated softly and smacked his lips trying to get the taste out.

"OC is gonna have a field day scrubbing you clean," I teased and placed the straw back by his mouth. I don't know if he heard because his head tipped to the side, his eyes lost their focus and he was out again. I smiled down at him because it felt good to hear Alec's voice and I only wished he could have hung on a little longer because it was too quiet, too soon.

A few hours later, I rubbed some medicated cream on his arms to prevent cracking and blistering. I was working around the IV lines when Alec stirred.

"Couldn't keep your hands off me, huh." He croaked.

I turned to take him in, he was barely recognizable; his eyes still bloodshot and huge against his thin face. His skin the colour of sour milk in contrast to the dark stubble. His lips dry, cracked and shrunken and his hair oily and disheveled. I couldn't help thinking how haggard he looked and he must have read my expression.

"That bad, huh?" He remarked.

"You look gorgeous," I said and ran my hand through his hair to straighten it out. He let out a small huff probably meant to be a disbelieving snort.

"Laying it on a thick…must really be desperate to get in my pants." He smirked in amusement. It felt good to finally see that familiar, irascible twinkle in his eyes even if it lasted but a millisecond.

"How do you feel?" I asked seriously and then palmed his forehead to check his temp. _Cold and clammy._

"Won't be able to fight off your advances…you'll have your way with me Maxie." He answered in his usual evasive way then closed his eyes and swallowed dryly.

"The medic wants to check you out. I'm gonna see if he's up." I said and squeezed his hand.

"Not goin' anywhere." He rasped weakly. "Not when you're about to ravage me." He added with the slightest hint of a satisfied smirk on his face.

I couldn't suppress a genuine laugh because he sounded and looked so Alec-like, so familiar and annoying that I almost cuffed him. But it didn't take long for the smirk to fade and he was back to looking weak, thin and un-Alec like and I was struck with the sobering realization that he had almost died. That we almost lost him and then I would have never heard another one of his stupid comments, again. Before I could stop myself, I leaned down and brushed a kiss to his forehead.

"Whatz that for?" He slurred sleepily and confused.

"I missed you, you jackass." I said without bite. He was fading out again.

"Stay awake for me, okay? I'll be right back." Alec's hand gripped mine a little tighter, not willing to let me go even as his eyes fluttered closed.

"Anything…for…you…Ma…" He couldn't even stretch out my name to the hated Maxie before he drifted away.

I stared down at his sleeping form and was painfully aware of how young he seemed despite how old he looked. "It's okay, Alec." I whispered and stroked his scars. "It's okay." I repeated and settled back into the chair for the rest of the night.

**DA~DA~DA**

It took a few more days before Alec spent more time awake than asleep. That's when the doc came back to TC to check on his progress. Alec didn't remember him and we had to explain how we had taken him to the hospital during the worst of the seizures. The medic and the doc discussed the fact that Alec was still experiencing small seizures, zoning out and occasionally shaking. At other times Alec was confused, seemingly speaking to people who weren't in the room or answering questions that hadn't been asked. The doc and medic examined Alec and weren't too concerned about any of these symptoms. Alec's brain was still healing and it was normal according to them. Eventually, the symptoms would occur less frequently and hopefully one day, disappear altogether.

Despite his weakened state, Alec was getting restless and Mole was the only one he felt he could coerce to break him out of the room.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Mole stated nervously.

"Good ideas aren't my strong suit," Alec sighed and he saw Mole glance worriedly at the door. They looked at each other knowing Alec wasn't in any condition to be out of bed.

"Hey, can't you give a dying man his last wish," Alec said and flashed Mole a doleful look.

"You ain't dying, Princess." Mole snorted indignantly.

"I'm not?" Alec said in feigned innocence. "Great. So, there's no problem. Let's go."

"The problem is you're not supposed to be outta bed. Doctor's orders."

"I don't see a doc here and since when are you taking orders from Ordinaries?" Alec's eyes narrowed suspiciously until Mole crossed his arms and refused to dignify that question with a response.

Alec sunk back into the pillows, dejection written all over his face.

"Been locked in here so long, don't remember what fresh air smells like," Alec complained in frustration.

"You gotta be kidding me. Fresh air in Seattle?" Mole said in disbelief. " ...smells like garbage and urine," he muttered. Alec ignored the lizard man and continued his tirade.

"Can't remember what green or red or blue looks like…all I see here is prison grey." Alec said, draped his arm over his eyes and sank back into his pillows. Mole had to agree with the kid on that one. The walls in his room were a dull, depressing grey.

"Even prisoners get time outside their cells," Alec muttered pointedly under his breath and looked so miserable Mole couldn't help but feel bad for the kid. Alec peeked out from under his sleeve, saw the crack in Mole's armour and shot the lizard man his best puppy dog eyes.

"Probably right…get you in trouble…" Alec said apologetically. Mole noticed the regret in the kid's face, mumbled angrily, grabbed the wheelchair and trudged over to the bed.

"Why do I always get suckered into your stupid ideas?" Mole asked no one in particular and Alec smiled slightly but didn't bother to answer just grabbed Mole's arm and tried to pull himself up before the lizard man changed his mind. Mole carefully arranged all the wires and tubes before he took hold of the Alec and helped him sit on the bed. The kid swayed unsteadily and the lizard man was already regretting his decision to aid and abet the little shit. Alec felt Mole's hesitation and pulled himself up straighter.

"Just get me up; my ass is killing me here." Alec said slightly out of breath. Mole did as he was told and pulled Alec up, holding all of the kid's weight. Alec clenched his eyes tightly before he fell face first against the transhuman's chest.

"Told you so," Mole chastised and pushed Alec back down to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Alec breathed roughly through his nose and Mole had to steady him to keep from slipping to the floor.

"Easy, kid." Mole said and squinted at the kid's pasty face.

"Dizzy, gimme a sec…" was all Alec managed to rumble before he turned green and spewed chocolate flavoured protein drink all over Mole.

The lizard man muttered angrily and tightened his grip on the kid to keep him from falling into the murky, brown liquid at his feet. Mole wondered how so much liquid could come pouring out of that skinny ass but then he remembered the feeding tube and knew this wasn't about to stop anytime soon. The lizard man murmured a few comforting words because he felt sorry for the kid but not as sorry as he felt for himself when he heard the door open behind him.

_Perfect, just perfect._ Mole thought and wondered whether it was Max or Josh that was going to hand him his ass for this stupid stunt.

.**...**


	10. Broken

Whatever it Takes – Broken

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: I promise…almost…just about…nearly there…

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

"Anywayz…not hiz fault." Alec sputtered and fell back into the bed. He tried to spare Mole from the wrath of Joshua and later Max. The dog man pinned him with a protective glare, swung Alec's legs onto the bed and handed him a glass of water.

"Mole should know better," Joshua said loud enough for the transhuman standing outside the room to hear. Alec grabbed the cup and with a disgusted face, swished the water around his mouth and spit it back into the glass.

"Urgh…chocolate my ass…tastes like crap coming up…" Alec complained and wiped his hand across his mouth. Joshua eyed him carefully and didn't let Alec's nonchalance fool him.

"Alec, want to move too fast." Joshua speculated and watched as Alec tried to place the cup on the tray table.

"Move too fast?" Alec said incredulously. "A snail could beat me in a sprint." He grumbled, ignored Joshua's outstretched hand and shakily dropped the cup on the table.

"Just saying, maybe Alec needs a little more time." Joshua tried to explain and noticed the flicker of uneasiness in his friend's eyes. Alec leaned back and sighed tiredly.

"Is it so bad?" He asked in a low voice. "To want out for a little while."

"Not bad at all." Joshua replied. He knew what it was like to stare at the same four walls all day. Except he could get up and leave when he got a little stir crazy, Alec couldn't. Yet, despite his empathy for the transgenic's predicament, Joshua was more concerned about Alec's well being and Mole's part in all of this and he didn't want to encourage more escapades.

"Need patience, Medium Fella." Joshua said gently but Alec's thoughts were back to his failed escape attempt and all of its implications and he didn't have any fight left. _Must have puked it all up,_ he thought distastefully. Alec tugged worriedly at his bar code before he continued.

"Please, don't tell Max," he pleaded quietly. He was afraid Max would read him the riot act, ban Mole and get everyone to watch him like hawk. Joshua saw the gloom in Alec's face and he hated the fact that the transgenic didn't try to charm or scam his way out of this one.

"Joshua won't tell Max," he offered, his face softening as he automatically moved his hand towards Alec's head. The transgenic turned away avoiding the dog man's comforting gesture. Joshua stared at Alec and chalked up the uncharacteristic behaviour to his having been sick and not feeling well.

"Mess needs cleaning," Joshua said to no one in particular and moved towards the hallway to get Mole.

The transgenic bit down on his lip and closed his eyes; he couldn't seem to do anything right. More than that, he dreaded being stuck in bed with nothing to do except think about his future and what would become of him.

Alec rubbed his scars and took heed of the niggling doubts at the back of his mind. If he was really fixed, the scars would have healed and disappeared. If he was truly cured, he'd be able to walk and run and get out of bed without falling flat on his face. But because the scars were still there and he continued to lie uselessly in bed, the voice in his head told him that the possibility of getting back to his old self became more and more remote with each passing day. The transgenic fisted the sheet and pulled it towards him. He didn't know if things would ever return to way they were but he knew what would happen if he remained less than ordinary. He knew because Manticore had drilled it into each and every one of them that there was no place in this world and no use for a broken transgenic.

**DA~DA~DA**

As soon as the feeding tube was out, Alec got the green light from the medics to start rehab or training as he liked to refer to it. Sketchy was by his side and together they worked out every morning and afternoon. Alec was determined to prove that his doubts were unfounded and he would get back to his old self in no time.

After a week, Alec had made some progress but his right side was still weak, lacking strength and muscle tone. Despite this, he was anxious to try his hand at standing and walking. Sketchy positioned the chair by the parallel bars and Alec attempted to hoist himself up. He got about a third of the way before falling back into the chair. He tried again. Same result. Sketchy moved behind him and on the next attempt, placed his hands on Alec's hips and pushed him up. Alec tried to steady himself but immediately began to sag on his weaker side. Sketchy pulled the chair away, hugged Alec around his middle and straightened the transgenic to a standing position.

"No worries, buddy. I got it." Sketchy huffed and reassured Alec he wouldn't let him go.

Alec pursed his lips and breathed roughly through his nose. He was determined to walk, come hell or high water. He steadied himself, took some deep breaths and slowly inched his left hand forward on the bar. He followed that with an unsteady step with his left foot. It was harder than he thought it would be and the true test was trying to repeat the same thing on the right side.

"Ok to go?" Sketchy asked and peered around at Alec, his arms still hugging his friend's slim frame. All Alec could do was grunt as he clamped his mouth shut and flexed the fingers of his right hand repetitively. He tried to lift his hand in order to slide it forward but realized forcing his fingers to hold the bar and asking his arm to move forward was not going to work. Alec huffed forcefully and let go of the bar and then attempted to move his hand forward. The muscles on his arm shook with the effort and Sketchy tightened his grip to give his friend some measure of reassurance. Alec let Sketchy take more of his weight as he focused on moving his arm forward. He finally managed to slide his hand a few inches.

"Good job." Sketchy huffed and gave Alec time to gather himself. The transgenic took a few more breaths and then tried to get his leg to move but wasn't able to lift his foot. After a few attempts he tried a different tact and turned his body slightly so he could swing his hip and hope the momentum would carry his leg forward. Sketchy understood the intent and timed it so he nudged Alec's leg in the right direction on the next attempt.

"First step," Sketchy exhaled cheerfully. "Let's make it two," he ground out between breaths.

Alec's arms were shaking unremittingly and he wasn't sure he could continue but he was too proud to quit. He leaned back into Sketchy to take some of the pressure off his arms.

"We're good, buddy." Sketchy huffed and held Alec tighter. "Any time you're ready."

Alec took a few steadying breaths and leaned forward. His left hand and leg moved slowly then he tried with the other side but his hand had no strength and it wouldn't budge. Sketchy gave him a few seconds and then placed his own hand behind Alec's and pushed it forward along the bar. Next, he grabbed a handful of Alec's sweats and pulled them up until Alec's leg came off the floor slightly. Sketchy used his leg to push Alec's ahead, making sure Alec's foot landed flat.

"Two steps," the Ordinary squeezed out between clenched teeth and felt Alec getting heavier. The transgenic couldn't keep upright and Sketchy pulled him back into his chest and walked him backwards into the chair. Both men were sweating and gasping for air. Sketchy leaned over and placed his hands on his knees and smiled up at Alec. The young transgenic smiled back. True, it wasn't anything to call the papers about but it was something to be proud of because it had been a very long time since he had been upright and with Sketchy's help he managed a couple of faltering steps.

"First step," Alec huffed and both men grinned like idiots and high fived each other.

**DA~DA~DA**

As the days went by and progress was slow, Sketchy noticed a worrisome change in his friend. Noticed how Alec's mood was darker, more fragile. How the transgenic needed constant encouragement to get to the end of the training sessions. How Alec didn't want anyone else in the room and refused to update the others with his progress. In fact, Alec made it a point to distance himself from Mole, Max and even Joshua. Sometimes picking fights with them but mostly with Max. Alec was a master at pushing her buttons and Sketchy saw her storming out of his room on more than one occasion.

Strangely, Alec seemed to have no issue with him and sought out his company more and more. The Ordinary turned all these things over in his mind and decided to have a chat with Alec, to try and figure out where this was coming from. He tightened his grip around Alec's hips as the transgenic panted and stopped at the end of the parallel bars.

"I'm done," Alec ground out tiredly and blinked away the sweat dripping into his eyes.

I'll get the chair," Sketchy said and waited to get the okay from Alec before letting go of his friend. Alec gripped the bars tightly and shifted so most of his weight was on his strong side before he nodded. It had been a few days now that Alec was able to hold himself up.

"Be right back," Sketchy said, scooted under the bar and jogged over to the wheelchair in the corner. The Ordinary's body tensed when he heard a familiar grunting sound behind him. _Shit. F*ck._

Sketchy whirled around and saw the confused look on Alec's face. He saw how the transgenic tried to say something but it didn't make sense. How Alec's eyes flitted and then suddenly lost their focus. And before Sketchy could make a move, Alec was falling and all the Ordinary could do was watch in dismay as the transgenic hit the floor hard.

Sketchy ran to his friend, his hands hovering over Alec's prone form.

"Alec?" He huffed worriedly. "Shit, fuck," Sketchy cursed under his breath. "Should have known better," he berated himself. He knew a seizure could strike at any time and on a couple of occasions he had to catch Alec as he slipped forward off the wheelchair or had to grab a weight before Alec dropped it on himself. But Sketchy always had fair warning because there were signs of the impending assault on Alec's brain. Not this time.

"Alec, can you hear me?" Sketchy asked and put his hand to Alec head and noticed the transgenic was still in the throes of the seizure. Alec had mentioned that he could sometimes make out what others were saying during and after a seizure so Sketchy made it a point to always talk to his friend.

"I just wanna make sure you're ok." Sketchy said before he peered into Alec's eyes and getting no coherent response felt around his head for any injuries. Sketchy took visual stock of Alec and the only thing he couldn't see was Alec's right arm which was caught underneath his body. Alec started to squirm and tried to get himself off the floor. The movement caused him to let out a strangled groan.

"Take it easy, buddy." Sketchy said and tried to gently hold Alec down. "I'm going to get some help." Sketchy ran out of the room and got the medic.

"He had a seizure and fell pretty hard," Sketchy explain as they ran back. The saw Alec try to roll to his side a pained expression on his face.

"He's starting to come out of it," Sketchy continued, unfortunately much too aware with the stages of these types of seizures. The medic did a quick check of Alec's head and neck and seeing how Alec was trying to get off his arm, grabbed his head and stabilized it.

"Ok, we're going to turn him over and check him out. On my count. Ready?" Sketchy nodded and grabbed a hold of Alec.

"One, two, three." They pulled him over and Alec cried out painfully and shut his eyes tightly. They both saw the way his arm looked wrong and the deformity in the wrist indicating a break in the bone.

"Shit," Sketchy cursed angrily, blaming himself for not being more vigilant. The medic was still holding on to Alec's head and neck.

"Go get the other medic," he ordered then leaned down towards the injured transgenic.

"Alec, I'm not gonna move you, ok? Just lie still. Don't move." He could only hope his message was getting through and kept repeating it over and over again until help arrived.

**DA~DA~DA**

Alec sustained a concussion and broken right wrist. He sported a black eye and bruising around his temple and was fortunate he didn't break his orbital bone when he hit the floor. The days after the incident were somber with Alec brooding, Sketchy blaming himself and Joshua being overly protective and concerned.

The transgenic lay on his bed, his casted arm propped up on a pillow. Joshua took the meal tray and maneuvered it closer to Alec. The transgenic refused to look at the lunch and thus, the same fight as the previous day was starting to build once more.

"Alec not hungry?" Joshua asked quietly.

"No, not hungry," Alec responded curtly. "Take it away."

"Made it myself," Joshua offered.

"Don't want it," Alec snarled impatiently.

"Macaroni and cheese with hot dogs." Joshua lifted the plate and brought it closer to Alec. "See?" And Joshua waited hoping Alec would look. Nothing.

"Alec's favourite," Joshua added.

"Not my favourite," Alec ground out irately and Joshua's eyes lowered awkwardly.

"Alec need to eat," Joshua continued sadly and waited but there was no reply from Alec.

"Alec…"Johsua entreated and reached out to his friend's shoulder. The transgenic's anger was no longer simmering, it was ready to blow.

"Alec needs to be left alone," the transgenic yelled out viciously. "Leave me the f*ck alone."

The transhuman couldn't hide the shock or the hurt at his friend's words and he stood there numbly. Alec turned towards him, fire raging in his eyes.

"Are you stupid or do you just pretend not to understand?" he asked cruelly and still Joshua stayed and looked away sheepishly. Alec scrubbed at his face in frustration. "Always gotta watch the invalid…" he muttered and then slammed his fist into the mattress. "News flash genius, I'm not going anywhere," he roared.

Just then Max walked in having overheard the yelling from outside the room.

"What the hell is going on here?" She asked harshly. She and Alec had been butting heads lately and almost every one of their conversations turned into an argument. It was clear Max had lost patience with Alec's attitude.

"Great, why don't we invite everyone to come and watch the freak," Alec growled and turned away angrily. Max looked over at Joshua's forlorn figure and knew that Alec had overstepped his bounds.

"Josh, it's okay. Please go," Max requested and Big Fella complied reluctantly leaving the lunch on the tray. Max waited until Joshua was outside before she turned back to Alec.

"What was that all about?" She asked and crossed her arms in an attempt to keep her anger under control. Alec looked away and fingered his bar code.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself? Leave - me - alone," Alec moaned and Max stood there and tried to gauge where this was going.

"For f*ck's sake," he huffed at her lack of movement. "Even prisoners are allowed some privacy."

"You feel like a prisoner?" Max asked angrily. Alec sure had a knack for getting under her skin and Max was upset that everyone had to walk on eggshells around him and they still couldn't do anything right.

"At least a prisoner has some hope of getting out," Alec shouted and shoved the tray knocking the plate to the floor. Alec watched the food scatter in every direction and he felt the frustration of being trapped in his bed, in his room and in his body. He clutched at his chest and took a few ragged breaths.

"I'm locked into to this…" he said miserably and slammed his hand against his head. "F*cking, good for nothing, piece of Manticore shit," Alec muttered furiously. "What good am I? Just a lousy burden to everyone," he lamented and covered his eyes with his arm. Max felt her chest tighten at the admission.

"That's not true, Alec. You're not a burden," she tried to reassure him. "We would do anything for you."

"F*ck, you don't get it Max," Alec whispered and it scared Max at how crushed he sounded.

"Help me understand," Max said softly and moved closer. Alec just lay there and shook his head no beneath his arm and took in some shaky breaths.

"Shutting us out is not going to help. We're here for you Alec. You can't just give up. You have to keep trying," Max pleaded. Alec looked up at her, resentment burning in his eyes.

"You think it's that easy. 'Just keep trying, Alec. You can do it, Alec,'" he mimicked then locked into her gaze. "What if it doesn't matter how hard I try? What if it never gets better and I need a babysitter to keep me from braining myself every time I'm out of bed? Ever think of that?"

"Alec, you don't know that."

"Neither do you," Alec charged back, eyes challenging and hard.

"What if you're not trying hard enough?" Max shot back unfairly trying to ignore the implications of what Alec was suggesting.

"That's right, I forgot, Max the Almighty is used to getting whatever she wants. You gonna order me to try harder? I have a better idea, why don't you just order me to walk, Max. Let's see how that works for you," Alec snarled. Max took a steadying breath. She knew Alec was trying to goad her into a fight and she didn't want that to happen, not today.

"I wish that would work," she said honestly. "I really do but I can't do it for you Alec."

"That's right, you can't do it for me and I obviously can't do it for me either. So there, that's the end of that," Alec huffed with finality.

"Please don't be like that," she implored and flinched when she saw that it was the wrong thing to say, once again.

"Like what, Max? Mad, depressed, useless, a freak. Am I allowed feelings or do you get to tell me how I should feel?" Alec snapped. Max hated how this conversation was going. Hated how they couldn't seem to connect and speak the same language. Hated that Alec all but admitted he was depressed.

"Alright, tell me what's best for you Alec," she asked and hoped he would let her in just this one time.

"Leave – me - alone," Alec ground out and turned away. Max clenched her fists as she stared at his back.

"You don't get to brush me off," she shouted and pulled at his shoulder.

"No," Alec corrected and glared back at her. "I meant, that's what best for me - for you to leave me alone."

"Really and why's that." Max crossed her arms feeling her anger bubbling up in her chest.

"Because…I hate you." Alec said pointedly. Max could feel the heat rise to her cheeks at how much it hurt.

"Where's this coming from?" She asked.

"Somewhere deep in my heart," he said spitefully and Max wanted to pull out her hair or punch something but instead she waited a beat and took a deep breath and tried to control herself before continuing.

"Alec, I know it's hard," She whispered.

"You don't know shit," Alec said bitterly and Max did her best to ignore him.

"You have so many people pulling for you, doing everything they can to help."

"And what good has that done me, huh? None. That's the truth of the matter, Max," Alec said in frustration because Max didn't get it. She didn't get that she couldn't make this better.

"You are so f*cking blind," she retorted. "You wouldn't know the truth if it hit you in the face."

"Oh that's precious coming from you. See, I'm the only one lying in my own f*cking truth. I lie in it every single day. Every single, f*cking day," Alec screamed viciously. "What would you know about my truth you f*cking, self-righteous bitch?"

Max slapped him hard across the face and Alec quickly lifted his hand to his cheek like he had been burned by fire. He bit down on his lip and his eyes welled up and Max saw the utter hopelessness on his face.

"Well, there's some truth right there Maxie," he choked out roughly.

Max hated herself. She hated herself for letting Alec get to her. She hated herself for losing control. Most of all, she couldn't stand to see Alec sinking faster than a stone flung into the ocean.

"Get out," Alec ordered and she watched the unshed tears pooling in his eyes.

"Alec…" she tried.

"Get – out," he said tremulously. Max knew he would rather die than cry in front of her and although she didn't get anything else right, she could at least grant him this. She backed away slowly nodding her head. She watched as he sank back into the bed in exhaustion and defeat. She turned, ran out of the room and slumped to the floor. Max felt the burning sensation behind her eyes as she covered her head with her arms. Try as she might, she couldn't stop the tears from falling and she couldn't unhear the broken and hopeless sounds coming from Alec's room.

…


	11. No Man's Land

Whatever it Takes – No Man's Land

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: Your reviews have done something to my muse…this is all on your heads.

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

"I can't hear you…la la la la la la…"Alec yelled at the top of his lungs while Mole clenched his fists tightly. The lizard man was doing his best to keep from wrapping his giant mitts around the kid's scrawny neck and strangling the living breath right out of him.

"Get out…la la la la la la…out, out, out…" Alec sang out loudly and annoyingly. The transhuman took a deep breath and tried to make sense of how things had gotten this bad. Tried to understand how the kid had become so irrational and spiteful that he refused to take basic care of himself.

"You can't make me….la la la la la…" Alec took his pillows, flung them to the floor then grabbed the blankets, pulled them off the bed and tossed them around the room. Mole's frustration was gnawing at his gut and he didn't how much more of this infuriating, immature and out of control behavior he could take.

"Alec…you're being a stubborn *ss…"

"La,la,la..."

"Quit it…or you're not gonna like what's coming," Mole hissed and rubbed a hand to his forehead to ease the growing headache from the ear-piercing screams.

"You're being an ugly *ss reptile…la la la la…and YOU'RE not gonna like what's coming either," Alec parroted and tried to rip the sheets from the bed.

Mole didn't make an effort to stop him. Hell, he was the one that had tried to convince the others to let Alec stew in his own juices for as long as it took for the kid to come to his senses. After all, the only reason Alec was doing all this was to punish Max. After three days of not eating or drinking and lying in the same old, stinkin' clothes the others had threatened to strap Alec to the bed and force feed him. And just as Mole predicted, the little shit dug in his heels and told them all to go f*ck themselves. That was two days ago and no one had been able to reason with the stubborn mule since.

"La la la la la…" Alec screeched and pushed the tray table away so forcefully he toppled over the edge of the bed. Only Mole's quick reaction prevented the kid from slamming face first onto the tiles.

"Leave me alone you overgrown lizard," Alec growled and twisted wildly until Mole had no choice but to lower him to the floor. The kid glared up and chortled contemptuously at his victory and Mole chomped down hard on his cigar and tried not to think about all the ways he was gonna wipe that detestable smirk off the kid's face. That was until the medic walked in, syringe in hand.

_Crap. _

Mole pulled the cigar out of his mouth, stuffed it in his coat pocket and readied himself for the battle that was about to erupt. He looked down at Alec whose eyes darkened. The transgenic quickly dragged himself away to avoid whatever they were going to inject into him.

"Alec," the medic started slowly, unconcerned by the transgenic's evasive actions. "You can't keep this up."

"Watch me," Alec warned and moved towards the corner.

"This is just a little something to help you relax," he advised and nodded to Mole.

"Maybe, YOU need to relax." Alec replied harshly. Mole moved forward, grabbed kid's ankle and pulled him back.

"Where do you think you're going, Princess?" Mole mocked, getting back at the kid for his earlier jabs.

"Anywhere you're not," Alec ground out as he latched on to the frame of the bed.

"Looks like that's not an option," Mole snorted as he tugged experimentally to see if he could break Alec's hold. No such luck. So Mole just held on and looked at the medic for his next move. What they weren't prepared for was Alec twisting around and laughing whole-heartedly at them. Mole would have expected anger, kicking and screaming but not this and he got a bad feeling.

"How many transhumans…" Alec gasped, hardly able to get the words out, "does it take to catch a cripple?" Mole let go of the kid's leg and looked away ashamed.

"None," Alec roared. "Get it…none… but you're all too stupid to figure it out." The kid howled like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard and Mole cringed because he thought it was the saddest.

"Get it, you stupid lizard. Stu-pid, stu-pid, mo-ron…re-tard…" Alec continued taunting Mole cruelly.

As much as the lizard man tried to contain his emotions, the insults and the intolerable behaviour were getting on his very last nerve and before he knew it, he had the kid dangling beneath him with his fisted hand hovering dangerously overhead.

"Ha, doing Max's dirty work, are you?" Alec chided his eyes hard as stone. "Go ahead…put me to good use," Alec continued derisively, "…as a punching bag." Mole loosened his hold and uncurled his fist as his heart sank into the pit of his stomach.

"Maxiiiieeee, I know you're out there." Alec bellowed. You better get your *ss in here and finish what you started cause Mole can't do it." The transhuman stood up and walked away unable to look the kid in the eye.

"Come on Maxie, Mole could use some lessons on how to be cold-hearted and cruel." He yelled furiously and when no one reacted to his taunts, he grabbed his casted arm and tried to shatter the plaster by smashing it against the floor repeatedly.

Mole had had just about enough; he strode over, reached down and gripped the kid roughly. They grappled for a few seconds but Alec was no match and the lizard man sat behind him and immobilized the transgenic by wrapping one arm around his neck and the other around his torso, trapping Alec's arms in the process.

"You can't do this," Alec shouted and arched back into Mole. "It's my body…I have rights…I want to speak…with my lawyer," Alec rasped and sneered wickedly. The medic approached cautiously, needle in hand and the kid intensified his attempts to break free.

"It's my body you lousy bastards. You can't…you don't…control me," Alec wheezed hardly able to breathe with the pressure across his throat and realized he was only exhausting himself by trying to break free. The kid stopped struggling and waited until the medic got within striking distance before he felled him with a well-placed kick to the ankle. Alec cackled madly and for a brief moment, Mole thought about choking him unconscious to put an end to this madness.

"Mole," the medic cautioned when he noticed Alec grunting and reddening from a lack of air. The lizard man hadn't really wanted to constrict the kid's breathing and berated himself as he eased up. Once the medic deemed the situation was under control, he proceeded to pick up the syringe and limped back towards the gasping transgenic.

"This is for your own good, Alec," he stated unemotionally and signaled to Mole to be prepared. The lizard man pulled Alec tighter to his chest and wrapped his leg over the kid's to keep him from kicking out once more.

"Wait, wait, wait…" Alec babbled breathlessly. "I'll be good. I promise…please…don't…don't, don't….no, please, please…" The transgenic pleaded as he watched the medic prepare the syringe. "I'm sorry….please…I'll stop…I'll do whatever you want…but not this….please," Alec begged pitifully. The medic paid no attention to the empty promises. He had been down this path before with the transgenic and he knew Alec would say anything to get what he wanted. Words were his only weapon.

"I didn't mean it…" Alec huffed contritely. "I didn't mean what I said before," he continued until he had the medic's full attention. Then his lips twisted condescendingly. "What I meant to say is that you're a bunch of pussy faced, yellow-bellied, full of shit cowards and I hope you all die," Alec shouted and his eyes smoldered dangerously.

"Alec, we're not trying to hurt you," the medic explained and closed the gap between them and the transgenic's sneer turned feral.

"Don't you f*cking touch me. I swear, I'll kill all of you bastards." Alec growled and Mole felt the kid's heart racing uncontrollably and the dampness of his sweat soaked body as he pushed against the transhuman. The medic ignored the threats and grabbed the fleshy part of Alec's arm while the transgenic tensed in an effort to make his muscles impenetrable.

"Alec…" The medic warned.

"Help… someone…anyone…Josh, help me, Josh, they're hurting me, Jooooosh." Alec screamed and Mole prayed the dog man was not hearing this. The medic hesitated guiltily before he shoved the needle into the transgenic's arm and depressed the plunger completely.

"I'll kill all of you bastards," Alec threatened hoarsely, defeat leaking into his voice as he continued to struggle and accuse them of holding him against his will. Eventually, the kid's breathing slowed and his eyes drooped and sank back into Mole.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Alec asked despondently as if his crazy alter ego had never existed. The lizard man wasn't about to loosen his hold, wasn't about to make the same mistake as the last time.

"Mole…" Alec gasped out urgently, his alertness fading fast. The lizard man heard the desperation in the unsteady voice and despite how much he wanted to hurt the little shit earlier, he couldn't leave him hanging like this.

"I'm right here kid," Mole whispered.

"Please…let me go…please," Alec begged and his voice sounded so small and helpless.

"Soon, kid…soon," Mole huffed and Alec struggled but the lizard man kept his hold.

"You…you holding me hostage?" Alec swallowed thickly and struggled to remain alert. The transhuman ignored the question.

"Ransom for hostages… isn't there?" The transgenic asked drowsily as the drugs started to pull him under.

"Mole? Ransom for hostages, right?" Alec sounded confused and the lizard man didn't know what to make of the kid's ramblings.

"Right," Mole whispered.

"Not a hostage?" Alec asked shakily.

"No," Mole confirmed softly and Alec thought about it for a few moments.

"Course…not…" the transgenic eked out, his voice catching. "Not… a hostage," and Mole felt the kid shuddering and for a moment thought Alec was having a seizure. The lizard man looked up and saw the medic lower his eyes and turn away and Mole realized the kid was crying, sobbing like his whole world had collapsed.

"Not… a hostage…" Alec simpered painfully. "Ransom…ransom for hostages… but… not for me," he choked out and the lizard man wished the kid would just stop talking.

"Who'd pay, huh Mole?" Alec asked miserably and the transhuman had no answer. "Who? No one…that's who….not for a f*ck up like me…" Alec sobbed brokenly. "No one wants a f*ck-up like me...no one..."

Mole caught the depth of the self-loathing in Alec's voice and felt it coursing through the kid's body along with equal measures of pain and anger and despair. The transhuman finally understood how much Alec hated himself, hated who he was and what he couldn't be.

The realization froze Mole and the lizard man was unable to do or say anything to help the kid because all he could feel was the hole opening up in the middle of his chest where his damn heart used to be.

**DA~DA~DA**

"What are we going to do, now?" Max asked tentatively as she leaned against the wall, eyes puffy with guilt.

They met in a room away from the infirmary. Mole sat with his head down. Joshua stood by the door, staring through the window and anxiously wondering when he'd be allowed to sit with Alec. Sketchy paced back and forth nervously occasionally chewing on his fingernails.

"Well, I know what I'm NOT going to do," Mole replied seriously, "Not gonna do that again…"

Joshua let out a small whine and Max averted her eyes and tried not to think about the medics who were busy shoving a feeding tube into Alec and poking IV needles into his arm. She wasn't sure if it had all been worth it and Sketchy echoed her thoughts.

"We can't do that to him again," the young man whispered lowly and bit his lip. What Max heard was that they shouldn't have done it this time, either.

"You saw him." Max argued weakly. "We couldn't let him continue like that.".

"We shouldn't have done _that_…"Mole repeated without elaborating because he just couldn't put into words what it was like watching the kid breakdown.

"So what, we leave him alone until he makes himself sick or worse?" Max asked guiltily. Mole let out a long breath, pulled the cigar out of his pocket and rolled it between his fingers and suddenly, it didn't seem so appealing.

"You didn't see him, Max," the lizard man said softly and tossed the cigar into the waste basket. "I don't know if he'll ever trust us again."

The room fell silent. The thought of Mole's declaration weighed heavy on all of them.

"Some leader I turned out to be," Max whispered repentantly and Mole arched an eyebrow at her admission. "Maybe I wasn't meant to handle something like this. Alec, he was always good at this kind of stuff. Knew how to talk to people, how to connect, got everyone on the same page." Max mused.

"Well, doesn't seem any of us were any good at getting through to him." Mole replied and tried to assuage her guilt and his own. "It's not your fault, Max."

"Sure feels like it," she muttered remorsefully.

"Not time for blame," Joshua said quietly. "Alec needs us." The dog man looked at the door and everyone knew how much he wanted to be by his friend's side. "Alec in no man's land..."

"The kid's lost..." Mole reflected and lowered his eyes.

Mole and Joshua's insight did nothing to calm Max. If anything it scared her even more as she began to put the pieces together. Even before their recent fight, Alec's mood had become sour. His usual 'devil may care' attitude had all but evaporated. His jokes had lost their playfulness and his words were now biting and cruel. He did his best to distance himself from everyone and Max blamed herself for not seeing it sooner. For not seeing that the bullet injured his brain but it was his heart that broke when he couldn't get back to what he was before.

"What do we do?" Max implored and swiped at the fatigue, worry and guilt that leaked from her eyes.

"Alec…all of you, you're soldiers. You're used to being told what to do…how to feel." Sketchy began. "But this is different. You can't make Alec do or feel anything. He needs to work through this by himself."

"We can't just abandon him," Max said.

"That's not what I meant. Alec needs us more than ever. He needs to know he belongs with us. No matter what." Sketchy stated unequivocally. "He needs to know we won't abandon him, even when he's being a royal pain in the *ss." Sketchy smiled lightly. "He needs to know he can't get rid of us that easily," he added and the others chuckled and nodded in unison.

"So, what do we do?" Max asked and deferred to the others for guidance, not trusting her instincts.

"We have to give him some space, respect his decisions, even when we don't agree with him." Sketchy started and looked to Max. "Sure, he'll make mistakes, so will we. When he falls, we'll pick him up, if he wants our help," the young man added and looked to Max as he saw her struggling with the idea of giving up control especially with Alec's fragile state of mind.

"Max, he needs to find his own way, his purpose." Sketchy explained and Mole nodded in agreement. "It's not going to be easy for him or us. We'll be in this together. Every step of the way, like family."

"I guess it starts with me," Max stated and stood up. "I've been so afraid…" Max recollected. "And when I'm scared, I get defensive and angry." Sketchy looked at her sympathetically. "Maybe Alec and I, we're more alike than we let on…probably why we keep butting heads," Max realized. "I need to listen, really listen to him and all of you. Might help too if I was less bossy," Max smiled wanly.

"That a promise," Mole muttered in jest.

"That's a promise when it comes to Alec. The rest of you are fair game," she shot back and that got a snort out of Sketchy. Max huffed and looked at each of them. "I can't do this alone."

"You don't have to. We're in this together," Sketchy said and stuck out a fist. Max saw the honesty in the young man's eyes. She understood that it didn't matter whether you were transgenic or ordinary or something else and she only wished Alec could see that as well. Max stepped forward and covered Sketchy's fist with her hand. Mole and Joshua moved in and did the same until the four of them were united in a common cause.

"Like family," Joshua said cementing their promise and the dog man looked back towards the door, back towards the only member of his family that was missing.

**DA~DA~DA**

"Hey," Max ventured a peak into Alec's room. She steeled herself against the anger she was certain was awaiting her. Alec didn't turn or acknowledge her presence and Max stepped into the room and hesitated nervously. The first thing she noticed was the smell of rotting food had been replaced by a harsh antiseptic cleaner.

Alec's back faced her and Max moved around the bed and into his line of vision. The angry crease on his forehead told her everything she needed to know about his state of mind. She swallowed hard knowing Alec wasn't going to make it easy for her and she couldn't blame him for that. She didn't feel she deserved his leniency.

Max approached and lightly touched the blanket falling over the side of the bed and although Alec didn't look at her, she pulled back slightly when she saw him bristle.

"How are you feeling?" Max asked quietly.

"How am I feeling?" Alec asked incredulously, his steely resolve shattered. "How do you think I feel?" Alec asked bitterly. "Violated, that's how," Alec said and turned away.

"Alec..." Max started tentatively, her eyes looking down. "I don't even know where to begin."

"So then leave. Come back...in a year or two...not like I'll be going anywhere," Alec snarled cruelly.

"I came to apologize," Max said and bit her lip. "What I did was completely wrong and unacceptable," Max whispered remorsefully but Alec gave no sign he was even listening. "I got scared and I didn't know how to help you and I thought I knew what was best. It won't happen again."

"Wow, this is quite a privilege." Alec sneered. "Queen Max bestowing adulthood on me. Didn't know I needed your blessing to be my own person. Should I kiss your hand and be forever grateful?" Alec mocked and Max shook her head but kept quiet, refusing to be drawn into an argument.

"Does this mean you'll finally leave me alone?" Alec shot out hotly and his words felt like razor blades to Max.

Max swallowed guiltily. "If you want me to leave, I will," Max offered.

"That's what I want," Alec replied and hunched deeper into the bed.

"I'll be back later," Max said softly and Joshua's words echoed in her head and ripped at her heart – no man's land - it was a land unoccupied due to fear and uncertainty and Alec was there, alone and scared. Max only wished there was a map somewhere to help guide them out of that godforsaken place.

...


	12. Sky

Whatever it Takes –Sky

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: The beginning of the end.

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

"_Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."_

**-Joseph Addison**

**DA~DA~DA**

Joshua stood outside Alec's room, listened and waited to ensure the transgenic was sound asleep before he would lie down too.

It had been a difficult day and on the surface, things seemed to be the same with Alec as angry as ever, dispatching Max in less than two minutes, refusing to acknowledge anyone or eat his supper. But on the inside, Alec's emotions were gnawing away at his core and causing him to doubt everything about himself. It was exactly the type of maelstrom that could wreak havoc on the transgenic's nervous system and Joshua wanted to be close by in case he was needed.

The dog man gave one last listen before he walked back towards the cot and sat down heavily. He had been banished from the transgenic's room days ago and had no alternative but to reposition his cot out in the corridor. At night, when Alec was sleeping, the dog man would enter the room and make sure all was well before returning to his spot outside.

Joshua's ears perked up at the sound of footsteps and he didn't have to look to know it was Max. She stopped and stared at the door, her arms crossed tightly across her chest.

"Any change?" she asked worriedly. Joshua just shook his head no and Max huffed and dropped down to a sitting position next to him.

"He hates me," Max voiced softly. Joshua looked over and saw how days of trying to reason with the young transgenic had worn her out emotionally.

"Alec doesn't hate Max," Joshua replied and exhaled wearily. "Alec hates Alec."

Max closed her eyes to keep the tears from falling because Joshua's statement was far more devastating than her own.

"Is he sleeping?" She asked, trying to divert her thoughts.

"Sleeping but not resting," Joshua whispered. "Hard day for Alec," and Joshua twitched an ear towards the room before leaning back against the wall.

Max sighed and tilted against the dog man. She was determined to see the night through with him but when she laid her head on his shoulder and felt his warm embrace, the pull of sleep was much too strong. She closed her eyes, just for a second and her next thought came when she was jostled awake as Joshua moved off the cot and into Alec's room. Max blinked away the sleep and let her eyes adjust to the darkness before she got up and followed. She stayed far enough back not to be seen by Alec but when she glimpsed at the transgenic, she knew he wouldn't be aware of her presence.

Alec was trying to sit up, was making unintelligible noises and repetitive motions with his hand. The dog man was by his side in no time, speaking softly, keeping Alec apprised of what he was doing. Joshua gently pulled the sheets aside, untangling the transgenic and laid his hand on Alec's chest to guide him back into the bed. Once Alec was on his back, Joshua grabbed a pillow and stuffed it between Alec's body and his casted arm.

Alec's eyes tracked Joshua but were unseeing as the electrical impulses sparking in his brain began to take over and he grunted softly. Joshua knew there was nothing he could do at this point, the seizure was inevitable and he hated the look of confusion in Alec's eyes just before it hit. The dog man rubbed the transgenic's chest and murmured words he had spoken countless times. Alec's breathing hitched and his eyes flitted upwards. It wasn't one of those all out violent seizures still Max couldn't bear to see him like this especially since she blamed herself for the mess they were in. She turned her eyes away from Alec and towards Joshua. Max watched the dog man's absolute devotion and compassion as his hands tried to still and comfort the transgenic. The seconds seemed to last forever and then the horrible choking sounds started and Alec's spasms began to abate and he gasped desperately for air. Alec's hand skimmed across his t-shirt and then reached up to his scars and tugged at his hair. Joshua left Alec's side and moved towards the shelves in the corner.

"Joshua get for Alec." The dog man whispered hurriedly over his shoulder as the transgenic became more and more agitated; his hand grasped along the edge of the bed and then frantically clutched at the edges of his t-shirt.

The dog man rummaged around until he found what he was looking for. It was a towel. One in particular that had a seam along one edge that was more pronounced. Joshua came back to the bed and took Alec's hand and guided it around the soft material. Even with his eyes unfocused and his brain still firing crazily, Alec worked his way around it until he was able to run the pads of his fingers along the stitching. The effect was almost instantaneous; the transgenic took a couple of deep breaths and quieted despite the fact that he continued to twitch. Joshua relaxed visibly, knowing that something so insignificant could bring relief to Alec.

The dog man leaned forward and adjusted Alec's head and neck so it was squarely on the pillow. He pulled the sheet up and swept Alec's long, sweaty bangs away from his forehead. Joshua surveyed the transgenic whose fingers worked automatically and compulsively over the seam.

Max took this all in, watched how Alec clung to that towel and used it to calm himself. She realized the towel had become something familiar and dependable. Something Alec could count on to help ground him and get his bearings and it slowly dawned on her that this was exactly what he needed.

Max leaned against the wall and breathed a sigh of relief as Alec's hand stilled. She felt a tiny bit of the weight lifting from her shoulders, replaced by a deeper appreciation for how she could make things better for him. She knew it wouldn't be easy. She knew it would require a lot of patience but she wasn't about to give up on him. Not now, not after everything they'd been through.

**DA~DA~DA**

Max put together a schedule to get Alec back into a routine. She made certain everything had a place and a time. Something familiar and dependable, that was her mantra. But regardless of Max's attempts, Alec continued to be sullen and angry. Meals were barely touched. Sketchy was turned down every time he asked Alec to join him in the training room. Max or Mole tried to involve him with the planning of the supply runs but it was impossible trying to make conversation with someone who refused to speak and when he did, you wished he hadn't.

It was Joshua however, who bore the brunt of Alec's ire.

"You can go." Alec mumbled wanting the dog man to leave him alone. Joshua was torn between doing what Alec asked and watching over him. He hesitated and looked around the room as if the answer was somewhere on the ceiling.

"You don't owe me anything," Alec said as a way to convince Joshua he was off the hook.

"Not a matter of owe." Joshua replied sadly but the dog man's response did nothing to deter Alec. It was bad enough the transgenic still needed everyone's help for the most simple and mundane tasks but he didn't want anyone to feel obligated to him. He didn't want to be anyone's responsibility or burden.

"Listen, I'm no hero...what happened," Alec waved dismissively at his head. "Probably an accident…maybe I fell in front of that bullet, maybe the shooter couldn't aim straight…I don't even remember…" Alec explained, trying to convince Joshua that he had no conscious part in saving him. "Bad luck, that's all…"

Joshua's heart ached because Alec made it seem like his actions on that fateful day had been unintentional and thus devalued his bravery and selflessness.

"Joshua remembers." The dog man said dolefully.

"Well I don't, so it doesn't mean anything to me." Alec huffed and turned away. Joshua let out a small sound of disappointment and hurt.

"Means everything to Joshua."

"Yeah, well good for you." Alec muttered irately, hoping Joshua would just let it drop and he did.

Somehow it seemed like things would go on like this for a long time until Sky flew into their lives, or more accurately into Alec's window.

Alec had taken to crushing his morning toast and spreading the crumbs across his window sill. He loved to watch the tiny birds flitting about, swooping down and grabbing the tiny morsels of bread. There were times early in his recovery when Alec dreamt he could fly. The feeling of lightness and freedom when his dream self soared over the streets and buildings was indescribable. He'd wake up elated and overjoyed until he realized it was just a dream and when Joshua questioned him, he always lied and told the dog man he'd been awakened by a nightmare. Truth was it had been the best dream ever and it was his waking life that was the nightmare.

It was one of the reasons he refused to be taken outside. He didn't have wings, only chains holding him down. What hope did he have of getting around in that stupid wheelchair when there were countless obstacles like stairs, broken pavement and piles of garbage that could stop him dead in his tracks?

The transgenic decided to erase such hopes, to lock them away where they couldn't hurt him. Instead he tried to focus on the fact that he was alone and didn't have to feel guilty about anyone tending to him. Yet, as much he pushed everyone away, he missed the company of others and the feeling of belonging and these conflicting emotions were exhausting him and making his head hurt until he didn't know what he wanted except for all of it to stop.

Alec huffed tiredly. He felt the warmth of the sun on his skin as the sun broke through the cloud cover and he allowed himself to be lulled into closing his eyes. No matter how painful, he wished he could dream of flying again but the melancholic thought only lasted a moment before he was startled back to reality by a loud bang.

Alec frowned automatically, expecting to find someone intruding on his alone time. When he opened his eyes, there was no one there. The transgenic turned back to the window and noticed a tiny drop of blood splattered across the pane. He scrubbed at his face and pulled himself forward, straining to look outside. There he saw a bird flopping around on the ground.

Alec stared at it with a detached fascination. The sparrow tried to right itself over and over again but the wing that hung uselessly by its side kept pulling it down and preventing it from doing so. Soon, the bird fell over gasping for air and Alec thought morbidly it was doomed. It was doomed to die alone, far from home, on the hard, cold concrete.

_Just like I was._

A cold fear gripped Alec. It wasn't the thought of dying. It was the thought of Joshua standing over him, watching him bleed out and helpless to stop it. It shook him to his core and stirred something deep within him. He took a shaky breath, closed his eyes and wanted nothing more than get away from the window but he was brought back to the moment by the sound of a solitary chirp.

The sparrow stared at him, chirped again, insistent, calling to him and the walls he had built to keep everyone out cracked. All he could think was that Joshua would have never left him there to die.

_Never. Never. Never_.

The words echoed in his brain and Alec knew he couldn't leave the bird to its fate, _to our fate_. In that moment, they became inextricably linked and Alec had no choice but to lower himself to the floor and drag himself across the room.

"Stupid, useless…idiot," Alec cursed when he was unable to get into the wheelchair. He called for Joshua over and over again but it was Mole who came running, spotted the kid on the floor and immediately went to his aid.

"What happened?" The transhuman questioned in confusion.

"Just get me in here," Alec ordered and tapped the chair. Mole pulled him up easily and sat him in the chair.

"You coulda called if you needed a hand," the lizard man groused. Alec ignored him and started to push himself towards the door.

"Where you going?" Mole asked dumbfound as he watched the chair turn in circles as the kid could only push with one arm. Mole moved forward and grabbed the handles stopping any motion.

"You could answer, you know." The lizard man couldn't hide his irritation at being ignored any longer.

"Outside." Alec huffed irately.

"Outside?"

"Urgh…isn't that what I just said? Alec sniped, pushed and ended up going in circles again.

Mole grumbled and took the kid towards the exit. The lizard man had no idea what this sudden need to get outside came from. They rolled down the corridor and pushed through the exit and were immediately assaulted by streams of sunlight. While the lizard man stopped and averted his eyes, Alec pushed on unsteadily.

"I got it," Mole huffed and straightened out the kid.

"There," Alec pointed to a spot about 20 feet away. Mole saw a something small and brown on the ground and pushed until the transgenic was inches from the small bird. Alec leaned forward and tried to grasp the barely moving creature in his hand.

"It's okay…it's okay…" the transgenic murmured as he attempted to corral the sparrow with one hand. Alec lifted it, laid it on his lap and covered it lightly to keep it from moving and hurting itself. He looked back at the window and realized the glare of the sun had fooled the bird causing it to fly right into the glass. Alec felt the flutter of a wing against his hand and saw the sparrow breathless for air. He couldn't tell if it was the pain or the fear causing the reaction and he collected it gently and held it against his chest to calm it.

"Sh…sh…it's gonna be ok, I won't hurt you…sh…sh," Alec whispered against his fingers as the bird peered out. The transgenic looked at the lizard man.

"Well, what are you waiting for, let's get back inside." Alec said anxiously.

"We're not taking that thing inside," Mole growled.

"Fine," Alec hissed and used his foot to move the chair back towards the door. The transhuman watched as the kid made some headway and then was resigned to the fact that Alec would somehow make it, with or without his help.

"Stubborn as a mule…" Mole muttered and pushed the transgenic into the infirmary despite his gut telling him this was a bad idea. Soldiers knew not to waste resources and energy on something useless and there wasn't anything more useless than a bird and worse still, one that couldn't fly.

Once inside, Alec handed the sparrow to a surprised medic who placed it on the bed. In return, the medic was confronted with Mole glaring at him in warning, indicating he shouldn't humour the kid. But when he looked down and saw two frightened, brown eyes staring up at him and he had no choice but to get his first aid kit and tend to the little creature.

Alec watched the medic inspect the wing and then splint it. The little bird looked dazed, its feathers ruffled and a tiny spot of blood leaking from its beak which could indicate internal injuries but there was no way the medic would be able to do anything about those.

"He's gonna be okay, right?" Alec asked hopefully and stroked the bird's head.

"It's too early to tell." Was all the medic offered, not wanting to get the transgenic's hopes up.

"I'm keeping him," Alec stated and Mole grumbled something about a no pet policy. "I'll need newspaper, an eye dropper, bread and water," Alec listed and looked at the medic and Mole.

"Sure, let me pick-up the morning paper from the front stoop," Mole groused. "Newsflash - we don't have newspaper or food lying around, we barely have toilet paper."

Alec's eyes narrowed, "Okay, get me toilet paper." The medic couldn't help but chuckle at the stunned look on Mole's face.

"I just said - we don't have enough toilet paper for ourselves. I'm not using our allotment for some disease infested bird," Mole roared and regretted taking Alec out to pick up this little bundle of trouble.

Alec glared back. "Yeah, well then you're gonna go out there and get me some straw and twigs and we're gonna build a nest."

"What do you mean _we're_ gonna build a nest? Does bird flu mean anything to you? _You're_ gonna put that damn bird outside where it belongs before you catch something," Mole argued.

"You'd throw him out?" Alec asked incredulously.

"Damn right I would," Mole replied without hesitation and Alec's eyes clouded over.

"Just cause he's...," Alec whispered and couldn't finish…_broken…useless_. He knew it was the soldier in Mole talking but he couldn't help but feel the lizard man's statement was directed at him just as much as the bird. The transhuman huffed, shook his head and muttered at his own stupidity.

"It's not what I meant. I'm sure he'll be fine especially if he's outside, where he belongs." Mole added to appease Alec. The transgenic stared at the small bird and saw how helpless it was and knew putting it outside would be its death sentence.

"He belongs with me. I found him. I'll take care of him." Alec stated, determination written all over his face.

"He's a bird. He belongs outside." Mole said as if that was reason enough.

"Well, you're a lizard." Alec argued.

"Half-lizard," Mole retorted in his own defense.

"And half jackass," Alec shot back as the medic stifled a laugh. Mole cursed under his breath but left it alone knowing Alec would always have the last word.

"Fine, I'll do this by myself," the transgenic ground out, placed the tiny bird on his lap, making sure it couldn't fall off but at this point, it could hardly move and it flopped limply on its side. Alec pushed away using his arm and his foot and Mole stared as the chair swerved erratically from side to side until he was out the door. The transhuman gave the medic a menacing scowl and pointed an accusing finger at him.

"Don't you dare help him with that…that…thing," he snarled and spun on his heels on his way to see Max.

**DA~DA~DA**

Alec kept Sky. Back in his room, the transgenic used his teeth and ripped a towel into strips and molded a nest inside a soup bowl.

"You're gonna be just fine, you'll see," Alec told the tiny bird and stroked its head. "See, we're the same you and me," Alec lifted his casted arm. "We both have busted wings but you're gonna be flying in no time."

Joshua, Sketchy and Max all came to take a look at the sparrow and unlike Mole they were all genuinely concerned for its well-being.

Joshua stayed with Alec throughout the day and helped gather whatever supplies the transgenic needed then sat by his friend during countless hours as daylight faded into night. The transgenic fussed over Sky, keeping him warm and trying to get it to drink, knowing dehydration would be fatal.

"Come on Sky…," Alec pleaded and tried to get the dropper positioned by the sparrow's beak. Joshua watched, wanting to assist but waiting patiently to be asked. Eventually, Alec looked at him with quiet desperation as his one armed attempts proved futile. Without a word of recrimination or I told you so's, Joshua took the dropper, pried open Sky's beak and dropped some liquid into its throat. He did this unfailingly every half hour.

As the evening wore on, Alec saw how weak and restless the little bird was and he thought it best if he laid it on his chest hoping the steady thumping of his heart would have a soothing effect on the tiny creature. Still, despite their interventions, Sky was barely alive, weakened by its injuries and exhausted by its ordeal. The transgenic wasn't far behind.

"Alec sleep." Joshua implored.

"I'm gonna watch him," Alec yawned tiredly, his body contradicting his words.

The dog man stood by and watched as Alec fought to stay awake, his eyes slipping shut and then opening rapidly. Occasionally, the transgenic murmured to the little bird but soon the words slipped out half spoken and Alec's eyes eventually closed.

Joshua finally let out a tired breath at the sight of a relaxed and untroubled transgenic. It was a rare moment and no matter how temporary, Joshua was grateful for the reprieve because Alec was beyond exhausted.

Every day was a struggle for the transgenic. Gone was the soldier who could hide his true feelings behind a carefully constructed mask. Alec could neither hide nor control his emotions and the inner turmoil was wearing him down.

But it was more than that. It was the fact that Alec couldn't seem to get ahead. It was always one step forward and two steps back. It was making progress and then getting knocked down and having to start over again. Joshua had witnessed the transgenic's every failure, watched as his hope dissipated, as Alec was stripped of his confidence and sapped of his resiliency until it was easier for the transgenic to stay down than to try and pick himself up.

Despite all this, Joshua felt a small glimmer of hope when Alec allowed Sky into his fragile heart, when he allowed himself to care for another. Joshua couldn't help but smile at this tiny sparrow that had a lock on the transgenic, on a trained killer, a scam artist and smart aleck. Alec was all of those things but he was also someone who would do anything to defend and protect those he cared about most. Even to his own detriment. Joshua knew this firsthand and he felt a surge of tenderness for his friend as he reached up to stroke Alec's scars.

Maybe, Sky was exactly what the transgenic needed. Maybe. But Alec's heart still needed protecting and Joshua made it his responsibility to do so. For now, that meant making sure the tiny sparrow made it through the night. Joshua could do that, for Alec's sake.

…


	13. A New Day

Whatever it Takes –A New Day

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: To all best reviewers…you are the reason my muse can't seem to stop giving you what you want...THANK YOU.

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

That night was long and difficult.

On more than one occasion, Joshua took Sky away from Alec's grasp to prevent the transgenic from inadvertently crushing the tiny bird. Alec's sleep was agitated, restless. He woke often, tormented by terrible images of psy-ops and medical tests and basements without windows or escape. The transgenic would moan and tremble until he awoke confused and frightened and trying to get away from the dog man's gentling hands. He would call out breathlessly and Joshua would respond patiently no matter how many times it took to convince the young transgenic he was safe.

Joshua could only guess Sky's precarious state had brought on the nightmares. It hadn't. It was Mole's statement that had haunted Alec and weighed on his heart. The transgenic's subconscious reminded him that had he been back at Manticore, he would have been used for experiments and spare parts before being discarded like a bag of trash.

Between Alec's nightmares and Sky clinging to life, Joshua had his hands full and when the sun broke over the horizon and bathed the room in a soft gold, Max found the three of them asleep; Joshua sitting in his chair cradling the sparrow in his lap and Alec sprawled across his bed in a mess of pillows and sheets. Max placed the little bird in the makeshift nest and ordered Joshua to get himself to a real bed. The dog man reluctantly shuffled out to his cot where he dropped into the thin mattress and was dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Alec woke on and off, always asking for Sky and keeping the little bird close. Max offered to feed it and tried to pry its tiny beak open several times. She was unsure of herself and afraid of hurting the sparrow and apologized sheepishly before she asked Sketchy to take over. She joked about not being the motherly type and Alec sarcastically agreed with her. She left disappointed and hurt.

Under Alec's watchful eye, the ordinary force fed the tiny bird bread and water several times during the day. But Sky showed no signs of improvement and at Alec's behest the medic came to check on the little bird.

"I would have expected him to be more energetic if it was just a question of a broken wing," the medic started as Alec watched worriedly.

"We didn't have a good night," the transgenic explained.

"It could be that," the medic started cautiously, "but he's not moving…"

"He's just tired," Alec insisted.

"Sometimes, lack of movement indicates more severe injuries…" the medic continued as he tried to prepare the transgenic for the worst.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Alec said angrily and curled his fingers around the little bird.

"I'm just saying," the medic tried.

"Weren't you the one that told Max I wasn't going to wake up or walk or talk?" Alec accused bitterly recalling how Max had confided this to him to show him how far he'd come. The medic saw how defensive and angry the transgenic was and refused to answer.

"That's what I thought," Alec growled. "What makes you think you know anything about us?"

"You're right," the medic said in a placating tone, wanting to avoid a confrontation.

"Damn right," Alec muttered and cradled Sky against his chest.

""I'm not a vet. I can't really say what's wrong with him." The medic whispered. "If there's anything I can do…" Alec glared back and shook his head no and the medic left with Sketchy fast on his heels. The transgenic turned to the little bird lying weakly in his grasp.

"What do they know?" He whispered and Sky opened his eyes and stared back. "They don't know anything about us. Nothing at all. We'll show them." Alec said defiantly and stroked the sparrow's head and Sky closed his eyes and snuggled deeper into Alec's palm.

**DA~DA~DA**

Joshua woke to the sound of hushed voices. Sketchy and the medic were speaking lowly as they walked away from Alec's room. It didn't give the dog man a good feeling and he got up and went to the transgenic's room to see for himself. He stopped in the doorway and listened to Alec encouraging the little sparrow but when he walked in he saw the turmoil in Alec's eyes and felt a heaviness descend upon him.

"How's Sky?" He asked and watched the little bird.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about," Alec said heatedly as if he was continuing a conversation. Joshua didn't question the statement. The dog man had learned from experience that Alec used words like ammunition. He was a master of twisting around what you'd said until it could be used against you. Clearly, the transgenic was in a combative mood and it was up to him to diffuse the situation.

Joshua approached and asked to hold the sparrow and Alec willingly entrusted him with the little creature. He probed Sky carefully and hardly got a reaction from the tiny bird. Alec sensing Joshua's concern held out his hand to reclaim the sparrow.

"He just needs rest," the transgenic said and Joshua returned Sky to Alec. The dog man had no words to offer. Instead, he sat on the bed and let his knee rest against Alec's leg. His gesture wasn't rebuffed and Alec calmed when he didn't have to explain, defend or deny any of the arguments running through his head.

They sat for a long time as the transgenic contemplated the medic's words. He felt Sky's tiny heart drumming against his fingers and watched as the little bird gasped for air. Sky's pain brought it all home and filled him with sadness and longing and regret. He felt his throat tighten and wondered why he should care this much about a stupid bird. But Alec knew why. He knew because the moment he picked up the injured sparrow, Sky became his responsibility. The tiny creature that had no choice but to trust him needed him and he couldn't let him down.

"It's gonna be okay," Alec whispered with the lightest of breaths and stroked Sky's head to lessen the little bird's pain. "It's gonna be okay," he repeated but the dog man heard the tremor in his voice.

"Sky need something?" Joshua asked.

The rays from the setting sun lit the room in shades of red and orange and Alec thought maybe Mole was right. Sky belonged outside, not inside four walls with no air and no sun and no stars. Outside was all the little sparrow had ever known of the world and it was his one, true home. Sky looked up at him at that precise moment and things suddenly became clearer. It wasn't about what the transgenic wanted. It wasn't about holding on to something that wasn't his to hold on to. It was about acceptance and it was about letting go and Alec felt something inside him release.

The transgenic looked beyond the window and stroked the little bird's head but his throat was closing up and he barely got the words out.

"Let's go outside," he said softly and the dog man nodded in understanding and without a word, got the wheelchair and pushed them out.

**DA~DA~DA**

They sat under the cover of the evening sky and watched the ebb and flow of the clouds until all the light disappeared beneath the horizon. Joshua positioned his chair next to Alec's and they sat and listened to the sounds of the city. The transgenic kept Sky covered with his hand so the little bird wouldn't be startled by any of the loud noises. Eventually, the human sounds abated and the night deepened and the world quieted.

When the breeze whistled softly, Alec allowed it to ruffle Sky's feathers and was immediately rewarded with a peek from the tiny bird.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Alec asked and thought about the truth in those words. The transgenic hadn't been outside in a long time. His room had become his own self-imposed prison and he'd forgotten about the sun and the wind and the feel of rain on his skin. He had been consumed by his own dark thoughts for so long that he hadn't noticed what was right in front of him. If nothing else, he could be grateful to Sky for getting him out of his head and into the world.

But the world could be a cruel place and Sky still needed to be cared for so, when the night air chilled, Alec blew on the little bird to keep it warm. Joshua went inside to fetch them a blanket and laid it across the transgenic who tented it over the little sparrow cradled against his chest.

Alec and Joshua watched the rising crescent moon and the faint glimmering from the first stars that floated high above them. The world the transgenic knew seemed far away and he and Joshua talked late into the night.

Sometimes no words were required and they sank back in their chairs and stared up at the night sky. It was at such a moment that a shooting star streaked across their line of vision and Joshua let it be known it was customary to make a wish. The transgenic maintained he didn't know anything about making wishes but when the dog man insisted, he gazed down at the little bird and used his wish for Sky. Unbeknownst to the transgenic, Joshua made a wish of his own.

Throughout the night, Max and Sketchy and even Mole came out to check on them and bring them warm drinks. Not once did Alec give up his grasp on the little bird. Not once did he close his eyes afraid that if he fell asleep, the night and everything it held would disappear.

Just before dawn, Alec heard Joshua snuffle uncomfortably and the transgenic marveled at his friend's loyalty. Joshua was always there for him. Even in his sleep he stood guard and Alec felt a pang of shame at the way he had treated the dog man.

Sitting here with Sky and Joshua, everything felt uncomplicated and clear and yet Alec knew it wasn't this easy. It hadn't been for a long time. The real world was waiting for them. He looked down at the tiny bird resting in his grasp and didn't know how long this could go on. Then he sighed and watched transfixed as the first small rays of light began to illuminate the clouds above. The night he wanted so desperately to hold on to, began to fade and Alec clutched the little bird a little tighter to his chest.

"It's gonna be okay," he whispered and began to hum. It was a song that came to him like a distant memory. A song he couldn't quite place except it was about home and it made him feel safe and he hoped it would do the same for the sparrow.

When the sun broke over the horizon, Alec's heart sank a little. The perfect night was really over. Gone. _Forever_.

He bent and nuzzled the little bird and inhaled its essence. Sky smelled vaguely of mud and dried leaves and the woods and he tried to commit it all to memory but he was pulled away from that thought when he felt something wriggling in his hand. The transgenic's eyes widened and he pushed the blanket aside as he loosened his hold. Staring back at him were two bright, sunny eyes.

"Sky," Alec called out unable to disguise the hope in his voice. Joshua sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes while the little bird stuck its head up, looked around and shook out his feathers as if he was waking from a long sleep.

"Josh," Alec breathed excitedly and raised his hand to show the dog man.

Joshua stared as Sky sat contentedly in Alec's hand and sang happily to welcome the morning. He thought back to last night, to the falling star and it didn't really matter whether it was his wish or Alec's that came to be. It didn't matter as he listened to Sky's wild chirping. It didn't matter as he saw the golden flecks of sunrise reflected in Alec's eyes.

None of that mattered.

A new day had begun.

**DA~DA~DA**

Sky became an instant celebrity but it was Alec everyone came to see. The change in the transgenic was palpable and Max noted how he seemed to glow from the inside out.

Sketchy brought in some bread and water and Sky pecked hungrily at the toast and drank greedily from the bowl. When he was sated, the tiny bird flopped onto its stomach and Max and Sketchy oohed and aahed at the sparrow's cuteness. Meanwhile, Mole couldn't hide his grumpiness.

"Oh brother, you'd think they've never seen a bird," the lizard man muttered before he left having had his fill of sugar for the year.

"Don't listen to Mole," Alec scowled as he spoke to the sparrow, "he's a mean, old lizard." Sky chirped in response which made everyone laugh.

Max took it all in giddily and although it was the same room, everything looked different. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could breathe and she had the little sparrow to thank for that.

Sky closed his eyes and Alec picked him up and held him.

"You tired?" He asked before he yawned widely. "Me too," the transgenic added. When Joshua rubbed at his eyes, Max took that as her cue and gave Sketchy a sidelong glance. The ordinary guided Joshua out the door while Max turned back to Alec. She pushed the tray table away and pulled the blanket where Alec could reach it.

"You did good," she said and rubbed his arm. "You both did," she added and saw the swell in Alec's tired smile. Max patted Sky gently in thanks before she took one last look and left, her step and her heart a little lighter.

Sketchy returned to clean up and found crumbs all over the bed and floor. It reminded him of when Alec had first started eating on his own. He smiled at the memory, recalling how amazed they were at Alec's progress and how messy the transgenic was. Sketchy chuckled at the thought he might still find some peas if he looked in the far corners of the room but he stilled when heard a familiar sound. His smile widened and couldn't help himself.

"You're just like him," he blurted out as he heard the transgenic humming to the sparrow.

"Like who?" Alec asked sleepily.

"Joshua," the young man elaborated. "…when you sing to Sky."

Alec lowered his eyes and the ordinary worried he might have said something to anger the transgenic.

"Sorry, didn't mean anything by it," the young man whispered not knowing exactly what he was apologizing for. Alec continued to stroke the little bird's head but his eyes had dulled.

"I'm nothing like him," the transgenic said shamefully.

"You're being too hard on yourself. You're more alike than you think," Sketchy argued and moved next to the bed as he brushed a few crumbs off the blanket. "What you did for Joshua…he'll never forget and then he did the same for you."

"What are you talking about?" Alec asked confused.

"The transfusion."

Alec thought for a moment but he had no idea what Sketchy was talking about. "What transfusion?"

"That day..." Sketchy's face darkened not needing to elaborate any further. "You were bleeding out. Josh, he just jumped in, no hesitation, stuck out his arm before any of us even moved. He would have bled himself dry for you." The ordinary added truthfully.

"I didn't know." Alec confessed.

"How could you?" The young man reasoned and placed his hand on Alec's shoulder. "Don't sweat it, buddy."

But Alec was 'sweating it' because there was still so much he didn't know or couldn't remember. It made his actions towards the dog man seem even more horrible in the context of this new found information and it only confirmed what he already knew.

"Like I said, I'm nothing like him." The transgenic repeated. He turned away from the ordinary and closed his eyes to end the conversation but his brain kept twirling on that piece of information and Alec couldn't let go of the thought, couldn't stop thinking about it, and couldn't stop the shame from welling up inside his chest.

**DA~DA~DA**

Joshua lugged himself back into Alec's room at lunchtime. Two nights with hardly any sleep had exhausted the dog man but he couldn't rest without checking on Alec.

When he entered the room, he was disappointed but not surprised to find the transgenic awake, if barely and Sky next to him feasting on some left over bread. The dog man's concern grew as he approached and noted how pale and fidgety Alec was and the feverish tinge to his eyes. It was normal for Alec to spike a fever when he was overly tired but Joshua should have known the transgenic wouldn't rest if Sky was awake and he berated himself for not taking the little sparrow away.

It was only when Joshua palmed Alec's forehead that the transgenic realized the dog man had entered and Alec's brow furrowed into a pained expression when he tried to sit up.

"I, I..," the transgenic started haltingly, his voice rough. "I didn't…know."

Joshua could see the deepening layers of pain in Alec's eyes and it tore at his heart. The dog man could never bear to see Alec hurt or upset and all he wanted was to make it stop.

"Talk can wait. Alec need rest." Joshua said persuasively.

"I…no…," and the transgenic blinked slowly against the fatigue. "Josh…I…I… don't like me like this," Alec continued and the words seemed to open a chasm inside the dog man's chest and he didn't know what to say to that.

"I…d-don't want to this…to be like this," Alec said and Joshua saw the anguish and vulnerability in the transgenic's face and knew it would be impossible to get Alec off this track if he didn't allow him to say what he needed to say.

"Slowly," Joshua directed and the transgenic grunted in frustration and tapped his hand on his chest something Joshua hadn't seen him do in a long time.

"Alec," the dog man called and waited for the transgenic to hold his gaze. "Alec talk slowly, Joshua listen," the dog man said evenly knowing how tangled up Alec could get when he was distraught.

Alec's eyes skittered around the room nervously unable to settle on one spot then his hand went from his scars to the hem of his t-shirt to the sheet on the bed. He finally turned back to the dog man and swallowed a few times.

Sky stopped his pecking and sat on his haunches and watched attentively.

"I…I'm sorry…I want to say…I'm sorry, the way I treat you." Alec looked at the dog man apologetically and scrubbed at his face. "I don't know why, I don't...why I say…those things. Like, it's not me but it is. It's me, Josh, it's me." Alec said despondently and his hand twisted around the sheet.

"Not Alec's fault." The dog man said and Alec felt guilty Joshua would try to defend him.

"No, no. I know. I…S-Sketchy told me…the transfusion. I didn't know." Alec confessed. "I didn't know…I'm sorry," Alec gasped pleadingly.

"Alec has nothing to be sorry for," Joshua stated calmly.

"I don't want to be like this," Alec choked out remorsefully.

"I know," Joshua confirmed.

"I want to stop…stop saying those things...don't want that to be me," the transgenic swallowed hard and swiped at his eyes. His emotions were all over the place and Joshua just wanted him to rest a little but Alec wasn't done.

"I want to be better…I want to get better…I want to be a better friend."

Joshua's heart almost squeezed to a stop at the sincerity in the young transgenic's face.

"Alec can change," he added encouragingly.

"Please, Josh, please…," Alec said thinly and trailed off as his strength evaporated.

"Sleep now," Joshua ordered and placed his hand over Alec's chest trying to calm his friend. "You too, little one," he said to Sky. The sparrow looked up at the big dog man and chirped in acceptance. Alec sank into the pillows and fingered the hem of his t-shirt while Joshua placed the sparrow in its nest. The dog man moved towards the door and Alec continued to track his movements even though his eyes swam in exhaustion.

"Josh," Alec started again weakly. The dog man saw the uncertainty in his friend's eyes, saw the underlying doubt.

"Joshua come back," the dog man promised and he did dragging the cot behind him. He positioned it in its usual spot and went back to check on Alec who stubbornly refused to sleep.

"Josh, I, I, I'm sorry," Alec whimpered.

The dog man heard the plea in Alec's voice and sensed how much the transgenic needed to be forgiven. Joshua couldn't deny him, not this, even if he didn't believe forgiveness was required. He did it because this was the first step for healing a broken heart.

"Joshua accepts Alec's apology." He said slowly and Alec took a few shuddering breaths and swiped at his face.

"Transfusion…it makes us blood brothers, now." Alec said.

Joshua heard the heartfelt emotions in those words but couldn't help a heavy sigh as if the transgenic failed to comprehend the simplest of truths, as if the transfusion alone tied them together. He took Alec's hand and guided it over the scars and then over the transgenic's face, tracing the outlines of his eyes and nose and mouth exactly like the time Alec had stood in for him.

"Blood brothers before…" Joshua whispered reverentially and comforted his friend the only way he knew how. Alec felt himself drift and in this half waking state, he thought he heard a song that sounded like a distant memory. A song he couldn't quite place except it was about home and it made him feel safe. He closed his eyes and felt the weight of a huge paw across his chest. He wished he could dream of flying and this time, it wouldn't be so bad when he woke and it wasn't real. This time, it wouldn't hurt so much because Joshua would be there. Like now. Like _before_. Like _forever_.

…


	14. My Girl

Whatever it Takes – My Girl

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N:My muse enjoys your feedback…some of the scenes are written with particular readers in mind.

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

Mole picked up his breakfast and sat in the mess hall with the other denizens of TC. A look of disgust spread across his features as he stared at the plate which held a heaping spoonful of cold oatmeal, a squirt of ketchup, a spear of soggy broccoli and half a slice of toast - unbuttered.

_This is breakfast?!._

Even the growl from Mole's stomach couldn't make him take a bite and he hoped like hell, Alec wasn't getting the same meal because this was definitely not going to stimulate the kid's appetite. Sure, he was the one who preached about letting Alec stew in his own juices 'til he came to his senses and started eating again but the lizard man knew it wasn't that simple. Something in the kid's brain still hadn't clicked on and as voracious an eater as he was before now, he ate like a…oh no, he wasn't going to say it. Crap. Too late, he already thought it. B-I-R-D.

Mole huffed and muttered to himself while the other transhumans looked up to see who he was speaking too.

"What?" Mole barked. "Can't I speak to myself without the rest of you eaves dropping?" He groused and dropped his spoon onto his plate with a loud clang. The others returned to eating their breakfasts and Mole stared at his plate as if something else would materialize. It didn't and he knew the kid wouldn't eat this crap and now on top of everything else, that little bundle of trouble had shown up and Mole was certain Alec would give up his toast for that…that creature.

Mole growled at the thought. Then turned the piece of bread over, tapped it lightly against the plate to make sure it wasn't rock hard and shoved it into his pocket. He muttered to himself about stupid birds and stupider transgenics and how he always got himself suckered into whatever the kid had going on and how this was going to be the last time that little shit was gonna con him out of the best part of his meal. That's right, the last, friggin' time he told himself - until lunch. Mole got up and sneered at anyone that dared look at him and then tramped over to where they were preparing Alec's breakfast tray.

The X-7 scooping out the slop stared up at him and was about to say something but stopped when he saw the scowl on the lizard man's face. Mole dropped the bread on the tray ensuring it didn't touch any of the mush. He glared at the X-7, whatever the heck his name was, and pointed an accusing finger at him.

"And he better not find out where this came from," he threatened. The boy nodded back silently before he backed away cautiously and scampered, tray in hand, to the infirmary.

**DA~DA~DA**

Sketchy walked into Alec's room and set breakfast it on the tray table. The ordinary had hoped Alec would be more rested this morning but he still looked like hell, pale, with dark smudges under his eyes and his hair stuck out every which way. Sketchy couldn't tell if he just woke or had never slept.

The transgenic grunted in greeting and bit on his lower lip as he struggled to get his sock on. His one handed attempt was shaky at best and the ordinary was about to help when Joshua tugged at his arm and gave him a knowing look. Sketchy understood and left Alec to the task.

"Hey, where's Sky?" He asked and the little bird peeked out from the other side of the transgenic and chirped at the young man.

"And good morning to you too," Sketchy said with a wide smile and walked towards the bed. "I've got big news," he announced and Alec momentarily looked up at him.

"You gonna spill, or do we have to guess?" The transgenic demanded impatiently and pulled at the sock in frustration.

"Sky's a girl." Sketchy announced proudly.

"What?" Alec and Joshua said in unison.

"Look, I went to the library and got a book on birds," Sketchy said and pulled out a small paperback. "Figured we'd need to help if we were gonna take care of Sky." He flipped through the pages. "Here." Sketchy stopped and pointed. "It describes the male and female of the species and Sky is definitely a female." He pushed the book towards the transgenic and he leaned in to scan the page.

Both Joshua and Alec looked at the photo and then back to Sky, photo, Sky, photo, Sky. The little sparrow looked up at them curiously and cocked its head to the side and tried to figure out what they were doing.

"See there," Sketchy pointed to the photo. "Sky doesn't have the male colouring on her head."

"Sky's a girl," Joshua confirmed.

Alec smiled and picked up the sparrow and placed her on his chest. "I thought you were too pretty to be a boy." The transgenic stroked her head with his thumb and the sparrow wiggled her bottom and snuggled into him.

"That's my girl," Alec cooed.

"This book is great," Sketchy continued. "It has all kinds of information about food and shelter and anything you wanted to know about sparrows."

Alec grabbed it with his good hand and held down the pages with his casted arm. He flipped through, skipping the sections on robins and cardinals and humming birds. Then he opened up the back cover to the library's identification sticker. He smirked mischievously, tore it out and tossed the page to the floor.

"Guess they're not getting this one back," he wise cracked then looked at Sketchy. "We'll make a thief out of you yet," Alec declared. Sketchy beamed and Joshua pushed the breakfast tray towards Alec and watched as his eyes lit up.

"Looks like it's our lucky day, Sky," he said and took both slices of bread and smushed them up for the little sparrow.

**DA~DA~DA**

"I heard," Max said cheerfully as she entered the transgenic's room. "Should I tell Mole to get pink cigars?" she joked and moved to the side of Alec's bed.

"It's a good thing I gave her an ambidextrous name," Alec quipped.

"You mean unisex," Max corrected and Alec waved her off dismissively.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyways, I should have known she was a girl 'cause she always wants to sleep with me," Alec smirked and waggled his eyebrows.

"She's an innocent creature," Max defended and added, "Keep your thoughts clean." Sky peeked up at him with a look that screamed - 'SO not impressed' - and Alec's smirk disappeared.

"You girls gonna gang up on me, aren't you?" The transgenic glowered and Sky chirped.

"You are so whipped," Max smirked. "She's got you wrapped around her…little wing," she joked then looked pointedly at Sky's splint. "Speaking of which…how's the wing coming along?"

"Probably needs a few more days before we can take the splint off." Alec guessed and glanced up the Max.

"You wanna hold her," he offered and wasn't disappointed when her face lit up and she nodded excitedly. It had been a long time since he had seen Max smile and he thought sadly that was probably his fault. Alec scooped up the little bird and held her out and Max cupped both hands and gathered her, accepting his olive branch. Max held Sky close to her chest and kept telling the little bird how pretty and sweet she was and Alec couldn't argue with that.

Max rubbed her cheek against Sky and the little bird took it all in enjoying every caress. Watching them just brought home to Alec how much he missed…being touched. Sure he was constantly poked and prodded, pushed and pulled but it wasn't the same. Just wasn't and he missed it.

"I think she needs a bath." Max said and scrunched her face and picked some bits of mud from Sky's feathers.

Alec pulled out the book from the drawer next to his bed. "Well, let's see what the book has to say about that." He flipped the pages and Max approached and yanked it out of his hands.

"Where did you get this," she questioned suspiciously.

"Sketchy got it at the library," Alec responded innocently.

"He can't even read. Why would he be at the library?" Max asked.

"For Sky," Alec deflected. "Let's see what it says about baths." He grabbed the book from Max and flipped the pages until he found what he was looking for.

"Says here, sparrows _love _to bathe."

"You and me both, sister." Max said and then she smiled conspiratorially. "How about we get you all cleaned up?" Max handed the bird to a surprised Alec, grabbed an empty bowl and went over to the sink. She ran the faucet and tested the water before she poured a little into the bowl. Max sauntered over to the table by the window and placed the bowl in the direct sunlight.

"Wouldn't want you to catch a cold now." She added and smiled gleefully and Alec wasn't certain who would enjoy this more, Sky or Max.

"What about her splint?" Alec asked and Max already had an answer to that.

"We'll change it after she's fresh and clean." Max took the little bird and brought her over to the table and showed her the bowl. "Look Sky, your own private bath." Max ran her fingers through the water and flicked a few tiny drops towards the sparrow. Sky blinked and shook it off and chirped and hopped around excitedly.

"You want to get in?" Max teased and the tiny bird ran towards the edge of the table and chattered madly at Alec.

"She wants you to come watch," Max said and her mouth quirked into a sly smile.

"You girls go ahead and enjoy," Alec said not wanting to spoil their moment and Sky started twirling around and calling to him insistently.

"She really, really wants you here," Max said and laughed at the antics of the tiny sparrow. "C'mon, Alec," she whined and gave him an exaggerated pout.

Alec couldn't recall the last time his room was this alive. It was the only way he could describe it and he certainly couldn't take any credit. The only thing he could take credit for was the misery he put Max through over the last little while. The thought filled his belly with shame because he couldn't forget what he'd said. Yet, despite all that, Max was here, joking and trying to make him laugh when not so long ago, he had done everything in his power to make her cry.

When Max turned to look at Alec, she saw the ache in his faraway gaze and her own smile faded. Suddenly, she could feel the space between them and knew Alec couldn't bridge the gap on his own. Sky looked up at Max and chirped at her, pleading for her to make Alec come.

"Ok, ok. He's coming." Max whispered quietly as she tried to shush the little bird. She stroked Sky's head and gently pushed her away from the edge. Max walked over to the wheelchair and positioned it next to the bed. She gave Alec a slight smile as she extended her hand and offered him something he couldn't dare ask for. He swallowed hard at the bitter taste in his mouth, lifted his hand slowly, placed his fingers in her palm and met her half way. Max closed her hand around his but it was his heart she captured in her grasp and when she tugged experimentally, he didn't resist and let himself be pulled into a quasi-hug.

Alec felt the heat of her body next to his and her essence filled his nostrils. He inhaled deeply, breathed her in not because he hated the smell of wet dog, or stale beer or musty cigars, it was just that he loved the smell of women.

"I really want you to come join us," Max whispered into his ear. This time she was asking, not Sky.

The room fell silent and Alec was afraid this moment would end before he had a chance to make amends. He wanted to swallow back all the poison he had spewed at her. He wanted to beg for forgiveness. He never wanted to be the reason she frowned or cried. He never wanted to crush her heart again with his cruel words. He wove his arms behind her, closed his eyes and just hung on and she let him.

Alec didn't know how to say what was in his heart and in the end it was easier to simply state the truth.

"I don't hate you," he breathed into her neck. Max felt the wisp of his apology brush against her skin and into her heart and she held him closer and stroked the bar code at the nape of his neck. They stayed like this for a long while and then Max replied, simply and honestly.

"I know."

As if on cue, Sky called to them. After all, she still had a bath waiting for her. Alec inhaled one more time before he eased up and then Max shifted him into the wheelchair.

"Hold on there, missy," Max croaked as she straightened her hair and swiped at her eyes before pushing Alec to the table.

The transgenic held out his hand and Sky hopped on and he gently placed her in the bowl. The little sparrow sat in the water wiggled ,squirmed, shook out her feathers and flapped her good wing until there was more water on the table than in the bowl. Sky's playfulness was contagious and Max couldn't help giggling and laughing as she watched the little bird frolicking about.

Alec smiled and inhaled deeply. He didn't want to miss one second of this and he felt something lift from the pit of his stomach and he was lighter, buoyant like he might just be able to float away. But he didn't. He wasn't planning on going anywhere because there was nowhere else he wanted to be except right here with his girls.

**DA~DA~DA**

Sketchy pushed and pulled Alec's right leg as Sky walked drunkenly on the mats in the training room. The ordinary had convinced Alec that Sky needed some time in the training room to help her get her balance back. The weight of the splint was causing her to fall over on one side when she tried to walk and that was just as good an excuse as any to Alec back there as well.

"You're doing great, Sky" the ordinary encouraged and the little bird kept walking around and tipping over occasionally as she sank into the soft mats. Alec watched her pad around and paid little attention to what the ordinary was doing.

Sketchy tugged at Alec's sock to straighten it out. The transgenic finally managed to get it on his foot albeit with the heel on top. Sketchy smiled and pushed harder on Alec's leg trying to increase the range of motion. The transgenic groaned and the ordinary looked down apologetically forgetting how long it had been since Alec had exercised.

"Okay, time for a break," Sketchy declared and let go of Alec's leg. He got up and chased after Sky and the little bird chirped and hopped away.

"She's a fast one," Sketchy chuckled as Sky eluded his grasp. He finally caught up to her by the weights and scooped her up gently. "You playing hard to get?" Sketchy joked and waited for Alec to chime in with some kind of sexual innuendo.

The little bird began to chirp frantically and Sketchy put her down not sure what was wrong. She immediately scampered back to Alec and paced around him. The transgenic was just lying there, staring up at nothing and then he started to shake slightly and his eyes lost their focus and Sky tucked herself into Alec's neck.

Sketchy jogged over and thanked his lucky stars Alec was already on the floor when the seizure struck. It was a small one, more like zoning out as if Alec's brain was trying to reboot. Nothing he couldn't deal with.

The young man rubbed Alec's chest and waited for the transgenic to still and then Alec blinked up in confusion and exhaustion.

"You okay, buddy?" Sketchy asked but didn't expect a response. The transgenic felt around until he grasped the hem of his t-shirt but he quickly let go and probed around the floor.

"Sky's right here, buddy." Sketchy advised, scooped up the little sparrow, placed her on Alec's chest and guided the transgenic's hand until he felt the soft feathers between his fingers. "She won't leave you." Sketchy said and smiled. Alec calmed and continued to finger the little bird as his eyes drooped shut.

The ordinary looked over at Sky and marveled at the sparrow's reaction and how she seemed to know about the onset of the seizure before it happened. Maybe she had a sixth sense about these sorts of things.

"Maybe, we should call you Lassie." Sketchy teased and petted the little bird. He left the room for a minute and returned with a blanket and draped it over Alec's sleeping form. He sat on the mat and the little bird burrowed deeper and they both waited for the transgenic to wake up.

**DA~DA~DA**

Mole came to take Alec back to his room. Normally, all he needed to do was sit that bony ass in the wheelchair and push him back but that didn't seem to be an option today.

"It's been 30 minutes," Sketchy piped up worriedly as Alec breathed noisily and he tried to open his eyes. "He's usually up in about 20."

"Well, what do you expect?" Mole groused. "Look at him." Mole eyed Alec carefully. He looked like he'd been a prisoner of war for years. There wasn't one healthy looking spot on his body. He was all skin and bones, pale and transparent as if there was hardly anything holding him together. All you had to do was touch him and he bruised.

"He needs to eat," Mole specified and scrubbed at his face as he knelt beside the transgenic. Alec looked too young, no older than a twelve year-old. A deathly ill, twelve year-old and when Mole scooped him up, he was mortified that the cast felt like it weighed more than the rest of him.

"Yeah, well, he won't or can't…eat," Sketchy added glumly. The ordinary was just stating a fact but couldn't offer any solutions. The young man gathered the blanket and the sparrow and then whispered to Alec that he was going to be taken to his room and then Sketchy pushed the wheelchair out. Mole looked down at the kid once more.

"What are we gonna do with you?" Mole asked and tightened his hold but he already knew what he had to do because half a slice of toast wasn't gonna cut it.

Alec peered up. "Do with me?" He slurred in confusion and then tried to push away from the lizard man. "No basements," he pleaded.

Mole cringed.

"No basements," he confirmed and then added, "No one's gonna hurt you, kid." And brushed Alec's shaggy bangs away from his face. He wondered how the kid had let himself get so scruffy. It wasn't like Alec but then neither was this pile of bones he was holding. When Alec dropped back into never land, Mole stood up.

"Come on, let's get you to bed Sleeping Beauty," the transhuman teased and was relieved when he felt the kid clutch at his jacket and settle into his arms.

"Not a baby…can walk…" Alec protested without opening his eyes.

"You will," Mole said softly. "You will."

**DA~DA~DA**

Mole shared his concern about Alec's lack of eating with Max.

"I know what I said," Mole muttered when Max pointed him with a steely glare. "I'm not advocating we force feed him but there's something wrong with him. He doesn't eat. How's he supposed to get better?"

"What do you suggest?" Max asked and adjusted Alec's blanket and smiled down at Sky who snuggled next to him. Occasionally Alec's fingers would stroke the little bird or his eyes would flick open but he seemed unable to hold on to awareness for very long.

Mole scratched at his head. "The doctors and medics haven't given us anything new to go on. They keep saying to give it time and then they'll just want to jam some tube into him. He won't go for it." Mole mused. "We can't keep feeding him that crap we pass off as food. The only reason the rest of us eat it is because we're hungry and sometimes that's not enough." Mole complained and Max agreed silently.

"He needs something to get his appetite going or at least something he'll want to eat and not throw at the wall." "Mole stated.

"Yeah, Alec's idea of a balanced diet is a bag of chips." Max explained with a wan smile.

Mole raised his eyebrows. "Well, then that's a good place to start."

"What kind of a meal is that?" Max questioned irately.

"One he might actually eat." Mole deadpanned and crossed his arms. Max huffed and took Alec's hand in hers. He was so cold.

"Maybe, you're right?" She capitulated and Mole smiled at her admission.

"It's worth a try and you could continue to feed him the normal crap if it makes you feel any better." Mole conceded.

"Alright, you're in charge of this just don't let anyone know what you're doing or we'll have a full-fledged mutiny on our hands." Max admonished.

"No problem. No one will know." Mole promised and then gave the sparrow an evil look because no one not even that puny little…was gonna get between Alec and his food.

Sky regarded the lizard with a look of supreme boredom. Mole growled at her and Sky practically snorted with the knowledge the lizard didn't stand a chance against her with the transgenic. The lizard man pointed a finger at the sparrow and was about to say something threatening when he realized Max was staring at him.

"Never mind," Mole huffed and muttered angrily to himself as he tramped out of the room.

"What the heck was that all about?" Max questioned and looked knowingly at Sky. The little bird seemed to smile up at her as Max grabbed one of the dreaded knit hats and pulled it over Alec's head. She rummaged around until she found a hoodie and threaded Alec's arms through the sleeves before zipping him up.

"You're doing it…wrong," Alec whispered as his eyes slit open. Max tried to figure out if she'd dressed him backwards or inside out. Meanwhile Alec grinned mischievously as he watched.

"You're supposed to be undressing me not the other way around," he teased and closed his eyes again and never got to see her exaggerated eye roll or the feel of her hand on his cheek because almost as soon as he'd spoken, he was down for the count.

…


	15. Surrounded

Whatever it Takes –Surrounded

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews. amyleeymaeel the cotton candy's for you.

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

Sky hated being cooped up. She made it abundantly clear that staying in bed or in Alec's room all day was not an option. Sky would chirp and twitter until they got into the wheelchair and moved to the training room where she could walk around freely and attempt to lift herself off the ground. Alec would caution her that she couldn't fly just yet because of her injury and the splint but she paid no heed to him and kept trying, over and over again.

Alec was trying too. Every morning, he dressed and cleaned himself up refusing help from the others. It wasn't done spitefully it was just that Alec needed to do these things for himself. Sure sometimes his t-shirt was on backwards or he missed swaths of stubble when he tried his hand at shaving but he didn't care and no one else did either.

The transgenic was back to training full time allowing Sketchy to stretch and manipulate his limbs and then working with the weights and trying to walk. He couldn't use the bars just yet because of the cast so, Joshua would stand behind him and brace the transgenic with his arms. Alec would step forward with his left leg and Joshua who had placed Alec's right foot over his own, walked Alec's other leg forward in an imitation of a walk. When the transgenic had had enough, they would lie on the mats and watch Sky.

"She doesn't get frustrated," Alec mused, his eyes never leaving the little bird in her relentless attempts to get into the air. The sparrow hopped and flapped cheerfully and the transgenic couldn't understand it. Joshua sensed the unspoken question.

"Sky doesn't worry about what she can't do," the dog man explained. "Sky focuses on what she needs to do. All she knows is that if she flaps her wings, she'll fly and soon, she will," the dog man quantified, his eyes gentle and voice hopeful but not for the sparrow. "Then she'll know she was right to keep trying."

Alec looked at his friend. There was an underlying message for him in Joshua's explanation. Sure, his leg couldn't do what it was supposed to but if he kept telling himself he could walk and if got his body into a familiar position and kept trying to move his leg then it was just possible that the message from his brain would travel down his spine and into his leg. It might just work Alec thought and turned back to the sparrow; flap, hop, flap, hop. He was amazed at Sky's determination and he cheered her on with kind words because he couldn't bear the thought of admonishing the little bird for doing something that was so natural to her.

Minutes went by and the transgenic's smile grew because Sky refused to give up and then was struck with the realization that the dog man had never given up on him either. Alec couldn't even begin to know everything Joshua had done for him but he admired the little bird's resiliency and Joshua's loyalty. He grinned because his best friend and his best girl weren't quitters and he vowed he wasn't going to be one either.

**DA~DA~DA**

Mole was burning from the inside out.

That little shit was crumbling the crackers so he could feed them to that puny, little bundle of feathers.

The lizard man huffed and puffed in agitation because all he wanted to do was grab a hand full of crackers and ram them down the kid's throat. It didn't help that he kept thinking about how hard it had been to get those stupid crackers. After all, it wasn't like he could just waltz into a store and take what he wanted. He wasn't a welcome sight in the outside world. Add to that the fact that he couldn't enlist anyone from TC and there was no way he was teaming up with one the ordinaries and well, it took two days of planning and plotting and sneaking around the sewers to get one measly, friggin' box of crackers.

With each crackle, Mole's jaw snapped tighter and tighter. He was gonna use the fire burning in his belly to slowly roast Little Miss Wonderful until there was nothing but bones left and then he was gonna crunch those bones one by one. _Nice and slow_.

Mole grunted and snuck his hand in the box and stuffed a few crackers into his mouth because hell, he deserved it. The lizard man munched greedily, making soft sounds of pleasure before he flipped the box around and read the label – Ritz Cheese Crackers. _Not bad_.

"C'mon Sky, have one," Alec pleaded and the little sparrow looked up at Mole in understanding because Alec needed to eat these more than she did. Sky ignored the bits of cracker the transgenic pushed towards her and snuggled back into his side. The kid stared in confusion, grabbed the crumbs and sniffed at them before putting them in his mouth and chewing.

_Ummm. _They were good but maybe the processed cheese taste wasn't to Sky's liking. Alec reached into the box and pulled out a couple more crackers and Mole breathed a sigh of relief. Two friggin' crackers and the transhuman was ready to do the happy dance. He shoved the box into Alec's hands and glared at Little Miss Bird Brain one last time before leaving on another mission.

**DA~DA~DA**

Alec peered down over the edge of the bed and scratched his head. Sky looked up and chirped.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," the transgenic said pensively and tried to figure out how Sky was gonna get back up. Somehow, little missy managed to drop to the floor when she fell gracelessly from the bed. Alec had reached down and Sky had flapped her wings and hopped up in an attempt to meet him halfway but none of their efforts proved successful.

"I guess I have no choice," Alec mused, turned onto his stomach and wiggled his legs over the edge of the bed. He lowered his feet until they touched ground and before he had the chance to brace himself, the sheet he was holding came loose and he dropped to the floor, landing on his butt in a rather undignified manner.

"I guess we both need a little more practice with that," the transgenic chuckled and rubbed his backside and Sky jumped around in excitement. "There we are," Alec cooed and picked up the little bird and they cuddled for a minute. "I missed you girl," he whispered and kissed her head before he looked at her sternly.

"You coulda hurt yourself," he lectured lightly but couldn't go on when the little sparrow lowered her head in shame. "Ok, let's get you back up," Alec said and pulled himself to his knees. He placed Sky on the mattress and the sparrow looked down while Alec looked up, their roles now reversed.

"Give me a hand up?" He asked hopefully and Sky cheeped happily. "I see, I gotta get my own butt up there, is that it?" Alec huffed and tried to get a good hold on the bed. The transgenic took a moment to balance and then it took him a few attempts until he got his stomach over the edge of the mattress. Sky cheered him on all the while and Alec thought the training sessions were starting to pay off. He grabbed his right leg just below the knee and pulled it up and onto the mattress and finally managed to worm himself completely up. He fell back tiredly and smiled at his accomplishment until Sky hopped over the edge and back to the floor.

"So not funny," Alec grumped and Sky twittered naughtily from below.

**DA~DA~DA**

The next morning Sky scratched at the pieces of toast on the sheet. Her attempt was half-hearted at best and then she pecked at a morsel, shook it, broke it up and threw it back on the sheet. The little sparrow stared at the hard, dry crumbs before turning away and snuggling next to Alec's side.

"What's a matter, girl?" Alec asked worriedly and picked up a few crumbs and crunched them between his teeth before spitting them out. He had gone through the box of crackers and all he had to offer the little bird was the usual morning toast which had become very unappetizing for her.

"Urgh, taste like cardboard," Alec whined and Sky chirped in agreement. "How are you supposed to eat this?" Alec wondered and stroked the tiny bird. "We need to get you some real food. Can't let my girl go hungry now, can I?" Alec cooed. The transgenic swept the crumbs off his blanket and then suddenly brightened and pulled the book from the drawer next to the bed.

A few minutes later, Alec called Joshua and Sketchy into the room and told them they needed to plan a supply run. He read them the page stating how sparrows ate insects and grains and although there wasn't much they could do about insects, the grains should be doable. Alec was back in supply run mode and he sent Sketchy off to do some research. The ordinary knew well enough he could easily get the seeds without a supply run but it wasn't the point and he returned a short time later.

"There's a pet shop on Oak, west of 3rd," he said, pulled out map and handed it to the transgenic. Joshua and Sketchy allowed Alec to fumble with the folded sheet and then watched as the transgenic ran his fingers over the intricate design before his face creased in confusion. Alec stared at the map a few more seconds before he shoved it aside in frustration and Sketchy looked at him worriedly.

"Did I get the wrong map?" Sketchy asked and grabbed the folded sheet. Alec rubbed his eyes and leaned back dejectedly. He couldn't make sense of the grids on the page. He was overwhelmed by the visual cues and couldn't keep his thoughts focused. His brain felt jumbled like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle scattered about.

"I…you should map it out…" Alec whispered and then slammed his fist into the mattress, scaring the little sparrow. "Sorry," he mumbled apologetically and he stroked Sky's head.

"Hey, I failed geography three times in high school," Sketchy said. "This stuff's not easy." But Joshua understood Alec's frustration.

"Teach me," the dog man asked the ordinary and Sketchy caught on and stretched the map over Alec's legs. The young man identified and pointed out the 4 directions; north, south, east, west. Joshua went over Sketchy's instructions as if he was trying to learn a lesson but it was Alec who was staring intently at the map and silently repeating the words and trying to commit these to memory.

"Oak intersects 3rd. The numbered streets run north south. See?" Sketchy ran his fingers over the numbered streets. Joshua acknowledged and they gave Alec enough time to absorb the information.

"Let's find 3rd," Sketchy directed and Alec squinted to read the small print. It took a while but Joshua located 3rd with his finger once he was sure Alec had found it too.

"Good," Sketchy praised. "Now, Oak intersects 3rd. Let's find the corner of Oak and 3rd." Sketchy was careful to say the instructions slowly and Alec kept repeating them in order not to forget. Joshua ceded the map to the transgenic and Alec ran his finger along 3rd until it finally settled on Oak.

"There," Alec pointed and looked up at Sketchy.

"You got it buddy," Sketchy commended and Joshua patted Alec on the shoulder. They continued to plan, discussing the best route to get to the pet food store. Sketchy penciled in the sewer route on the map and left it with Alec and Joshua to study and decide when this was going to go down.

"I'm going," Alec stated and Joshua looked at him in surprise. The dog man's original reaction was no way and then he saw the determination in Alec's eyes and didn't want to squash it.

"Might be difficult," Joshua said.

"You're telling me?" Alec said bitingly and then regretted his tone. It wasn't Joshua's fault he couldn't get his ass out of bed. The transgenic scrubbed at his face and ran his hand to the back of his neck. "I'm tired of being here..."Alec started. "I really wanna go," he added dejectedly.

Joshua saw the longing in his friend's eyes. He saw the want and the need for something good, something new. Sky had been the first spark to get Alec moving in the right direction and now the dog man saw how hard Alec had trained during the last few days and how he needed this. Joshua didn't want to be the one to deny his friend.

"Ok. Alec come," Joshua confirmed and saw Alec's face lighten until the dog man went to retrieve the wheelchair.

"We can't use that," the transgenic motioned. "How are we going to navigate stairs and the sewers?" He asked and Joshua returned to Alec's side, sat on the bed and huffed at the fact. The transgenic fell back into the pillows. "Tired of the wheelchair…" he mumbled.

Joshua looked at the transgenic and then back to the wheelchair. The dog man toed the chair gently. "Stupid chair," he grumbled and pushed it until it rolled to the far wall. Alec looked up at him in surprise and the dog man grinned sheepishly. "Hop on?" He asked and patted his shoulder and Alec smiled and nodded and swung his arm around Joshua's neck. The dog man grabbed Alec's legs and hoisted him onto his back.

"Ready?" Joshua asked.

"Ready," replied Alec and adjusted his hold. Joshua stood and peered back and piggy backed Alec to the training room and all around the infirmary to get him used to the feeling and making sure he could hold on easily.

They planned their supply run for the next day. Max and Mole knew what was going on even if Joshua or Sketchy didn't let on with the transgenic. It wasn't that Alec wanted to keep secrets, he just wanted something to go right before letting the others know. In any case, it wasn't much of a supply run and there really wasn't anything to worry about.

They started out first thing in the morning with Sky riding alone in Alec's hoodie. She peered out from time to time but didn't make a fuss, just took it all in stride even when she spotted Mole and Max following them from a distance like parents tracking their kids on the first day of school.

Joshua and Alec waited for Sketchy down below while he went up to get the goods. Rather than being disgusted by the foul smell and the putrid puddles of water, Alec reveled in it. He was just so excited to be out of the infirmary that he swore he would never complain about going through the sewers again. A few minutes later, Sketchy returned and they made their way back to TC, no one else the wiser. The whole thing took less than an hour and Alec wished he could have stayed down there longer.

As soon as they got back to TC, the transgenic tore into the bag and watched proudly as Sky ate to her heart's content. When Max and Mole came by, he recounted the tale of their supply run and Joshua and Sketchy teased him and aggrandized the story until it had become the adventure of a lifetime. They all laughed so hard that tears leaked from their eyes and Alec embraced the moment, sat back and let himself be surrounded, truly and completely by his friends. The transgenic couldn't help it if he wore a stupid grin the rest of the day and for once, Max was glad he couldn't hide his true feelings behind a mask.

**DA~DA~DA**

Sky's splint and Alec's cast were removed on the same day. They flexed their limbs experimentally and were back in the training room almost immediately. Sky tried her wing out first. She hopped and flapped but still couldn't get off the ground and Alec checked her wing worriedly and fussed over her. Truth be told, Sky could have flown if she really wanted to but she didn't want to get too far ahead of the transgenic. Instead, the little bird ceded her place in the training room to the transgenic and sat quietly with Joshua allowing Alec to focus on his own progress.

The transgenic was back to working on the bars. Alec kept repeating to himself that he knew how to walk, knew had to take a step, knew how to balance and hold his weight up. With every attempt, he pushed a little harder willing his leg to move and when it didn't, he'd stumble and fall. Soon, he began sporting new war wounds in the form of a split lip and bruises on his arms and legs. When Max noticed them, she would brush her fingers over the welts disapprovingly, worried Alec would hurt himself seriously. But, the transgenic shrugged her off because he didn't want to hold back and each time he fell, he picked himself right back up and started over again.

All this exercise was making him hungry and he thanked his lucky stars the supply runs at TC seemed to be garnering better food. Chips and cookies started showing up on his meal tray. Eating more meant he was starting to regain energy and strength and working out even harder. He even heard his stomach growl and covered it with his hand and wondered what was for lunch today.

Mole came in holding the meal tray with a plate full of carrots and peas and Alec turned up his nose at the colorful but unappetizing looking lunch.

"Is that it?" He asked disappointed and then Mole looked around before he pulled a couple of bags from the inside his jacket. Alec couldn't help the smile that broke across his face as he stared at the cotton candy and jelly beans the lizard man held out and Mole thought the kid was gonna explode he looked so happy.

"Yeah, the circus was in town," Mole lied and handed the goods to the kid. "Make sure you eat some lunch or Max will tan my hide. You hear?" Alec nodded but kept his eyes on the multi-coloured beans and the electric blue cotton candy.

"I'm coming back to check so, don't mess with me," Mole threatened before leaving. Alec didn't bother with the vegetables. He tore into the bags of candy and his face melted into pure bliss as he chewed on the gooey beans. He offered Sky some cotton candy and she took a mouthful and swallowed the most delicious food she'd ever eaten. She lunged hungrily for the sugary treat and ripped huge chunks from the bag.

"Easy girl, you'll get sick." Alec warned then tore a strip of the blue candy and stuffed it into his mouth. "First, let's get rid of this," Alec said and pointed to the peas and carrots. Alec dumped at least half of the vegetables into an empty bowl and then opened the drawer and hid it.

"You won't snitch on me, will you?" Alec asked while he ate a handful of jelly beans. Sky hid her head under her wing in an imitation of see no evil and the transgenic smiled as he chomped the beans down.

By the time Mole returned, Alec's fingers and lips were painted blue and he lay back, rubbing his belly lazily in contentment. Mole smiled when he noted some of the veggies were gone and was about to pick up the tray when he saw a blue tinge on little Miss Trouble's beak. The realization hit the lizard man like a ton of bricks and he snatched the bird in one rapid motion and held her inches from his nose.

"I warned you," he growled threateningly and Sky squirmed and cheeped wildly while Alec grabbed Mole's arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" The transgenic yelled angrily and Mole got himself under control and smiled guiltily.

"Thought I saw something," the lizard man stated vaguely and opened his hand to release the creature. Sky glared at him angrily but didn't move to get back on the bed. Instead, she turned her back to Mole, lifted her tail feathers and dropped a gob of blue poop in the lizard man's hand.

Mole stood there stunned and then Sky hopped onto the bed and hid behind Alec.

"Why you little…" Mole muttered and Alec couldn't stifle a giggle. Sky peered up and looked at Mole innocently and then twittered happily. That stupid bird brain was laughing at him.

"You got a mouth on you just like him," Mole snarled and clenched his hand into a fist before realizing what he had done…_shit, _literally. He stared down at his closed hand and then saw the matching smirks on dumb and dumber. The lizard man stalked out of there like his pants had caught fire.

Twenty minutes later, Mole had calmed down enough to go back and collect the meal tray. He promised himself he wasn't going to let the dynamic duo get to him until he heard groaning coming from inside the room.

"Now what?" He wondered and rolled his eyes as he made his way in. Alec was curled up on his bed, sweating and moaning and clutching at his stomach. Mole approached and saw the pain in the kid's eyes.

"What's wrong?" Mole asked and saw bird brain sprawled next to him.

"Stomach hurts," Alec croaked and Mole grabbed the empty bags.

"You think this had anything to do with that?" The lizard man asked.

"Washroom," Alec begged and clutched at Mole's sleeve.

"Okay," Mole soothed and sat the kid up. Alec looked whiter than the sheets then closed his eyes tightly and doubled over as a fresh wave of cramps hit him. Mole listened to the pitiful moans as he kept the kid from falling to the floor.

"You gonna be sick?" Mole asked and Alec shook his head no but then the lizard man heard an inhuman sound coming out of that skinny little shit and knew he was done for. Alec erupted because that was the only way you could describe the rainbow of coloured chunks that came shooting out of his mouth.

"Not this again," Mole muttered and Alec kept at it for a while until he was empty and spent. Mole sighed and stared down at the mess running down his legs and realized there were no peas or carrots in the mix. The lizard man berated himself for trusting the kid to eat 'real' food and Alec moaned and burped loudly before he pushed him back on the bed. The kid swiped at his mouth and kept muttering something about no more circuses.

The lizard man groused as he got to work wiping the floor of the result of all his hard work and labor. When he was done, he looked down at his pants and then at the kid's ashen face and swore he would never get jelly beans or cotton candy again.

**DA~DA~DA**

Instead of training, Alec and Sky sat by the window that afternoon and watched the darkening skies. Every once in a while, Alec would emit a soft burp and then clutch at his stomach at the return of the bittersweet taste invading his mouth. The transgenic was glad the day was overcast because the thought of looking at something blue made his insides turn. Alec closed his eyes, slumped forward on the table and rested his head on his arms. He peered over at Sky who was lying quietly in her nest. Neither of them was in the mood for talking.

Occasionally, the transgenic would finger his right leg, alternately pinching and then massaging it. Alec had never lost the feeling in the leg. Despite all his manipulations and training he could hardly move a muscle and he felt the old frustrations welling up in him. Sensing his dark mood, Sky hopped out of her bowl and walked right up to his face.

"What you doing, girl?" He asked and allowed her to peck at the hair curling around his ear. She had taken to grooming him and he smiled as her soft feathers tickled his neck. "You think I need a haircut?" Alec asked. He had let his hair grow out to cover his scars. He didn't want people to stare, to have that be the first thing they saw when they looked at him. But then, the thought was dumb because how could they miss the stupid wheelchair or the seizures.

Alec eased Sky away, lifted his head to look outside and stared at the building across the street. The little sparrow tried to draw his attention away by pecking playfully at his hands and Alec's fingers reflexively stroked the little bird even though his eyes were transfixed by something far away. Eventually he turned his attention back to the sparrow and cupped her in his hand. Sky snuggled contentedly and closed her eyes willing the transgenic to do the same but Alec couldn't sleep and he continued to gently massage her injured wing, feeling the contour of the bone and smoothing down the feathers.

Sky's wing was completely healed and the transgenic hadn't missed how the little bird glanced out the window from time to time. The little sparrow was being drawn back into her world, the one outside these four walls.

Alec stared up at the building across the street. It was still unattainable, still a million miles away for him. But not for Sky and without a doubt, whatever had brought them together, was about to unravel and pull them apart.

...


	16. Be Brave

Whatever it Takes –Be Brave

What does it take to get someone back?

A/N: A few reviewers have hinted at the possibility of Sky's demise – what kind of a writer do you think I am? Okay. In all honesty, it did cross my mind but you'll have to read on to see how it plays out.

Don't own anything related to Dark Angel. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you to all the reader, reviewers and followers.

Enjoy

**DA~DA~DA**

Max had stopped breathing. Not because she couldn't but because she didn't want one molecule of air to shift if it might tip the balance against Alec. Sky sat on her shoulder and stopped grooming herself. Joshua moved behind her and stood quietly. It felt like the air in the room was electrified and her hands twitched with the need to reach out and make this happen for Alec.

Sketchy and Mole had helped the transgenic to a standing position, placed the crutches under his arms and then stood by his side and waited.

Alec gripped the handles tightly and then straightened up. His nervousness was apparent and the transgenic balanced and then shifted his weight from side to side, testing his strength and equilibrium. Mole ghosted a hand behind his back, ready to react if required.

"Here goes nothing," the transgenic huffed and moved the right crutch forward. They all waited to see if his right leg would follow but it didn't so, instead Alec shifted and moved his left side, crutch then leg. He stopped, stared down and after a beat, dragged his right leg behind him.

Sky chirped and Alec looked up and smiled at her encouragement then his eyes met Max's and he saw a mixture of excitement and hope. It was intoxicating and he felt pulled towards it. He kept going, crutch, step, crutch drag until he stood before her, breathing heavily, muscles trembling and swaying slightly. Max stepped forward, grabbed him around the waist to steady him and was pleasantly surprised to feel a hint of flesh over bone.

"Always trying to feel me up," Alec breathed and grinned.

"How was it?" Max asked softly, ignoring his glib remark and verifying the crutches to make sure they were the right length.

"Piece of cake," Alec panted.

The contradiction between Alec's words and his effort caused Max to really look at him. Instead of seeing him as he was now, she was drawn back to a memory that filled her with an indescribable ache.

In her mind's eye she saw a carefree Alec strutting into Jam Pony. He was all arrogance and cockiness and his lanky frame moved with ease and fluidity. He wore his trade mark smirk and exuded self assurance with every step. He shone so bright, his entrance had made heads turn. She knew because she had seen it with her own eyes, gazed upon him when he was strong and sure of himself. When he possessed everything that made him a star. It had attracted her and scared her all at the same time and she had hated him for it and put him down at every opportunity.

That was a lifetime ago.

Now, nothing was easy for Alec. His movements were strained, hesitant and uncertain. He didn't look at all like the handsome, young man who had the world by its tail on that long ago day. Alec looked like he had gone to war and had come out on the other side, worse for wear but alive.

_Alive_. She couldn't forget how that was all she dared hope for when he was dragged into TC as good as dead. But as the days wore on, she wanted so much more for him. For all of them. She recalled how painful it was to watch him fight to open his eyes, to hold his head up or utter his first word. Back then, she could have never dreamt of a moment like this and her eyes glistened with pride and awe at those three, jerky, uncoordinated and completely impossible steps.

"You're a star," she breathed lightly, not wanting to miss the opportunity to tell him. Although she didn't think it possible, Alec beamed even brighter and his eyes reflected a strength and determination that dazzled her. She knew, because she saw it with her own eyes and while she conceded that something of the old Alec was lost, it had been replaced by something else, something profound and immeasurable.

**DA~DA~DA**

Sky had started to lift off the ground and fly short distances. She fluttered from the bed to the window, to the floor and back to the bed. Alec encouraged her but when she stayed away for too long, he'd call to her and she'd fly back no matter where she was. They were inseparable, taking care of each other and egging each other on during training. Sky liked to play tag, teasing the transgenic, flying to and fro and allowing Alec to catch up to her whether he was in his wheelchair or on crutches or using the bars.

During alone time, Alec would talk to her, allowing himself to voice some of his most private thoughts. Thoughts he didn't feel comfortable sharing with anyone else. Sky would listen and Alec was certain she understood everything he said. The transgenic always felt better once he had spoken the words and voiced the thoughts that worried him most. It helped him realize things weren't so bad.

In the mornings, the little bird always woke before Alec and usually got him up by chirping in his ear and then grooming him fastidiously. But the last two mornings the transgenic woke to find Sky by the window. So absorbed was she by the outside world, that she failed to respond to his call. Alec managed to get himself out of bed and into his wheelchair and pushed himself towards the window.

"What are you looking at girl?" He questioned and stared out with her as he stroked her feathers. A few moments later, a sparrow landed on the sill outside. Alec recognized the markings, it was a male. Sky stared at it and chirped and the male sparrow chirped back. The little birds approached the glass and pressed themselves against it and Alec realized they knew each other. Sky snuggled against the barrier separating them and Alec saw the look in her eye and a strange feeling came over him until he realized this was her mate.

Alec felt something tug at his heart and he reached up, unlatched the clasp and lifted the window open. The other sparrow startled and flitted away quickly and Alec held his breath and waited to see what Sky would do. The little bird approached the opening but didn't go outside.

"That's your fellow, huh?" Alec asked but knew the answer already. He swallowed hard before continuing. "You're all better now. I'll understand if you want to go."

The little bird walked back towards the transgenic and Alec reached out to her.

"You'll let me know when it's time, right?" The transgenic asked and Sky stared up at him and then turned back to look outside. Alec saw how cheerless she had become.

"How about a nice bath?" The transgenic asked, knowing it would lift her spirits. Alec wheeled away, got her bowl and some water and returned to place it on the table. He waited until she stopped staring outside and hopped into his hand. He placed her in the water and played with her until her mood lightened. After she was done, the transgenic bundled her in a soft towel, hummed to her and held her close as they sat and watched the outside world together.

**DA~DA~DA**

It was the shrill chirping that got their attention. Sketchy knew all too well what it meant. He hardly had time to yell out Alec's name. Mole, on instinct alone, spun around and grabbed the kid's arm and yanked him up hard, a second before Alec would have smacked his head on the floor. The kid dangled like a rag doll in Mole's grip before the lizard man kicked the crutches aside and laid the transgenic on his side.

_That was friggin' close._ Mole thought and then berated himself for having turned away for a couple of seconds. The lizard man moved aside and let Sketchy takeover. Mole never knew what to do when the kid was jerking about, eyes unseeing and breaths ragged.

The little bird hopped around worriedly and then tucked herself into Alec's side when he quieted. The transgenic blinked rapidly, awareness returning slowly as his hand darted around. Sketchy placed the tiny bird in Alec's palm and the transgenic held her lightly while the ordinary used the hem of his t-shirt to wipe the drool and spit around Alec's mouth.

The lizard man didn't miss the scared looked in the little bird's eyes and the way she watched the kid like he was about to disappear. Mole grabbed a pillow from the bed, slipped it under the transgenic's head and felt how unforgiving the concrete floor was. He shuddered to think what might have happened had he not reacted in time. Once Alec drifted off, Mole picked up the little bird and felt her still racing heart against his fingers. He could relate because he was still shook up by what had just happened.

"I know, it sucks," Mole muttered to the tiny sparrow. "But he's gonna be okay." Nevertheless, the lizard couldn't help thinking and worrying about the next time or the time after that. He placed the bird on the tray table and returned to lift the kid off the hard floor and lay him in bed. Sky immediately scurried onto Alec's chest and the lizard man took the kid's hand and placed it over her. Mole watched as Alec's fingers twitched and smoothed Sky's feathers and the little sparrow snuggled deeper and kept an eye on the transgenic. Mole let out a long breath and thought the kid was damn lucky Sky was around this time.

**DA~DA~DA**

"The doctor said…" Joshua tried.

"I don't care what the doctor said," Alec snapped and ran his hand over his scars.

"…it's normal," the dog man finished and Sky stared from her perch beside the transgenic.

"Normal?" Alec questioned bitterly. "I don't see anyone else falling over like a sack of potatoes."

Joshua eyed the transgenic carefully. He wanted to calm him and get him away from the dark thoughts pulling him under. Sky did too and she pecked at him lightly. Alec pushed her away and she scurried closer to Joshua.

"You'd think I'd be able to tell when my brain is about to betray me," the transgenic argued and pulled at his t-shirt nervously. "I'm just so messed up…can't figure out a map, can't walk or dress myself half the time…stupid..." Alec's insecurities were surfacing again.

"Stop," Joshua said sharply and the transgenic looked up, eyes wide at the dog man's tone. "Alec not stupid," Joshua said gently.

"Of course, I'm stupid. I shoulda used something other than my head to stop that bullet," Alec whispered sullenly.

Joshua frowned and looked away, "Alec regret saving Joshua?" He asked softly.

"What? No. Never," Alec replied quickly. "Don't ever think that," the transgenic pleaded.

"Alec," Joshua started in a low voice. "Everything happened so fast. Too fast for Joshua."

"You don't have to," Alec whispered guiltily because Joshua was trying to take responsibility for what happened.

"Joshua want Alec to know what happened," the dog man stated resolutely and waited until the transgenic looked up at him and scratched at his bar code nervously.

"I really don't…"Alec rasped, his throat closing quickly but Joshua wouldn't be swayed.

"This time Joshua talk. Alec listen."

The transgenic turned away knowing he couldn't stop Joshua and not wanting to see the pain in his friend's eyes as he relived the nightmare of that day.

"Alec and Joshua went on a supply run. Alec teaching Joshua knock-knock jokes along the way." Joshua's face lit up and he smiled for a brief moment at the recollection. Alec couldn't remember any of this but a faint smile tugged at his mouth at the fact it didn't take much to make Joshua happy. Then just as quickly, the light faded from Joshua's eyes.

"Someone yelling," the transhuman stated solemnly. "Joshua froze."

"I should have been on the lookout…" Alec said feeling guilty but Joshua ignored his argument.

"Joshua didn't move. Didn't run. Didn't fight." The transhuman looked at Alec sadly, clearly faulting himself for what happened next.

"Josh, please…"Alec tried once more. He couldn't stand it if Joshua blamed himself because it was his job to take care of Joshua.

The dog man's large eyes clouded over.

"The ordinary was not right," Joshua motioned to his head, making the sign for crazy. "Alec tried to reason with him but the ordinary pulled a gun. Ordinary too far to get to so Alec yelled but Joshua too scared to move. Then bang." The dog man made the motion for a gun with his thumb and index finger and stopped speaking, lost in his own guilty memories.

"You said it yourself, it happened so fast you couldn't have moved." Alec tried to appease his friend.

"Alec moved, pushed Joshua. Alec saved Joshua's life." The dog man looked at his friend with deep respect for the purposeful actions of that day.

"It was instinct, Josh. Nothing else."

"Alec the bravest person I know," Joshua said.

"Anyone would have done the same thing," Alec said. The dog man shook his head slowly and reached up to Alec's scars.

"Not only brave for the bullet. Alec brave after."

Alec turned away, hoping Joshua would stop. The transgenic didn't feel brave or praiseworthy. He was a burden and he hated himself for being so needy and useless.

"Alec on the ground. Joshua saw blood, got scared." The dog man's words were barely audible.

Alec hated that Joshua felt responsible. "That doesn't matter, Josh. You brought me back to TC. You saved my life." Alec said to console his friend.

"Not right away." Joshua looked up with watery eyes. "Thought the ordinary was coming back. Joshua scared. Alec tried to speak."

"Me?" The transgenic said doubtfully and Joshua nodded.

"Alec awake but couldn't move. Saw Joshua was scared. Tried to tell Joshua -'Go'."

"But you didn't go." Alec said his voice cracking.

"No," The dog man confirmed. "Joshua stay, not leave Alec."

Joshua's words cut a path right to Alec's heart and the transgenic closed his eyes to contain the surge of emotions. The first rule of any mission was to leave fatally wounded soldiers behind. They were liabilities and as useful as used shell casings. Every soldier understood this. Maybe, that's why Alec never got close to any of the other members of his unit, not when he might have to cut his losses and leave them behind.

"Alec couldn't move, couldn't run. Couldn't save himself but Alec tried to save Joshua," the dog man said and stroked the scars.

The dog man's touch plunged the transgenic into a dark hole, into a memory. Alec was back in the sewers. His vision swirled between light and dark and he could only make out shapes and shadows. He recognized the faint outline of Joshua looming over him but something awful must have happened because Joshua was whimpering horribly.

Suddenly, the transgenic's nostrils were invaded by an acrid odor, a combination of singed hair and burnt flesh. He gagged and tried to move away but he couldn't turn his head, couldn't get up or speak and he felt simultaneously disconnected and weighed down by his body. It was the lack of control and his inability to protect Joshua that scared Alec most and his heart hammered furiously against his ribs. With each passing second, the transgenic became more disoriented unable to hold on to his thoughts until they tumbled away and all he wanted was to get Joshua away from here. He started to tell him but the words were caught in his throat and then there was a flash of light behind his eyes and a burst of pain on the side of his head, searing and unbearable. He became weightless and solid at the same time and then it was all slipping away and he was overwhelmed by fear and then nothing.

"Alec the bravest person I know," Joshua reiterated reverentially.

Alec blinked away the memory and swallowed hard because he didn't have the words to tell Joshua he was wrong. Alec wasn't the brave one. Alec had been terrified. It was Joshua who showed true courage. It was Joshua who made a conscious decision to remain with Alec despite the danger to himself, despite his fear. Joshua's actions weren't based on instinct or training or reflex. They were based on loyalty and devotion and Alec finally understood why Manticore looked down on such sentiments between soldiers.

The transgenic bit down on his lip and choked back the tears threatening to slip down his cheek.

_Joshua stayed_.

In his time of need, Joshua stayed.

"Thank you," Alec whispered hoarsely, unable to elaborate. It was all could manage before he folded into Joshua's embrace and the dog man smiled thinking Alec had accepted his compliment.

**DA~DA~DA**

Mole sauntered into Alec's room proudly holding aloft the breakfast tray laden with the croissant he had snagged on his last run. This wasn't just any croissant. This wasn't the crappy supermarket breakfast pastry. No, this croissant was buttery gold, pinched from an honest to goodness pastry shop. The lizard man cleared his throat, readying to announce his presence in a loud and obnoxious manner when he stopped because the transgenic was sleeping.

Mole frowned and checked his watch. _The kid shoulda been up by now_. The lizard man carefully placed the meal tray on the table. He still couldn't get used to the fact that Alec hardly woke when someone came into his room. The old Alec would have had him by the throat and up against the wall by now.

Mole leaned to get a closer look and understood why the transgenic wasn't up. Despite a full night's sleep, Alec looked tired and he worried this was an after effect of the seizure. Mole noted the dampness of Alec's unruly bangs and the flush of red on his cheeks. He was about to check the transgenic's temperature when Sky popped up from her bowl and startled him. Mole stepped back, caught in the act.

"Just checking on him," Mole grumbled in explanation. _To a bird._

Sky hopped closer to Alec but didn't bother to wake him either. Instead, she watched as the lizard man self-consciously brushed his hand over Alec's arm. The little bird looked up expectantly and Mole had no choice but to update her.

"Just a little warm," Mole mumbled feeling stupid for even telling her this. The little bird sighed and came closer. She looked between Alec and Mole several times until she stopped on the lizard man and stared at him imploringly. Mole frowned at the implication.

"Of course, I'll watch over him," he said gruffly.

The kid moaned and then twitched and his eyes fluttered semi-open but he wasn't awake and Mole wasn't certain whether he was caught in a dream or some kind of seizure. Sky immediately hopped on Alec's chest and snuggled over his heart, letting him know she was nearby. The transgenic's hand moved up and despite the small spasms that gripped him, he managed to brush his fingers over her. But Alec's brain was still caught in some kind of dream or vision and his eyes flicked around. Mole took his cue from the little bird and palmed Alec's forehead and shushed him until whatever had a hold on him let him go and the kid sank back into sleep and his breaths grew deeper.

Mole sighed, glad it was over and then looked over at the little bird. He saw that determined look in her eye and how she was full on Alec watch and he knew she'd stand guard as long as required.

And Mole got it.

The kid needed her more than Mole had been willing to admit. Sky had forged her place in the his heart and Alec in hers. She was both good to him and for him.

Mole could work with that.

Once he was certain the kid was resting soundly, he tore off a piece of croissant, ripped into tiny prices and set it aside for the little bird.

"If you're hungry…"Mole mumbled and the sparrow looked at him but didn't move from her spot. "Just make sure he eats the rest," Mole added.

Sky twittered softly and the lizard man scowled until he realized she was teasing him about eating it all. He'd been had._ Again_. _And how the hell did he know what she was saying?_

He glanced over at the transgenic and he knew how.

"Got a mouth on you just like him," he snorted but couldn't quite pull off the gruff act as he muttered to himself and walked out the room, a small smile tugging at his lips.

**DA~DA~DA**

Every day, Alec got a little better with the crutches. Stronger, able to hold himself up longer and travelling a little further each time. He had visited every room in the infirmary and Max had encouraged him to go the TC as well, but he was self-conscious about the crutches and the way he dragged his right leg and how he looked. Max knew the longer he waited, the harder it would be to face everyone but Alec couldn't do it just yet. He wasn't ready for the the stares and the questions and the pity. Not yet.

But being able to get around in his room and do things for himself gave him a sense of independence and hope and Max could see the day was coming when he would be able to move out of the infirmary.

She had spoken with the medics and unbeknownst to the transgenic, had started preparing a place for him on the ground floor of the apartment building. Mole and Sketchy had moved all of his belongs from his old place to the new one and they had adapted some of the rooms for his needs. Joshua took the second bedroom at Alec's place and Max and Sketchy took the apartments on either side. They were going to surprise Alec as soon as the medics gave their okay.

Max had tried to broach the subject with the transgenic a few times but he balked at it and Max didn't push. She knew the thought made him nervous. All he'd known for months was his room in the infirmary. TC was a foreign place with lots of obstacles and people who knew him from before, knew the old Alec. It was a lot to contemplate and Max and the others were in no hurry to push Alec into anything he didn't want. But more than a place to live, Alec needed a job. Something to do.

"How about overseeing the supply runs? You know, radio contact, maps, planning, etc.?" Max asked hopefully. Alec shook his head remembering the difficulty he had with the map.

"How about organizing the storage areas and keeping track of the inventory." Alec made a disgusted face and Max scowled as she tried to think.

"How about training the X-6's?" No reaction.

That was Max's first clue that Alec was interested and she was about to continue when a sparrow flew onto the window sill outside and chirped. Sky peered up from beside the transgenic and watched the little bird at the window.

"Who's that?" Max asked surprised and was about to get up when Alec's hand grabbed her arm and held her. The transgenic looked at Sky.

"Go ahead, girl." He encouraged half-heartedly and the tiny bird looked up at him before flying to the window. The male sparrow strutted and paraded around for Sky. He pulled at some grass and twigs he held at his feet. He was showing off for her. Showing her how he was going to build a nest. For her.

And Alec knew he couldn't compete with that and anyways, he didn't want to. It wasn't fair to Sky and he never intended to have her stay for good. So, this was finally it. The moment Alec had been dreading for the last few days. The little bird looked back at Alec sadly and Max was confused by the silent conversation.

"What's wrong?" Max asked.

"Nothing's wrong," Alec croaked, trying to be brave. "It's what's supposed to be."

The male sparrow chirped excitedly and then flew off. Sky watched him for a long time and Alec didn't bother to call to her. Her heart was already out there, in the outside world. The transgenic cleared his throat.

"Sky's leaving," he started and Max stared at him questioningly. "Tomorrow," Alec added and Sky turned to him, hesitated a second and then flew back. Max looked between them.

"How? Why?" She asked dumbfound.

"Sky needs to get back to her life." Alec said quietly. "It's time. Right, girl?" He questioned just to be sure and Sky nestled into him but faced the window. That was all the answer he needed.

Max felt the air leave the room. In her heart of hearts, she knew Sky would one day leave but she wasn't ready and she worried what this would do to Alec.

"You need anything?" Max asked and Alec shook his head no. She headed for the door and looked back one last time. She saw them snuggled together, Alec stroking her softly while Sky cast a soft look at him. She left quietly and went to tell the others.

Alec hummed to the little bird and she stared up, as if trying to memorize him and the transgenic couldn't go on any longer. He sniffled and swiped at his eyes and he felt his throat burning.

"I'll never forget you," Alec choked back and held the little bird close to his heart as he kissed her head. "Thank you. For everything."

…


End file.
